Hong Kong 97

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You can already tell this is gonna be the best game ever.

You are probably here because you are a gaymer faggot. Hong Kong 97 is a 2009 multidirectional shooter video game made in China for the Xbox in disk drive format by HappySoft Ltd., a homebrew game company. The game was designed by the Japanese game designer loli maker Shigaro Miamoto, who said the game was made in about a couple of years after half life and after looking at deep throat, then it was released.


Plot

UGLY FUCKING READHEADS ARE INVADING THE MAINLAND, AND SO JAPAN CALLS UPON ITS FINEST AND MOST SPECIAL TRAIN SOLDIERS. NONE OTHER THAN FOXHOUND! The metal gear has been revived as a random communist floating head guy and YOU GOTTA STOP THE METAL GEAR! So after big boss dies solid snakes genes are stolen and used to create Japan's favorite Mary Sue "Chin", a super cyborg badass who defeated 1.2 billion Russians before naked snake even set foot in the USSR. He is so OP that he even beat metaknight in super smash bros brawl. Pretty fucking badass if you ask me. Damn Chinese should know who their dealing with. After you defeat the metal gear he turns into like 15 atomic explosions and then the game goes on. Damn Asians take on nukes harder than cockroaches! Go get em chin!

Gameplay

Chin is dead!

Immediately after a conversation with big boss (which follows some ads and the title screen, stupid EA software), the game starts without any warning. (Only badasses would survive a game over.) The player controls 4Chin, who fires MOTHAFUCKING NUCLEAR SALIVA AT HIS ENEMIES (Interestingly enough, despite china having the largest armed forces, they also appear to be the shittiest, completely missing every single bullet at chin, like all 90's video games, god damnit japan, get it right). Since chin is obviously using every single nuclear stockhold of weapons given to china after the cold war, his enemies explode into subatomic explosions and get killed (Like I said, asians are made out of lead). After a while, cars appear, turning the game into crossy roads (quite unoriginal for a snes game but whatever) and the metal gear appears. The final boss is a floating chinese dudes head who is really the metal gear, and once he is defeated, the chinese give no fucks and still keep coming at you like a bunch of killer bees. All these happen with a mode7 CGI rendered logo background; random as fuck and might be pictures of Maoist propaganda, Guilin, the logo for Asia Television, the logo for the Chinese Coca-Cola (Wtf coca-cola seems to own the world) or even Mao Zedong in monochrome. (<-- wtf is monochrome?) (<-- Look it up dumbass you have google) (Oh shit sorry)

Unfortunately for chin, even though hes badass to fire nuclear missiles to kill off all of china, he accidentally set the game to UBER HARD OMG 1 HIT KO!! And so, if anything hits chin the bitch, he is insta-killed (unless Chin is under invincibility), and since japanese people make really good trolls, they put a motherfucking dead corpse caught with a security camera (even before liveleak started doing that), with the words "CHIN IS DEAD!" and big boss saying "CHIN? CHIN?! CHIIIIIINNNNN!!!!" in English and in a badly toned Chinese "Chén sǐ wáng" (陳死亡) – can be interpreted as either "Chin is dead", or as a proper name "Dead Chin", superimposed on the screen. Then after a long ass cutscene and bullshit, the game starts all over. The game is noted for its difficulty, one of the factors that made the game a kuso-ge. (dafuq is a kuso-ge?) (I TOLD YOU TO FUCKING LOOK IT UP) (I CANT FIND ANYTHING ALL I FIND IS CHINESE HENTAI!!) (JUST KEEP READING THE ARTICLE DUMBASS!!!!) (OKAY, OKAY, JEEZ.)

The game can be played in English, Japanese, or Spanish. The first two sentences of the introduction in English mode are: "The year 1997 has arrived. A herd of fuckin' ugly reds. are rushing from China."

Sounds

Upon turning on the game, the best song int the world plays: "I Love Beijing Tiananmen". They are so good at the music that it seemingly goes on forever. You COULD turn off the snes to shut up the music, or you could stop gayming and become something in life you miserable nigger.

Influence

HappySoft Ltd. made a game so damn good, it got 10/10 IGN and was awarded game of the year 200 times in a row. In fact, it was so good it beat sales of other popular games at the time, like snes paint, dinosaur adventures, and monster truck rally '95. The original release sales remain the 7th best selling of all time. Everybody in Japan agrees that the guy who made this game went on to make touhou, even though this game will never live to be as good as its original. The game was released on steam and sold 420 million copies, earning valve so much money they closed diretire because they didnt need any more money from DOTA2fags. Some teenagers in Taiwan made a HD Remaster of HK97 called "TW2001" for the PC and Xbox 360, claiming it to be better than HK97 (but nothing beats the origin- OOH GOOD GRAPHICS 100/1 IGN MUM GET THE CAMERA!!). In 2015, the game was featured on the popular internet series, The Angry Video Game Nerd, which is a pro-virginity site.

See also

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