Iceland

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If you're looking for the eruption, see Iceland Volcano 2010.

Iceland (more like Bankruptland, amirite?) is a magical island off the coast of Greenland populated by Aryansicenad and Polish Whores. 30% of Iceland is covered by it's largest city and capital, Lazy Town, which is inhabited by grotesquely mutated plastic midgets, homosexuals, pink-haired albinos and furnazis. Due to the inbred locals' racist obsession with linguistic purity, the language has remained essentially the same since Viking times, free of non-Icelandic influence, which is cool if you're a Nazi. Further evidence of the superiority of the inhabitants can be seen in the fact that they do not have last names like normal people - in our culture this would render every Icelander a Bastard.

Icelanders are 90% Lutheran, which means that they believe that faith alone will get them into heaven. This single-minded faggotry leads them to ignore confusing ethical questions such as "does little Jimmy actually want my cock?" Icelanders tend also towards worship of their famous explorer Leif Erikson, because they can only spend so much time drooling over pictures of the hideous Bjork and pretending to understand Sigur Rós, an emo band who sing mostly in an imaginary language which they made up, despite Iceland already having a deliberately incomprehensible language. Despite what you might think, their music is actually pretty good.

Iceland is also known for having a chronic shortage of war, violence, death, or anything else remotely interesting except a ruined economy, previously based on fishing and banking fraud. They do have many volcanoes but are scared to visit them because they got pwned by one in 1875.

Iceland, is a host for not only dykes but also for sexist single moms who have a say in the politics, thus making the lazy bitches drain the blood out of the rich fishermen within its boundaries.

Food

They make their kids eat this

In Iceland you have many different types to eat:

For example:

  • Hákarl, a shark which was buried underground for months, rotting in a pool of its own ammonia and urea, and then dug up and hung to dry for half a year. Somehow, it's actually edible.
  • Súrsaðir hrútspungar, sheep testicles boiled in lactic acid.
  • Svið, sheep head cut in half and boiled for 5 hours.
  • Harðfiskur, fish jerky.
  • Other types of rot.
  • Skýr, literally just fucking greek yogurt.
  • Súr Hvalur, whale blubber fermented in sour milk. Not joking.
  • Rúgbrauð, Rye bread. People eat that in America, too, for some reason.

Remember after you've paid $300 to taste all these to puke them up right away cause they will kill you.

Fun Facts

Lesbian Overlord of Iceland
So true
  • Money heaven is in the pockets of icelandic bankers
  • The legal definition of a 2nd generation polack is kitten because he's not a full grown pussy yet.
  • Crossfit is considered a sport
  • Iceland topped the UN Human Development Index (HDI) for 2007 & 2008, largely due to their lack of niggers.1
    • 1. Not coincidentally, all 22 countries the U.N. report rated as "low development" are located in Africa, proving the U.N. is racist or just hates black people for sport. Although some argue this is impossible, as the U.N. has black friends.
  • Let a 50 year old single mother be Prime Minister, Jóhanna Sigurðardóttir.
  • With the highest birth & divorces rate in Europe, Iceland serves as a kind of day spa for Eskimo prostitutes.
  • In keeping with their status as walking baby factories, Icelanders enjoy 9 months of state subsidized maternity leave and free all day preschools. This makes The Economy thrive!
  • Iceland has an extremely low crime rate, due to the popularity of pregnancy, marijuana, sluttery and lack of black person.
  • In 2007, Iceland had the sixth highest GDP per capita in the world and the worlds fastest expanding banking system, leading the UN to declare it the best place on earth in which to live! Less than a year later however, Iceland is dead ass broke and their government collapsed, due to a combination of hilarious fraud by the banks and the stupidity of the locals.
  • The sun, like the economy, does not function properly in Iceland. If you meet an Icelander, this is a good observation to break the ice with.
  • Beer was illegal in Iceland until 1989.
  • Iceland is a nation of bastards according to one expert.
  • EVE Online was made in Iceland. Enough said.

No Niggers Allowed!

Iceland has a no nigger policy. That means you. While this rule has been around since last thursday, you can unfortunately find AIDS-inducing black person in Iceland, despite the fact that all Icelanders are racist to the core. The niggers that do live in Iceland survive by hanging as a group and eating shellfish found on the floor, and spreading AIDS for profit and for teh lulz.

Awesome Job Opportunities In Iceland

Constable Rainbow and Officer Cloud fairytale

Rumour has it that Iceland's Police would never use his brute force. oddly enough, a challenger appears...

Story begins with a 52 year old gentleman shooting at random objects, trying to drill a few holes on his apartment's wall; so that he could hang a few paintings from the wall. And, Oh! Since this is Iceland - a very modern and civilized country -, Mozzart's Allegro is playing in the background the whole time. Anyways... Neighbours tired and gruesome of loud and obnoxious noises, had to phone the Logregran.

Police casually arrived and tried to reason with the man by throwing smoke grenades in his flat. However, their plan to logic with the armed man failed. It was only then, when everybody started shooting eachother.

By the time Mozzart has finished Adagio, the man was dead and Iceland's police have killed someone for the very first time in the history of Iceland itself. Upon publishing such fairy-tale style news in American media, millions of U.S citizens formed a queue in front of the Icelandic Embassy, demanding refugee protection.

Cool People From Iceland

Everyone in Iceland is cool.


The already overwhelming coolness of the above video is enhanced if you consider that:

  • Iceland has no niggers for aspiring wiggers to emulate, so the featured "thug" is apparently "keeping it real" by imitating what he saw on television about life in the ghettoes of foreign countries.
  • The Icelandic language is so gay that it was used as the basis for the Elvish language in the Lord of the Rings books.

Famous Icelandic buildings

Because Iceland is filled with mostly feminists and single mothers all Icelandic buildings look like huge dongs

Gallery

See Also

External Links

  • OTI fans of the country can be found here.


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