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PROTIP: The 7 year old child is fictional.
PROTIP: The 7 year old child is still fictional.
Wiccan advice for furry homeschooling.

A hot issue in the realm of pop parenting, homeschooling is where some unfortunate child's parents get the idea in their head that they are more qualified than a trained teacher uncaring middle aged asshole who barely passed college by sucking their professor's cock to educate their child, usually because the public school system will not indoctrinate said child with their fundie beliefs. For more information, see Lj-favicon.png homeschooling.

Origins of Homeschooling

Homeschooling began as a way for evolution denying, vaccine hating Hillary supporters to ensure their children would never have friends, healthy relationships or a proper social life. Because pure evil plays such a central role in homeschooling, it is commonly accepted that their numbers are increased primarily by converting unaware victims through the drainage of blood, much like vampires. However, many brave teens have dedicated their legacies to showing the homeschoolers the light side of the education system, by committing mass shootings. Homeschooled children are the scum of the earth, and are thoroughly recommended to kill themselves.

Why People Choose Homeschooling

Parents generally feel the school system is ill equipped to explain to their child why the world is still flat, or why working for the benefit of mankind is cooler than drugs and sex. Some of them even go and get degrees so they can better assure the rest of the world that it is flat, and that anyone who disagrees with them is a fag anyhow.


  • More time for the internet when your coked up "teacher" isn't looking
  • Never being let out of your house
  • Homeschooled students are not subject to the testing requirements of the No Child Left Behind Act.


  • All homeschooled characters start off with 1 in charisma, and pay double point cost for any and all social skills.
  • "I wasn't worried about Becky's education till I went to her school and saw just how many MOOSLEMS were there."
  • Your parents micromanage your life.
  • Because of this, homeschool kids are over 9000 times more likely to become druggie hedonists when they get to college and finally have some freedom. Those who don't will spend the entire time studying and having no life, thereby missing out on the best parts of college.

See Also

Homeschooling is part of a series on Education

[Drop OutGo To School]