From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Israel (Hebrew: ישראל Arabic:
فلسطين), also known as , is an illegal settlement of atheist Jews in the middle of Arabia. It was founded after WW2 by kikes who felt religiously compelled to part the waters of the Atlantic Ocean, create a house of slaves for indigenous people, and one-up Hitler. They are waiting for the 4 million Palestinians to reproduce like bunnies because they don't want to be second place in genocide.
As one would expect of a Jewish state, Israel is the most overtly criminal nation in the world. It was founded by butthurt Jews who believed that it was God's (who they don't believe in) will that they have a Promised Land, and who wanted Jews to have their own country to serve as a safe haven from all the world's hate. Now here's a thought; Maybe if they stopped lobbing bombs at little kids playing in the street, and cured their addiction to money and power over others, (apparently, controlling the economy of one country isn't enough for them) they wouldn't need a safe haven in the first place! It's currently a land ruled by fascist assholes like whose , bombing hospitals (see also: motherfucking war crimes), and nuking the shit out of Iran. Ironically, Israel is the most anti-Semitic state in the world, with 95% of non-Jewish Semites viewing Israel as the biggest threat to their security. 
The Jews there are constantly involved in wanton mass-murder of their Arab neighbours, engaging in such anti-lulz as indiscriminate war crimes involving use of banned weapons in densely-populated areas, as thoroughly documented by testimonies from their own soldiers. Some argue this occurred as a result of decades of mass fapping to Holocaust Porn, causing the Chosen People to internalize an eroticized narrative of genocide and act out their own Holocaust fantasies onto their poor Palestinian and Lebanese neighbors.
When Israel comes under criticism for atrocities against Palestinians, they are quick to invoke the atrocities of Hitler as protection. Yes, Israelis are so fucked up they bow to Hitler for protection while they kill Palestinian children. They claim that the Messiah has not come but secretly believe in Hitler the Christ, through whom, along with washing in the blood of a Palestinian baby, all our sins are forgiven. All you have to do is accept Hitler as your personal savior.
Israeli sharpshooters always aim for the arms when putting down intifada riots. Due to the fact that Slurpee machines require two hands to operate properly, no 7-11 stores exist in all of Israel. Their loss.
However, enterprising Jewish businessmen funded the production of machines capable of turning Palestinian babies into Slurpees. This is in full accordance to international law, as Palestinians do not share the same rights as humans. The Jew kikes of Israel control 75% of the world's money, not for investing purposes though, they just like the smell of it. Vast quantities of money is also needed to buy the gold they wear around their neck known as Jew gold.
Teh Jews also have to chop off teh cocks. Therefore causing 65% of kikes to die alone. This increases their love for Jew gold and raping teh Terrorists with their bulldozers.
Favorite pastimes include: World Domination,and .
- anti-Semitic - anyone that doesn't hate the Arabs as much as the Zionists, especially other Jews. And they don't even know their own etymology Merriam-Wester's Semitic
- free of bias - organized cabal on Wikipedia
- peace - covert assassination of foreign officials
- President Netanyahore is talking about hemorrhoidic clear red lines he got during NAM in Iran.
- Recently, Israel has been trying to provide Jewenstine, the mascot and god of the Heebs, with some more Lebensraum in the Lebanon. Much pwnage has occurred.
- Last Thursday, Israel waged war on Lebanon's international airport, causing major delays.
- For at least 100 years, organizations like Hamas and Hezbollah have been blowing themselves up because they are attention whores.
- Jews did Beirut as performance art to protest Holocaust denial -and for the lulz- after they fell hard for the classic Hezbollah troll of kidnapping IDF soldier boys.
- Israel is performing a Gaza War with the Hamas Rulers.
- They're gonna attack Iran and start WW3. This time the lollercaust will be Nuclear.
- Palestine was about to buttrape the filthy kikes, but ran of lube and called a cease-fire instead.
- HOLY FUCKING SHIT-SMEARED DICKNUGGETS THEY THREATENED MILITARY ACTION AGAINST RUSSIA
- Beware the Sheeny Curse.
When the Allies advanced towards Berlin in the late 1944, they discovered the horrifying truth of Hitler's pet project in the German extermination camps. Millions of Jews, suffering from diseases, barely walking from hunger and malnutrition, humiliated beyond human by their torturers, but - and here comes the horrifying part - still alive, poured out of gates of Auschwitz, Birkenau and other places. Something needed to be done about it because they didn't want those heebs ending up in America somehow.
Fortunately, the Nazis had some allies that were still not defeated, and too retarded to pose any military threat to the civilized world: the Sand Niggers. So most of the Jews were sent to Palestine, and the Western World hoped that four hundred million of these dune coons would quickly push four hundred thousand Jews into the sea once the British left the area.
Unfortunately, the stupidity of the Arabs was severely underestimated, resulting in a human-centipede-like chain of epic fail, like in 1967 when Syria, Jordan and Egypt attacked Israel simultaneously and were defeated in six days. The result was establishment and expansion of a Jew state for the first time in at least 100 years. Thus, in solving the Jew problem, we are basically back to square one.
The premature decision to invade Germany, and subsequent underestimation of how retarded Arabs were, made Roosevelt die from guilt, and ruined Churchill's career after the war. Stalin managed to avoid the blame until after his death. Some argue that the Cold War was a direct result of Western Allies and the Soviet Union blaming each other for not fully actualizing the Final Solution. This strife naturally fueled the rebirth of the Jew economic conspiracy.
—Zionist Theodor Herzl proof
Although killing sandnigger Shitlamists is always funny, Israel sort of ruined all of the lulz due to Semitic faggotry and unlimited access to sum hutt Muslim-genocide action. If a toothless Arab peasant-ass from nowhere fires over 9,000 fireworks on some shitty Jew colony in the possession of crippled jam-producers the Israel military is immediately obliged to smash-fuck the shit out of every terrorist boy-lover on Gaza with 1337 tank rockets 4nd 35g4 1n1=4n7ryx. This of course is not even remotely fair since all their precious jewgolds come from the Americunt government, which in turn only gets nigger-riots and a reliable ally, that at the slightest sign of danger will eat their own children along with everyone they swore allegiance to.
Unlike Zionist conspirators in Europe, U.S.A., everywhere - the Israelis are obliged to show extreme force at any given chance as mentioned above. Whether this is because ghettos used to oppress rat-folk are their natural habitat or that they are just so comfortable with the whole world behind their back is a matter of debate. What is known however is that this lulzy fagnocide will go on forever or until the Arab species are extinct along with the state of Israel and everyone will go home and have a good hearty laugh about it. If nukular lolocaust fails however see Catnarok.
And the best part? No country spies on the U.S. more than Israel. When a diplomatic thaw with Iran was arranged in 2015, it was reported that convicted spy Jonathan Pollard was being released -- in an attempt to placate Israel. Pollard had supposedly taken tens of thousands of classified U.S. documents and passed them over to heebland. --Jonathan Turley sez
The other Wikipedia Jews
Following the example of JIDF, GIYUS, and Megaphone, filthy Semites are immigrating en masse to Wikipedia in order to sway discussion and wikitruth to their favor. It comes as a surprise to absolutely no one that Wikipedia, the online encyclopedia that anyone can subvert, has become the world's foremost Zionist shill.
- Jewish Internet Defense Force and how to edit Wikipedia
TOW and Israel's secret weapon
Fittingly for the world's most evil nation, the Jew Government enjoyed cordial relations with the world's most evil man, the Elvis Presley of kidfuckery and corpsefiddling, Jimmy Savile.
However the Jews of the Jew Wikipedia have been busy at their Jew business, Jewing the entry on Israel of all references to Savile and therefore leading unsuspecting readers away from the unpalatable truth that the Jew Government played host to the stellar-scale sex offender.
Whether or not Savile took part in Jew rituals involving drinking the blood of sacrificed Christian babies remains unknown, but it's not unlikely given their Jew foulness and in any case Savile would certainly have relished the opportunity to have a fresh child corpse at his disposal. No doubt the Jews laughed and rubbed their sickly, greasy hands together as they watched.
It is almost certain that the Jews' appalling record of managing to kill Sand nigger children with their high-precision missiles provides further playthings for the late Savile's international paedo-ring.
Hans Herzl, Son of Theodor Herzl, was a closeted Muslim
Israel and flame wars
If you get involved in a flame war relating to the Israeli-Palestine conflict and want some Zionists on your side, consider inviting the following people.
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- An unlisted AIPAC video for Israel - Give us your shekels goyim. Good goy.