It was my privilege
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
A recent meme on tumblr, which has sadly also carried over to /pol/ and /b/: "It was my privilege". Basically, a satire of the typical feminist habit of seeing male privilege and oppression everywhere.
>at convience store >getting grub >the female clerks were trembling while checking out each of their privileged customers >it's my turn >she starts scanning my items with tears welling up in her eyes >she finishes scanning and starts totalling up my amount >before she could get the privilege to utter a single syllable, I whip out my Privileged Mastercard >"Charge it." >tears, mucus, and saliva is streaming down her face by the fact she's constantly being oppressed >every male in the store is furiously rubbing their crotches and beating their chest, grunting >she's not privileged enough to use the card reader under this oppression >I reached my hand out to hold the reader steady >"Go ahead." >She looks at me in shock; the oppression is almost too much to bear >the males are now banging their crotches against the shelves, screaming >she swipes the card >She hands me my receipt and said, "T-thank you." >I looked at her in the eyes, while signing the receipt >"It was my privilege." >I grabbed my bag and headed towards the door >A female, holding her infant son, is walking towards the door, as well >I immediately opened the door for her >She becomes just as shocked as the clerk was, earlier, in the oppression that just happened >I stared right in her eyes >"After you." >Her infant son screams and rips her blouse open to receive his hourly privileged milk >Tears were streaming down her face >"Thank you." >I leaned close to her ear, smelling her hair in the process >"It was my privilege."
Laptop at Airport
See a woman using her laptop in the airport I notice it has stopped working My oppressive male heart fills with sadistic malice towards her I walk up to her, grinning with savage glee Shock and horror fills her face as she sees me looming over her Her eyes brim with tears She cowers and begs “P-please don’t, sir…” My engorging penis begins to rip the seams of my pants as I leer and say “Pardon me, but I couldn’t help noticing you’re having computer troubles. If you don’t mind, I’m sure I could fix them.” Her eyes downcast, she mumbles “o-okay” I savagely take her computer and begin to fix the rather simple problem as tears stream down her face All the men around me begin laughing evilly and hooting like wild apes of Borneo, reveling in her oppression I hand it back to her, saying darkly that it should be working now Testosterone fueled ecstasy fills me as I watch her spirit crumble She weakly takes it from my strong male grip All the women in the airport are now forced on their knees from the oppression in the air Defeated, broken, she feebly sobs “Thank you” as the last of her independence disappears As I go to catch my flight, I smugly reply “It was my privilege”
Approaching the checkout at the supermarket Me and the woman also approaching the same counter notice each other I smile Her pleasant air quickly vanishes, face ashen "After you, please" My blood stirs slowly more Shyly she proceeds, against her will She can feel my pure masculinity completely in control of her actions All the other men turn and drop their shopping on the floor, massaging their penises through their trousers and yelling cat calls I touch her on the shoulder She stops dead, shaking, eyes lowered in awe of my dominance I can taste the gentle aroma of her fear My penis is hard like a rock "It was my privilege," I whisper softly in her ear She whimpers almost imperceptibly I lift my hand and she timidly proceeds, feeling dirty and abused
Doing some grocery shopping Walk through the store, notice a small woman stacking the shelves, farther down my aisle As I come near she falls from her stair as she tries to put something heavy on the top shelf, the goods going to the floor She notices me and shrinks back slightly before being paralyzed with fear Her eyes widen as I come closer, pupils shrinking as I reach for the goods Her lip trembles as I pick up the box and put it on the top shelf, no stair required I reach my hand out to help her up, and tears well up in her eyes “T-thank y-you”, she says, as she takes my hand and gently pull her to her feet Men are grinning at me, someone starts the slow clap, as all the other women look at her with scorn and pity at the same time I bare my teeth in a mischievous grin, and she begins to sob softly I continue my shopping under raucous applause “It was… my privilege.”
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|It was my privilege is part of a series on Tumblr.