This page contains spoilers — important plot secrets and/or conclusions may be revealed. For example, HOLY SHIT the Homeless DJ is no longer homeless!!!1
Let's get ready to panhandle!
I saw the sign.
It could be worse - he could be in Philly. You think the 76'ers have that kind of cash?
Ted Williams, better known as the Homeless DJ (or 'Radio Man', if you're a local cop) or The Homeless Man With The Golden Voice, from Columbus, Ohio, was recently exploited for channel-views by a local news station, but turned it into a win. A cross between Bruce Buffer and Barack Obama, this homeless ex-druggie has won the heart of the internet, a job, and a house by enunciating clearly and not sounding like a black person. He really used to be a Cleveland radio DJ until he fucked it up with drugs and alcohol, like all niggers and mexicans.
The Cleveland Cavaliers just offered me a full-time job and a house! A house! A house!
Hi! I'm Ted Williams, and when I'm not defecating publicly, I can represent your company with my golden, velvety voice.
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Whether or not GOD is to blame for his popularity or not, it's easy to say that people will go Jesus-crazy and get extremely preachy with anyone who says anything other than "JEEZUS LUVZ U GAWD BLESS."
Homeless guy talks about Ted Williams Some Russian fag heckles homeless people.
Russian Accent < Ted's Voice
— YouTuber (ZacharyGalloway)
Hassling home people in a different city. Yep, you're a true faggot piece of shit.
You didn't find Ted WIlliams friend, you bothered a bunch of homeless people until you found one willing to spew a few lines on camera.
As a journalist you failed, as a human being you took advantage of somebody unfortunate. It undermines the very fabric of Ted's story and you should be ashamed.
—SRS YouTuber (goodolarchie)
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No comments on Ted in the comments section of this video though! Looks like Ted will have his 20 days of popularity. Sooner or later, he'll let it all go to his head and completely fucking overdo it. Hopefully, he'll provide enough entertainment to distract us from the war in Iraq. Let's start the countdown to relapse!
Update: Ted Williams has checked himself into rehab, post-arrest after the police let him off with a warning and Dr. Phil had a heart to heart with Ted. Maybe they can also rehabilitate his worsening case of USI as well, even though it's unlikely as the only cure for USI is a lead aspirin.
After apparently not seeing his family in five years, Ted was gloriously reunited with them. He promptly ordered some grey goose before beating the shit out of all of them. He went on to call his daughter a fat bitch and punch her in the face. The next day he appeared on Dr. Phil for a little more exploitation. He is now off to rehab again.
The many faces of Ted
Ted is known for having over 9000 faces and its practically impossible to say how the fuck he did it, however that is just a fact that nobody cares too much