I can swear!

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I can swear! can be described as one of two cases:

Like an atheist or a vegan anywhere, anyone daring to be able to swear must let everyone in the vicinity know that the power to swear has been bestowed upon them. Such a blessing is welcomed, as nobody already in the area has no idea that "Naughty" language is allowed, and the speaker's parents are not present to stop them.

A speaker will never feel as happy as discovering when they can swear ever again in their lives, as they will never have sex and never orgasm. Like the initial snowflake that starts an avalanche, this power discovery will lead the user to be either spew profanity everywhere (needed and unneeded) or they will apologize for going "overboard".

Typical patron's reaction to the latter.

Who can swear?

Heh heh... potty mouths...

Who can not swear?

What should if I encounter someone who can swear?

It is important to remember that most people who are consciously aware of their ability to swear can, and will, abuse their power. If this disorder is permitted to continue, the individual will take it upon themselves to push the boundaries of other social restrictions. No longer satisfied with "child-friendly" phrases such as poo-poo, weiner, heck, and countless others, the person in question will continue to swear until they can no longer speak

If the person in question is met OL

Most of the time these individuals are either attention whores, newfags, or try-hards who think that swearing entitles them to some kind of merit. These individuals are best dealt with in similar manner to all attention whores.

If the person in question is met IRL

If the person is your own child or the child of a relative.

Nice try, but that would involve you actually getting sex. If the slight chance comes around that you can begot offspring, then proper discipline is recommended.

If the person is a stranger.

Abuse of language is a minor sign of angst. Proper decontamination must be used.

  1. Find the person's mother.
  2. Position his/her head between the legs of his/her mother, close to the vagina.
  3. Falcon punch that fool into being unbirthed.
  4. Cunt punch the woman to prevent escape and further damage.
  5. Marvel in your own accomplishment. You've just done the world a favor, albeit a minor one.

See Also