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IM PRESSIN CHARGES
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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Some crazy-ass nigra with the unpronounceable name "Nafiza Ziyad" chimps out on an older, more civilized black woman. Other apes on the train grow tired of her monkey antics and decide to fuck with her, taking her red hat and do-rag. She then informs them that she plans to pursue legal action by yelling out loudly and repeatedly, IM PRESSIN CHARGES!!!
Don't worry, it has subtitles due to gratuitous use of ebonics.
A helpful translation (which still comes out as jibba-jabba)
My shit, matta fact you assassinating. Cuz im finna to send him to come do it. Anybody wanna see young jeezy kill Goerge Bush shawty? Yuuuoooooooh, crank dat soulja girl. Soulja girl allp in it, 'hoe' Watcha crank an watchmeh roll Waymi crank dat soulja girl an superman that hoe, now watch me yuuuooooh... yahhh nigga yahhhh....get out ma face! yahhh yahh yahhhhhh.....get out ma face!... Eyo soulja girl can i get uh minute...ay! Ummm ummm manhannahinnut ey!.. Ey soulja girl ey! yahhhh nigga yahhhhhhhh! Yahhh yahh yahhhHhhh! get out ma face! get out ma face! i want my shit!..i want my shit!...i want my shit!...i want my shit!....shawty. Beat dat ah, beat dat ah...ima beatcha ass on thi traiiin...we on da marta im finna do ma thang... You thought I couldn't freestyle on you boo? You owe everybody an apology fo yo shit hoe... You got five minutes to do it or its over bitch. Or ima ram through the white house and kick off in ma shit... An you own wonna take it theuh... I got a bunch of grown niggas in ma rent-uh-centu take it theuh.. It's ovur this mean war!..I'm ain squashing this shit shawty..We finna go to war.. Straight in the U.S...Ey jeezy baby i got this bitch right here lets take the test... Somebody give me a phone shawty...i aint gon need no phone........... Shawty.......Ima kill lil shawty... guy: Shawty chill man its a old lady man chill man... crazy: old lady??? guy: Yeah man... crazy: you know what this old lady called me!? guy: man chill with that crazy shit man... crazy: chill!??!?! ima chill shawty... guy: foreal tho... crazy: ima go on and chill... thank you that's the best advice that i could take shawty...just chill!... till i get to Eli Train Station, and how dare you jump up in my face, N-E-way. And say a GOD DAMN! thing to me about cussin out no old lady. you the same nigga i been lookin for that raped me. you the same nigga i been lookin for that raped me shawty......... same nigga from glenwood. the same nigga. the same nigga from glenwood. fuck glenwood????? eight teeth! hold up!!!!!!!!!!! wait a minute!!!!!!!!!! hold!! you got not right bitch!!!!!!!!!! hold up!!!!!! hold the fuck up hoe!!!!!! you got no right bitch!!! boom* *kachow* *splat* *pow* *bam!* Ay dude turn hands with that shit. hold hands with thi shit. where ma A hat? somebody get ma hat so i can go, somebody get ma hat so i can go, somebody get ma hat so i can go. did anybody see muh hat. if if they hit me! im pressin charges. im pressin charges. im pressin charges. im pressin charges. whats they name? im pressin charges. im pressin charges. im pressin charges. im pressin charges. im pressin charges. im pressin charges. im pressin charges. where ma du-rag at????? *its on yuh head* im pressin charges im pressin charges. its over.
Warrant and Arrest
Police in Atlanta’s public transportation have issued a warrant for the arrest of a young woman known as “Soulja Girl” after she was seen violently rebuking an elderly woman on a subway line. Evident of how low intellect niggers should NOT leave their ghetto after smoking crack and listening to Soulja Boy's noise.
The nigger was seen screaming on the train at the elderly woman while reciting lyrics to the rapper Soulja Boy. The black person is seen on a widely-viewed video screaming, “Yaaa, nigga, yaaa” and “I’ma beat your ass on this train.” We are not making this up. She also called the senior citizen a ho and a bitch and threatened to kill her.
Wanda Y. Dunham, the chief of police for Moving Africans Rapidly Through Atlanta (MARTA), issued a statement requesting help in arresting the female. A MARTA representative confirmed that the person in the video is indeed the same person sought by police.
“MARTA police were notified about this video last Friday and launched an immediate and aggressive investigation into the incident,” said Dunham in a statement. “The tipster also indicated the suspect has been known to ride Bus Route 22. MARTA police were able to positively identify the individual allegedly involved in this incident and have secured a warrant for her arrest.”
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The nigra's many mugshots
Skeeter's PRESSIN CHARGES.
- Bus Uncle
- The Peckham Terminator
- Soulja Boy
- IMMA CHARGIN MAH LAZER
- INTERNET INTERNET INTERNET INTERNET INTERNET INTERNET INTERNET
- Nigger Manual
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