Inhalants

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Duuuuude... This is some really good whip!! We gotta finish this before your mom gets back!!! Then we can listen to that new Green Day CD and go on Newgrounds!! We're totally such stoners!!!
 

 
 

—-Typical User (13 year old suburban boys)

Inhalants (also refered to as solvents) are the drug (or more accurately substance) of choice for the incredibly poor and incredibly stupid. These substances refer to anything where you inhale the fumes of a liquid or solid without first burning it or vaporizing it. An equally accurate definition is anything oil based you can buy for less that $5 or anything seen being used by the local indigenous population or 13 year olds proving to their friends how cool they are by sniffing a gluestick. Glue, petrol, paint, thinners, benzene and toluene are the most common inhalants, as they can be easily purchased at your local newsagent or hardware shop.

Using inhalants is the equivalent in drug use to drinking mouthwash with alcoholism. Right down to you stupidity, poorness, undoubtedly your race and your burning desire to end up completely Schizo.

PROTIP: Stealing cocaine from a mentally unstable black man will yield a better result than using inhalants. Why don't you go steal some real drugs?

Poppers

Poppers (also known as the goatse drug) is used exclusively by faggots during episodes of partying and playing (PNP) who want to be able to fit huge cocks in their ass. All you have to do is pop off the cap, sniff the aromatic contents of the bottle, and your anus will magically expand and be able to stretch to lengths never before thought possible! This is accompanied by a brief high (a minute or two) and increased libido and orgasm potency so you and your gay friends can have a massive gay orgy together! Poppers, sold in porn shops, usually are administered using a cloth soaked in the bottle's aromatic contents and then inhaled. Spilling the bottle is embarrassing and smelly and irritates the skin. Poppers are often part of the PNP practice, used conjunctively with amphetamines and ecstasy-type chemicals with one drug enhancing the other. Persons on viagra to overcome the erectile dysfunction (e.g. crystal dick) that sometimes occurs need to avoid poppers. They can cause a sudden drop in blood pressure that can be fatal if taken to extremes. Viagra + amphetamines + Poppers = a real black out.

Key demographics

Indigenous peoples

How most of the world's inhalants are obtained.

Petrol sniffing is a national pasttime of the Australian aboriginal, and has been ever since petrol came to Australia at least 100 years ago. It has been well documented that petrol sniffing was around, long before adding lead as a performance enhancer was banned and as such aboriginals have an average IQ of 62 (to give that some perspective the average European has an IQ of about 100).

Even though the price of petrol in Australia has doubled in recent years, abos still get their hands on it either by stealing money or by siphoning tanks. Even with the relatively cheap price of most opioids and amphetamines, inhalants are still the drug of choice for all aboriginals. Ask any of them, and they'll say it's so they can go back to the "dream time".

Natives to the Americas also love inhalants that include gasoline and other wonderful goodies. The staple injun diet includes some good solid inhalants to huff away on and a healthy bottle of Listerine to get ultra fucked up on.

And they want us to respect their culture?

13 year olds

A common desire amongst young boys is to try drugs. However, the combination of being too much of a fucking pussy and not knowing where to get actual drugs (despite it's availability from old men at the local park) leads them to use inhalants. Thinking that sniffing on a gluestick makes them ultimate cool guy they will usually huff away on the gluestick for a few hours before either:

  • Being caught by a concerned parent.
  • Not being caught, passing out from the fumes and developing a permanent learning impairment.

Effects

Butane huffing can cause some of the most delicious side effects of any drug evar. To understand what can happen, it is necessary to understand chemically what butane does when it rapidly expands (please feel free to skip this).

As butane rapidly expands, or changes from the liquid in a can to the gaseous fumes you inhale, the "quantity" of heat energy present does not change. However since the volume of "the system" increases rapidly, the temperature of the gas can decrease rapidly. However since this gas which is now below 0F doesn't want to change temperature, it will respond by pulling the heat energy out of the surface of your entire respiratory and circulatory systems.

The result of this is getting frostbite inside your lungs and arteries, which is pretty much always fatal. Aside from the obvious solution of not sniffing butane it is a good idea to not breathe a fuck ton of it all at once.

Cardiac arrest and dropping dead suddenly are sometimes results of people doing it wrong and can be easily avoided by not huffing it too fast. Contrary to the beliefs of retarded people, high on petrol fumes, you do need to occasionally breathe oxygen or risk dying. Some inhalants also remove all Carbon Dioxide from the blood, removing the breathing reflex and causing you to be brain dead in seconds.

Like with avoiding frostbite from butane, the really obvious and overlooked solution is to slow the fuck down. A good idea is to remember that too much too fast, is an overdose like with all drugs.

However, at the time you will be considered a pretty cool guy. You'll get high for next to no cost and they are completely not illegal unlike every other drug. Do it faggot.

Known users

The Best Huffing Vidyas Evar

See Also

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Inhalants

is part of a series on

Drugs

[Cut It OutExpand Your Mind]

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List of Drugs

AmphetaminesAqua DotsBath SaltsBenzosBotoxBuprenorphineCocaineDextromethorphanDMTDramamineEcstasyInhalants See Also: AboriginesKetamineLSALSDMescalineMeow MeowOpioidsPCPResearch ChemicalsSalviaShroomsWeed

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