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Iron Man Numbers

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"...and I don't care anymore."





You've seen YouTube videos like this go viral every month. April of '09 brought us Angry Homo Kid. May of that same year would bring us MMORPG Freak Out. Epic Beard Man took the public by storm in February of 2010. The flavor of April-May for this year is actually a video submitted to YouTube at some point last year, and which only ended up going viral the next.

Iron Man Numbers documents the supposed break-up of YouTube user Youtube-favicon.png Ryan "Jerkstore" Dicks with his batshit insane girlfriend, Jenna. The video runs 8 minutes in length, and contains more memorable quotes than you can shake a stick at. Ryan would later take the video down, but luckily, someone else had a copy.

After the video went viral, Jenna cut up her face while Jerkstore lol'd, and promptly submitted the video to YouTube.

Contents

WTF are "Iron Man Numbers"?

According to Urban Dictionary in 2009,

   
 
When something reaches a very large number of hits. Similarly to the hit blockbuster movie Iron Man did in theaters.
 

 
 

Urban Dictionary, [1]

You probably could have inferred that, but we'll tell you anyway. More importantly, why was he bragging about his thread's view counts while discussing a relationship?

Background

Jerkstore aka Ryan was just a hipster fag on this rap forum back in 2006-7. There was this female user Myst that started to build a liking to him. Ryan, 18 at the time, decided he wanted to meet up with Myst(Jenna) IRL(who was at least like 27). They seemed to have hit it off pretty well and ended up living together. Well a while after Ryan posts this thread below:


   
 
as those close to me have heard, i just recently got home from my 2 and a half month stay with jen. i broke up with her the day after i got home. an abortion of a relationship and a long time coming. she's a repulsive humanbeing. to prove that i don't give a fuck anymore i decided to make a post."
 

 
 

Gallery from the post

About missing Pics

Not much is known in regards to background at the moment. Due to the Tim Horton's cup and the Shoppers drug mart bag, we can assume he is in Canada. Details of the relationship are still unknown.

Real?

There remains some debate over if this is real. Many of Ryan's videos are full of attention whoring and some have called their performances a mere charade. However, some point out that Ryan deleted the video from his youtube, perhaps out of troll's remorse or realizing the legal status of recording a phone call without the other party's consent in most states as evidence that shit's real. It's pretty lol either way, but of course we at ED prefer drama, so we're hoping shit's legit.

Update

File:Ironmannumbers -not me.jpg
WARNING! This photo is not Ryan. Nobody who looks like this could be expected to have IRON MAN NUMBERS.

It seems Ryan is still dating Jenna. He claims, publicly on his forumspring account that they "the background behind this video is i was getting a lot of attention online that day which is always a trigger for my girlfriend and going through relationship problems and on my online peak had discussed breaking up (we break up a lot but as of right now going to say currently together)..." Why this idiot would put up with the antics of a shrill bitch like Jenna is beyond definition and only points to his own dramatic lack of self respect. Further, Jenna reads Linda Goodman's "Love Signs" (as shown in one of the pictures below) and constantly posts about crystals and moon phases which only further illustrates her lack of common sense. Hey, guess what? These two deserve each other because nobody else should be subjected to his attention whoring and her dingbat hippy mannerisms.

Ryan is also a very conscientious boyfriend as well, despite the fact that he posts retarded youtube videos of his girlfriend freaking out, thus ruining her already shaky mental well-being, he feels the need to stay away from all the "hot chicks" on soulseek. "i quit for jen's sanity she was very jealous of all the chicks that wanted to fuck me and the fact that half of them lived in california."

Transcript


Jenna: lies! look how you are you can't even stop
Ryan: what's the problem
J: you're a liar you loved me this is dysfunctional
R: what did I lie about
J: you lied about everything you lied about loving you lied about... being nicer to me. You're right! I'm a loser! I can't do this anymore! You don't respect me, Ryan.
R: Am I stalking you?
J: Ryan?
R: What?
J: You got your message board? Right?
R: Yeah
J: You got your message board, Right?
R: Yes. I don't need you anymore.
J: This is.. do, do you realize why I why I why this why this started in the first place?
R: I don't need you anymore ok
J: It's because you said that (great) too many times
R: great okay I don't okay I don't need you anymore
J: and you're lying right now because you've been chasing me for fucking
R: well not anymore ? and my threads are doing iron man numbers and I don't need you anymore
J: Ryan?
R: MY THREADS ARE DOING IRON MAN NUMBERS AND I DON'T CARE ANYMORE
J: I wanna cut my face, I wanna cut my face, I WANT IT I WANNA ?!?!? I DON'T WANNA DO THIS ANYMORE IT SUCKS!!! You hung up on me?
R: No, I'm here.
J: No, well, I want you to...I want you to promise that, like...we're never, like, I want you to accept that it's over...do you accept it?
R: Uh...
J: Do you accept that it's over?
R: I, I don't care.
J: D-do you accept that it's over? DO YOU ACCEPT THAT IT'S OVER?
R: Yes.
J: You son of a bitch. You lied about everything...
R: Sorry, you messed up.
J: No, YOU messed up
R: Nope it was you.
J: YOU messed up...YOU messed up!
R: No, Jenna
J: And I was a sucker...
R: Sorry, Jenna...
J: ...For believing anything you fucking said
R: Jenna it was you.
J: Ryan it was you.
R: Nooo...
J: None of those emails you sent me over the last week...those phone calls...none of them were real...it was all fake...it was all fake! And none of it was genuine...none of it was real!
R: [stupid youtube video with guy in blue whitey tighties]
J: That's you? Is that you? What is that? What is that, Ryan? What is that, Ryan? Do you want me to hurt you? WHAT IS THAT *SOB*
J: *harder sobbing* is that your new, is that your new youtube ryan? is that your new youtube? please respond to me. 
R: *mild lolling*
J: please respond to me. (I gotta) please respond to me.
R: I gotta go Jenna
J: PLEASE RESPOND TO ME PLEASE RESPOND TO ME
R: I gotta go Jenna. Thank you
J: is that your new youtube?
R: I gotta go Jenna
J: Ryan?
R: I gotta go Jenna
J: You think you got me ba- you think you got me fuckin' whipped again. Fuck you
R: I gotta go Jenna
J: Ryan, tell me what that is
R: I gotta go
J: then everything you said was a lie.
R: okay
J: Everything you said was a lie, Everything you said was a lieee, everything you said was a lie, EVERYTHING YOU SAID WAS A LIE
R: You should stop. You should pay less attention to soulseek and more attention to the messageboards it's better.
J: EVERYTHING YOU SAID WAS A LIE! EVERYTHING YOU SAID WAS A LIE!
R: My threads are doing iron man numbers.
J: K, you wanna listen to me punching myself.
R: I've heard it before.
J: Yeah, do you like it?
R: No, it's old.
J: is it? like me right?
R: *sigh*
J: right? right??? OH YOU CARE OH YOU CARE SO MUCH OH MY GOD I FUCKING BELI- I CAN'T BELIEVE I FUCKING BELIEVED YOU you, you really did change you really are gonna change aren't you
R: go pm
J: you really are gonna change for me aren't you ryan? aren't you?
R: go pm
J: you really are gonna change aren't you Ryan?
R: go pm
J: *sob*
R: I have to go now
J: you gonna do this?
R: Yeah. I have to go
J: Ryan? You lost me. You don't care anymore?
R: No. I have to go.
J: You're si- you're a sick person..That's all I have to- I just have to remember that you're you're sick in the head. I can't believe that I believed you again.
R: I know.
J: I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT I BELIEVED YOU AGAIN! 
R: I know
J: You jerked off, and this is the result. It's amazing.
R: Jerk off and then decide
J: And that's what you did, isn't it?
R: Nah, I'm on an internet high right now I don't need to jerk off.
J: Ok well, Ryan? you lost me
R: Ok i understand
J: Whats the reality of that gonna set in
R: Doesn't matter because i don't care
J: Yea u do u care
R: You're a whore; 
J: Yea.. what?!
R: I think you're a whore
J: You gonna  you gonna call me a name again?
R: I think you're a whore hang up
J: *sniffle u think i'm a whore?
R: Yea
J: *hehumm uhhwaaa *uoomm uoom (it sounds like a dog crying) then a; heeaayaah (some sort of yelp)
you said you were gonna help me ; you said you were gonna be nice to me ; u liedddd .....
*he walks around  then
J: Hang up on me.. hang up on me again; hang up on me ryan . hang up on me - *makes loud breathing sound* i mean, i don't wanna live like this anymore.  this this sucks
J: Hang up Ryan
R: Why should I hang up?
J: You said you would be did  jerked off then you decided
R: Not yet
J: Ryan?
R: What?
J: Do you realize now that you don't love me?
R: What do you mean?
J: Do you realize now that you don't love me?
R: What do you mean?
J: You love a whore?
R: No
J: So do you realize that you really don't love me?
R: Yes
R: I'm gonna hang up now I gotta use my hands
J: How could you do that to me you son of a bitch? -.. How coul d you do that to me uh more important *breaks up to me * how could i *stopped

Selected Quotes

   
 
EVERYTHING YOU SAID IS A LIE
 

 
 

—Jenna, ad infinitum

   
 
I want to cut my face
 

 
 

Jenna

   
 
No you messed up! It was you.
 

 
 

—Jenna

   
 
My threads are doing iron man numbers
 

 
 

—Ryan

   
 
I'm on an internet high right now I don't need to jerk off.
 

 
 

—Ryan

   
 
PLEASE RESPOND TO ME!!!
 

 
 

Jenna

   
 
Do you want to hear me punching myself?

No I heard it before....
DO YOU LIKE IT?!
No, its old

 


 
 

—lol

Previous Quote | Next Quote

Responses

   
 
jenna, gimme a call, ill treat u right
 

 
 

dbznerd1

   
 
This guy sounds like a loser and a douche
 

 
 

—OldManMcCain

   
 
@OldManMcCain Maybe... Maybe... BUT HIS THREADS ARE DOING IRON MAN NUMBERS SO HE DOESN'T CARE!
 

 
 

—critic659

   
 
I guess this is why they call him "Ryan Dicks" ROFL xD
 

 
 

You

   
 
Send her my way, I'll play her pussy like a flute and make it all better. :3
 

 
 

—Oyaji291

Previous Quote | Next Quote

Other Videos

Ryan's most viewed video, "Cheerleader"
   
 
i am dancing seductively for every girl on the internet do u care

please send this to girls that u know my gf just broke up with me and i lack fundamental human feelings again
 


 
 

Pix

See Also

External links


:3

Iron Man Numbers is part of a series on:
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