Indigo Children are special creatures whose batshit hippy parents decided that their sprog came from the stars. Believed to possess psychic powers such as telekinesis, telepathy, and the ability to divide by zero due to the blue aura that psychics tell us surrounds them, Indigo Children are better than the children of mundane plebeians, who can't understand how special they truly are. In reality, Indigo Children are developmentally behind average children, but their parents are too arrogant to accept that anything they hatched could be anything less than a creative genius.
It is estimated that 95% of children diagnosed with ADD, Asperger's, and Tourette's Syndrome are actually Indigos. The crotchdropping that egged your house this Halloween was probably just expressing his Indigo emotions. Also, he probably did it with his mind.
How to tell if your child may be Indigo
- They act like self-righteous fuckwits.
- They refuse to talk. This means they are communicating telepathically.
- They refuse to submit to you. Your mom is a different story all together.
- They are not toilet-trained by age three because they are
too free-spirited to shit in a toiletmildly retarded.
- They speak to spirits (aka gibberish).
- They order you around. Trust them, they know everything.
- They shoot their classmates.
- They have seizures. This isn't epilepsy, it's latent telekinetic energy that's being trapped inside them. Encourage them to egg people's houses with their minds.
- They generally act like other children, only more spoiled, bitchy, and demonic.
- They look like you.
How to cure an Indigo Child
- Beatings. Severe ones.
- Encourage them to achieve their true potential
List of Famous Indigo Children
- Chris Chan
- Adam Lanza
- Alex Compson
- Violet Beauregard
- Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold
- Amethyste Lillium Abigail Malfoy Dumbledore-Potter
- Asa Coon
- Travis the Killer Chimp
- INDIGO2000000 - A batshit lady on YouTube.
- indigochild.com - A site full of batshit.
- What are Indigo Children? - Information of a batshit nature.
- Indigo Children according to skepdic.com - These people don't believe our speshul kids came from the stars.
- Indigo Children Forum - A forum full of these batshits.