From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Jump to navigation Jump to search

Georg Wilhelm Freidrich Hegel (1770–1831) was a German nerd who learned Latin at age three and went on to invent the Triforce and codify the laws of why people on the internet (and, indeed, IRL) are such bandwagon-jumping, backstabbing pricks.

Apart from getting you laid by philosophy co-eds, a quick and dirty familiarity with Hegel can be extremely useful for helping a troll trying to maintain distance from a situation and predict which way the pack will jump next.

Fucking Hegelian Dialectic, how does it work?

Hegel theorized that every generation was different to the last because every social phenomenon eventually produces a backlash. The backlash in turn produces massive internal drama, everyone acts like cocks for decades, and by the time everyone's sick of arguing the people involved have moved on / grown up / changed their opinions so much that a new generation has been produced entirely.

Put in its most concise form: thesis generates antithesis, the clash of the two generates synthesis, and by the time the dust has settled this synthesis is the new thesis—then repeat. The swinging '60s were a reaction against the boring '50s, and in the clash of newfags and oldfags that followed we ended up with the '70s. GG, idiots. GG.

The longer this goes on the greater a society becomes: "In philosophy, the latest the latest birth of time is the result of all the systems that have preceded it, and must include their principles: and so, if, on other grounds, it deserves the title of philosophy, it will be the fullest, most comprehensive, and most adequate system of all." (Hegel for Noobs). Until, society becomes so great it can be refereed to as an EPIC WIN. Hegel considered Prussia to be an epic win: what a retard.

Also, he stole most of it from J.G.Fichte like a true german nigger.

Why this is important to the internet

<video type="youtube" id="rlflHX5jGwM" width="200" height="150" desc="Hegel's Historical Dialectic" frame="true" position="right"/>

A good analogy here is the research into Alzheimer's that has recently got a lot of press for being funded by master lulzsmith and magic-sword-from-space-wielding fucking KNIGHT Sir Terry Pratchett.

Alzheimer's is a disease that manifests over a whole lifetime, but because mayflies only live for a day or two, studying them is a lot quicker a way of charting the cellular degeneration caused by the disease.

In exactly the same way, the social systems which Hegel predicted as turning around over the course of generations in his time can be observed today in a matter of weeks or days thanks to internet users being the attention span equivalent of mayflies.

Considering the following example:

  1. Harry Potter becomes huge. Everyone is really happy.
  2. Over time, the sequels hit. Suddenly, Hermione is more interested in Ron than Harry, Harry isn't interested in Luna Lovegood and we've got shipping wars left, right, and center.
  3. Forums erupt into drama. Splinter groups, splinter forums, and splinter websites form. Thesis and antithesis war against each other.
  4. Twilight comes out. Everyone decides that Edward is way hotter than Draco, and the disparate sides synthesize to form the new thesis.

...and everything is OK again. That is... UNTIL THE EDWARD VS. JACOB WARS START!

TL;DR: the internet is a ballet of a zillion Hegelian microcosms. There, ED taught you something today. Now go and get laid at an incredibly gay college party.

The master–slave dialectic

Moar info: Conspiracy Theory.

Hegel's articulation of the master–slave dialectic[2] has gained huge influence among Leftards and popular conceptions in Western culture. In the master–slave relationship the legitimacy of hierarchy is negated as the master is only better because he exploited the slave, thus he is actually worse; and when the slave recognizes that he (or he and his fellow slaves) is the one responsible for the greatness of the master's world they will rape the shit out of him. (Sounds familiar? Doesn't it?) While that example is a negative and parasitic (who is the dependent one?) form of hierarchy, a positive form of hierarchy would be the relationship between the apprentice and the master, where the master helps the apprentice become as good as he is: wills aligned not against. The master–slave dialectic also happens in BDSM; the BDSM communities' motto is "[keep interactions] safe, sane, and consensual" ("SSC"). Expanded to societal groups, those who are better in certain aspects have only and can only exploit those who aren't as good (the reason why they are better), thus, the "victim class" (good) and the "oppressor class" (evil) come to be. Some examples of "you are unjustly better":

Thus, if you positively affirm White culture (past or present) you are basically an evil individual that should feel guilty for being a racist.

This Left-wing meme has become very popular and caused a shiton of drama. See certain conceptions of History (e.g., of Whites, Slavery, or The Holocaust) and Marxism and its variants: Social Justice, tumblr, Liberalism, Sociology, Feminism (history of men oppressing women: "patriarchy"), etc.

Religion is regarded by the common people as true, by the wise as false, and by the rulers as useful.


Seneca the Younger on Religion

[The] horrors, according to postmodernism, are most prominent in the West, Western civilization being where reason and power [reason = power] have been the most developed. But the pain of those horrors is neither inflicted nor suffered equally. Males, whites, and the rich have their hands on the whip of power, and they use it cruelly at the expense of women, racial minorities, and the poor.


Explaining Postmodernism: Skepticism and Socialism from Rousseau to Foucault by Stephen R. C. Hicks on page 3

Why do White people always steal, rape, and ruin every place they go? The three pillars of White Supremacy are imperialism, genocide, and slavery"


—From an odd Omegle conversation (screenshot)

It looks like ANOTHER example in a long, long history of WHITE THEFT of black intellectual property, which includes inventions, music, dance, and, yes, novels that are turned into screenplays and mega-franchises.


"The Original Writer of The Matrix and The Terminator Is A Black Woman" – the ideas in the movie The Matrix were sort of stolen and a company was sued. This is similar to how weeaboos claim that Western media's best movies and shows were stolen from Japan. LOL, Cultural Marxism. Many half-truths are found in this theme.


Blacks cannot be racist as that would mean that they are somehow bad instead virtuous victims. Racists are subhumans/inhuman/anti-human-scum (unless they're non-White).

Kill whitey.


Aamer Rahman

A (if not the) central theme of the movie A Bug's Life is this dialectic


Lulzy images that invalidate hierarchy, great for trolling conservatives (make sure to mention shit about evil capitalists and white males). Notice how the leaders are total retards; and once the followers recognize this they will have unlimited permit to butcher them.

Victims cannot be oppressors!:

[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]
more images[3]


Hegel hated defective sick fucks:

Seeds contain the tree and its whole power, though they are not the tree itself ; the tree corresponds accurately to the simple structure of the seed. If the body does not correspond to the soul, it is defective.


Philosophy of Right, "Introduction", §1


See also

External links

Portal truth.png

Hegel is part of a series on


Visit the Truth Portal for complete coverage.


is part of a series on

The History of The Lulz

[Shut UpSing Me The Song Of My People]