I can swear!
I can swear! can be described as one of two cases:
- A power that certain people use to appear to be more intimidating or mature than they actually are by using "bad" language.
- A phrase commonly exclaimed from young children when they leave their traditional e-comfort zone to discover that they can, in fact, say "Fuck".
Like an atheist or a vegan anywhere, anyone daring to be able to swear must let everyone in the vicinity know that the power to swear has been bestowed upon them. Such a blessing is welcomed, as nobody already in the area has no idea that "Naughty" language is allowed, and the speaker's parents are not present to stop them.
A speaker will never feel as happy as discovering when they can swear ever again in their lives, as they will never have sex and never orgasm. Like the initial snowflake that starts an avalanche, this power discovery will lead the user to be either spew profanity everywhere (needed and unneeded) or they will apologize for going "overboard".
Who can swear?
- The Batman
- 13 year old boys
- Internet tough guys
- You (Come on, you are on this site, after all.)
- A perfectly rational user who is troubled by certain individuals
- Anybody on Xbox Live
Who can not swear?
Club Penguin players FreeRealms players Runescape playersAnyone in an online community where children might be present
- People in the presence of company who wish to keep a sense of dignity to the area.
What should if I encounter someone who can swear?
It is important to remember that most people who are consciously aware of their ability to swear can, and will, abuse their power. If this disorder is permitted to continue, the individual will take it upon themselves to push the boundaries of other social restrictions. No longer satisfied with "child-friendly" phrases such as poo-poo, weiner, heck, and countless others, the person in question will continue to swear until they can no longer speak
If the person in question is met OL
Most of the time these individuals are either attention whores, newfags, or try-hards who think that swearing entitles them to some kind of merit. These individuals are best dealt with in similar manner to all attention whores.
If the person in question is met IRL
If the person is your own child or the child of a relative.
If the person is a stranger.
Abuse of language is a minor sign of angst. Proper decontamination must be used.
- Find the person's mother.
- Position his/her head between the legs of his/her mother, close to the vagina.
- Falcon punch that fool into being unbirthed.
- Cunt punch the woman to prevent escape and further damage.
- Marvel in your own accomplishment. You've just done the world a favor, albeit a minor one.