From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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|This race needs a serious clean up|
Somebody should do something about it.
With Jews, you lose!
|Other Names||Kikes, Hebes, Hymies, Yids, Bankers, Financiers, Parasites, Leeches, Nose Niggers, Gold Niggers, Big Noses, Oven Magnets, Oven Dodgers, Gasbags, Sheenies, Swindlers, Sociopaths, Criminals, Firewood, Arabs in Denial, Thieves, Moes, Freemasons, Reptilians, Vampires, Aliens, "The 1%", "The Illuminati", "The Man", Christ Killers, Soap Bars and filthy fucking scum who need to be wiped off the Earth|
|Characteristics||Big hooked noses, beady eyes, sloped foreheads, a flattened rear skull, evil grin, evil-looking eyes, curly, red hair, thick eyebrows, inhumanly high intelligence (to deceive you out of everything you ever held dear), manipulative instincts, the ability to scream "anti-semitism!" in 66 different languages, a persecution complex, backstabbers|
|Surnames|| lev-, lib-, loeb-, wise-, fox-, silver-, gold-, platin-, -stein, -berg, -witz, -sky, -man.
Example 1: Steinbergowitzsky.
Example 2: Platinumstein.
|Criminal activities (excerpt)||Moneylending, False pretenses, taking down megaupload, animal abuse, murder, spam advertising, removing free porn downloads, brainwashing, making products shittier, molesting children, fraud, being Sarah Silverman, sexual assault, treason, promoting international conflicts, warmongering, war crimes, ethnic cleansing, World Domination|
|Organizations||USA, ADL, JIDF, JDL, IH, Hasbara, MEMRI, FED|
|Previous Quote | Next Quote|
✡Jews✡ are a species of Vampirical, Parasitic Alien Psychopaths who tried to control and interbreed with Humanity in their quest for universal domination. These parasites created the brainwashing cult called "Judaism", also known as "The Worship of Money" and "Ritual Infant Sacrifice", and in the Dark Ages were the inventors of the two most Anti-Intellectual religions in the world: Christianity and Islam. Some famous Jews include: everyone who works on the banks, in television, in movies, in radio and in print media. Jews have trolled, scammed, ruined, pillaged and destroyed every single civilization on the face of the Earth. This is why in the dictionary the verb Jewing also means to troll, lie, decieve, con, fool, steal and manipulate others for profit.
Judaism was the world's first master race theory. The Jew religion teaches that Jews are the Chosen People of God and that there is a sacred mystical quality to Jew DNA that makes them different from the rest of humanity; essentially admitting they were Aliens. In olden times, Jew prophets would, under the command of YHWH, frequently lead the Jews on genocidal rampages against neighboring populations, and even today leaders in the Jew state of Israel often cite Jewish religious ideals to justify their ongoing genocide of sandniggers. Judaism ironically found its mirror-image inversion in the anti-Jew Aryan racialism of the Nazis. But this is all bullshit, since there's no pure Jewish left as they all mixed with white people and slavs, while also experimenting to create the ultimate Slave Race by forcing our own Human females to mate with severely retarded wild animals.
Despite only being 0.19% of the world's population, Jews control 99% of the world's money. (See: Rothschild, Warburg, etc.) The only nation's whose money is not issued by a Rothschilds bank are Iran, Iraq, and North Korea. Noticing anything there?
They also control the media, the banks, Facebook (as Polandball learned the hard way with multiple bans for Nazi content), LiveJournal's porn, craigslist, Stratfor, textbook publishers, music (especially Pop Music), gold, and diamonds. And no, we're not fucking joking about this. If you don't believe that Jews control everything, just look up a list of Media Jews or finance Jews on Google. Or just look at the always disproportionate number of Jewish names in the governments of the West. Case in point, Roman Polanski and and Jeffrey Epstein got off without serious punishment for raping little girls (as recommended in their holy book, the Talmud), something a goy would have done serious pound-me-in-the-ass prison time for. The Jews use the money to fund their militarized colony of Israel, a Jewish state created in the Middle East, which Jews consider the Promised Land. The Arabs don't think so, so The Kike Reich has fought many wars, and has turned the Jews into a warrior race as well as a scummy thieving one. Basically, the only part of the world that's not controlled by the Jews is Asia, because the Muslims don't tolerate their kike bullshit and the only way for Jews to hold them down is to send the Israel Defense Forces to buttfuck them, and the Chinese are the only race with potential to out-Jew the Jews and actually threaten them.
Jews are well known for being filthy hypocrites. For example, they deny the right of other religitards to practice their own shitty and barbaric rituals and then go on a daily penis-cutting spree, in the name of their
Jews were the inventors of Capitalism, created when Christian Europeans threw away their morals and decided to embrace Jewish practices like usury (see: John Calvin). Jews were the first group to create a sophisticated banking system, which they used to finance the Crusades in order to pit Christians and Muslims (both adhering to religions derived from Judaism) against each other to kill as many people as possible in a macabre human sacrifice to YHWH. Karl Marx, however, was a Heretic Jew, which was why he understood money so well, and decided to be all rebellious and edgy by inventing communism, when in fact he was tricked by another Jew, Moses Hess, the actual founder of Zionism, who ghost-wrote Marx's The German Ideology.
The Jew banking system was based on fraud and lies, so when it inevitably collapsed, the Jews just pwned as many people as possible by unleashing the Black Plague on them. Later, Jews economically controlled medieval Venice (the first modern maritime trade empire), and then crypto-Jewish merchants economically controlled the Spanish Empire, including the slave trade. Openly Jewish bankers orchestrated the Dutch Empire and founded Jew Amsterdam (later Jew York). Later the Dutch Jews moved to London because they thought it would be a better base for a global empire, and actually brought a Dutch nobleman, William III, with them, who they installed in a coup d'état (more like Jew d'état, amirite?) as new King of the British Empire. For hundreds of years, Jewish bankers controlled global trade through their bases in Jew York City and London. European colonialism was, through its history, essentially a plot whereby Jews could gain control of gold and diamond mines in poor countries and increase their stranglehold over the global economy.
At this point, the average person might say, "Wait a minute... that sounds like a conspiracy theory!!! One small race couldn't possibly be responsible for so much evil!" Well, here's a fun fact: in 1913, Jews seized control of America's sovereign power to control its own currency by establishing the Income Tax, and brought about the Federal Reserve system (a parasitic Ponzi scheme, modeled on the earlier Rothschild-dominated Bank of Cock-slime England, in which any dollar printed as legal currency is actually a dollar of debt owed, with interest, to the Jew-controlled private banks who own the shares of the regional Fed banks). The architect of this system was a Jew named Paul Warburg. Paul's brother, Max Warburg, worked directly under Hjalmar Schacht And His Dancing Monkeys in Germany and directed the currency policies of the Third Reich that allowed Hitler to build his war machine. What's truly fascinating is that the Warburg family has a long history of grand-scale fraud -- the family was originally named del-Banco, and was the most prominent banking family in the Republic of Venice during that state's period of imperial supremacy in the 1400s. Between that and their habit of eating pickled cunts, the whole thing is repulsive. It's somewhat stunning to contemplate that it's not merely impersonal monetary systems that have existed for so many centuries, but in fact for over 500 years the same Jewish families have overseen them and maintained economic dominance.
Jews also enjoy slicing up baby penises for fun, some even enjoy sucking them. See below.
Some suggest that we should use Jews instead of dogs to sniff out large amounts of concealed cash or anything else worth smuggling at airports due to their sensitive Jew noses. Obviously, this is a horrible idea, because the pay is bad, and the dirty Kikes would probably form a union and demand moar money, thus increasing the burden on taxpayers everywhere.
Jews have also founded their own country, Israel, which is their base of operations.
Jews have always existed, from the beginning of time. For once, the Scientologists and the History Channel (which, again were both made by Jews) were fairly accurate in their theory about ancient aliens only that they refused to point out who the real aliens out due to fear of being lynched by the Media for "Anti-Semitism." The Jew parasitic life cycle is basically the entire Alien franchise (which is entirely based on it, save for Prometheus, a shit movie created by Jews to mindfuck us) combined with Plague Inc Neurax worms. A Wandering Jew finds a planet full of potential hosts, preferably ones evolving intelligence such as humans and apes, and use their massive proboscis (the "Nose") to inject larvae into their brains. The worms hijack the brain ala Grand Theft Auto and have a mind control effect: the worms, innately programmed into lust for power, will disable all prefrontal moral conscience (which is why Jews are pathological liars) and force the host to develop the desire to possess and consume everything to feed the Jew-worms, with a side effect of making him retarded enough to accept bullshit such as reproductive self-destruction. In the end, once the parasites have matured towards metamorphosis they will emerge out, betray and kill the host because there is no such thing as a loyal and honest Jew. Using their massive "noses" adult Jews will drain all nutrition and resources from the planet and enslaving the hosts forced to "repay the Interest" to their "symbiotic" masters, until the planet becomes an utterly barren rock devoid of all life. Find another planet, then wash, rinse, repeat. Countless planets have been destroyed in this manner; no wonder our telescopes can't find any evidence of aliens anywhere, because the only other aliens are already here.
When the first ape ancestors of mankind crawled off his haunches and walked on two legs, they never knew such a concept as money because everything was traded in useful commodities, for example male chimpanzees can only demand service from females if they gathered enough fruit. However, just as the niggers was trying to stand up a Jew named Goldblatt taught them how to make use of a worthless yellow metal known as "gold" thus forever indebting the Human Genome in millennia of labour to serve the Alien for the sake of a shiny rock. However, Mankind is also unique for having the most interesting of history when it comes to his relationship with the Alien, since the Human, unlike countless other biospheres destroyed by Jew parasitism, developed numerous instances of Resistance and Immunity.
The first Jew on Earth was known as Cain, the First Murderer, who killed his human stepbrother Abel out of jealousy. Abel was always the more diligent of the brothers, and due to this Cain, consumed by Unwarranted Self-Importance, slaughtered him and was cursed to wander the world for all eternity; this is where we get the concept of the "Wandering Jew." The Wandering Jew managed to date-rape a feminist demoness named Lilith to give birth to Abraham, thus starting years of profiteering. Through their entire history, the Jews have always been wandering because sooner or later in whatever country they lived in, humans will be fed up by their lying, scheming, theiving ways. They wandered, from Mesopotamia, along the sea, running a lucrative grain and white slavery business for a while, ultimately settling in Egypt. The wise Pharaohs and hard-working farmers of Egypt waged a massive uprising against the foreign usurpers and speculators and sentenced them with indentured servitude. In response, the Jews bred the super-Jew, Moses. Egypt, once the wealthiest and most technologically advanced superpower of the world, was utterly annihilated by the mutant plagues bioengineered by Moses, including a level 99 mass death spell which took a genocidal toll on the innocent Egyptian children (think of Atlantis but with more sand and diseases) leaving what was once a crown jewel of Mankind only nothing more than a complete shit hole inhabited only by unevolved simians. The murderous Jews escaped Egypt and plundered their way through the desert, finally settling in Canaan, which they called their "Promised Land" because their leaders said they heard voices in their heads telling them that. Upon settlement, the Jews mercilessly slaughtered Canaan's indigenous inhabitants, claiming that they were following commandments from God.
Some argue there was a bit more subtlety to it all than just this, however -- including a long history of internal Jew-on-Jew drama, mutual extermination and conflicts, well-documented in many unreliable sources, most notably in the Old Testament. To begin with, infamous Cain once killed 1/4 of the entire Jew population of his day at once. Then here comes Moses, their greatest prophet. Who, according to holy Bible, was bloodthirsty maniac:
He said to them, "Thus says the LORD, the God of Israel, 'Every man of you put his sword upon his thigh, and go back and forth from gate to gate in the camp, and kill every man his brother, and every man his friend, and every man his neighbor.'" — Exodus 32:27
Not only did he order sons of Levi to exterminate their brothers, but Moses had also established the world's first documented concentration camp, near the city of Kadesh, just after two years of wandering the desert and, unlike popular belief, Jews settled there for next 38 years of their so-called "desert wanderings". See Numbers and Deuteronomy books to clarify any details. Moses also had given Jews the infamous Ten Commandments, one of which says, "Thou shalt not murder" (Catholics changed it to "kill" but Jews originally had only "murder" that you can't do). There are, however, many exceptions to this Commandment, given by the jealous Jew-God himself:
If your brother, your mother's son, or your son or daughter, or the wife you cherish, or your friend who is as your own soul, entice you secretly, saying, "Let us go and serve other gods" ... you shall not yield to him or listen to him; and your eye shall not pity him, nor shall you spare or conceal him. But you shall surely kill him; your hand shall be first against him to put him to death, and afterwards the hand of all the people — Deuteronomy 13:6-9
It takes an austere scientist, a lot of thinking, analysis, and comparison to extract the horrible and unbelievable truth from this so-called Holy Scripture, of which the aforementioned examples are barely a scratch. Surprisingly, the central holy text of Judaism (of which the Old Testament is a rework) displays Jew leaders of ancient times and kings as organized crime leaders, psychotic dictators, demanders of interest on loans, merciless murderers, and masterful deceivers — all the traits Jewish leaders have successfully carried through millennia to our own day. Unlike Jews, other neighboring nations and their leaders are portrayed in a much more decent way. Generally speaking, the Old Testament mainly covers such topics as incestuous relationships, civil wars, religious intolerance, mass murders, dishonesty and greed of Jews. The Turn of the Millennium poarticularly revealed a shocking fact about Jews: they were not above betraying, torturing, raping and killing one of their own, preferably the least sociopathic for the sake of 30 cents.
Some time later, a self-taught biologist realised the truth of Jewish descent from Aliens and vowed to protect Humanity, especially after Germany was scammed to death by the Rothschild debt machine into Europe's Zimbabwe (a loaf of bread costs 1,000,000,000 Marks). He discovered that Jews had other uses besides being parasites: they, being saturated with space radiation, make excellent high-energy biofuel to end our energy dependence on dirty fossil fuels forever. Unfortunately, the Jewnited States were totally butthurt on losing their precious coal and declared war on the visionary inventor. Like Nikola Tesla, Hitler was forced into Dying Alone rather than be tried in a Kangaroo court with a Jew judge, jury, and lawyer.
There are currently roughly a few million Jews worldwide, of which about half live in Israel, which was created two years after the Holocaust, and subsequently beat back modernized Arab armies when it was only hours old. Ever since then it has been doing nothing but fight wars, while it secretly runs America through its Jew banker agents in New York. They are responsible for every major war. Israel's Mossad secret service is responsible for all the world's hunger, pain, misery, war, and terrorism. Its boldest operation yet was 9/11. There are even rumors being spread around by some people that Israel is secretly building a time machine to attack Pearl Harbor, blow up the Hindenburg, and invent slavery.
Israel's main job is to slaughter Arabs by the thousands, bomb their cities, and capture children for Passover where they will be tortured to death so that Jews can drink their blood as wine with their matzos, all while taking videos and provide cheap and easy Holocaust Porn for Jews everywhere. (Breaking News: Jews are only sexually aroused when there is blood and torture involved). It also serves as a safe haven for Jews everywhere, and the Mossad, kills anyone who wakes up to the truth. The Israeli Jew Government then says that "we neither confirm nor deny these reports" like fucking spam.
Jews are also known to troll host species for money until the hosts starve out of debt. Most of a Jew's features are made due to the fact that Jews are greedy sociopaths incapable of empathy with Humans. If you care enough to look at a Jew's feeding proboscis, the one on the Jew's face roughly resembling a human nose, it is insanely large, like an oversized fat mosquito from a B movie. This is due to the fact that air is free. It is theorized that if two or more Jews in close proximity to one another inhale deeply, that all life around them will be suffocated. If you see anyone diving for, staring at, or rubbing money, they are Jews and be sure to let them know.
It's worth noting that currency and the nose of the Jew also go hand in hand with one another. A kike's nose, is so large and powerful that it can act as some natural metal-detecting device that magnates and rips out all shiny objects and treasures from every environment they are in, such as coins, dollar bills and jewelry. So you lost your expensive wedding ring somewhere in your backyard when you were working out in the garage? Don't panic, and certainly don't waste your money buying one of those pricey metal detectors to snake for it; just grab the closest Jew available in your area! PROBLEM SOLVED.... but again, be sure to grab it before the Jew's nose absorbs and digest the gold as nutrition.
Jews, though a virulent species of parasite, remain fatally behind Catholics, Muslims and of course, the niggers when it comes to reproduction. This is because Jews need the blood of innocent children to be able to produce larvae, like mosquitoes. In some cases, desperate Jews will rape and eat their relatives and expect some welfare from it as well. Jews will do any means of predation or deception to get to supply of fresh kids to inject Jew-worms into them, which zoologists believe may be due to their large number of natural predators, e.g. every group of Arabs neighboring Israel. There are some, however, who speculate that modern condoms are simply too large for their penises and that contraception should be adapted as to accommodate our poorly-endowed friends. Despite this, their Arab cousins still breed faster, and Israel's Arabs are spawning larva faster than even India.
"Are them Jews really so bad?" you may ask... "After all, Niggers and Asspies are worse, rite?" You'd be wrong. Niggers are too retarded to be a major threat (unless you're watching too much Planet of the Apes) and if they dare chimpout then we can always smack them into submission, while Aspies will immediately die once forced to get a real life job. Jews, however, are highly intelligent and could have passed for decent human beings IF NOT for them using that same intelligence to make everybody's lives absolutely miserable and poor just for the sake of their egocentric profit, in conclusion, They actually DECIDE to be Jews. Otherwise, we Humans would accept them as part of our normal, productive, Civilized citizenry. If you're a Nigger or an Asspie, there's pretty much no hope for you but only Euthanasia. If you're a jew, you're just a fucking asshole, plain and simple. BTW The Jews recently admitted to harvesting the organs of the Gentiles for profit.
Who is a Jew?
Money ! Money ! Money ! Der Giftpilz by Julius Streicher.
Things are lively in Mr. Birkmann's 7th grade boys' class today. The teacher is talking about the Jew. The boys are fascinated.
"It is noon," he says. "We should summarize what we have learned in the past hour. What have we talked about?" All the children raise their hands. The teacher calls on Karl Scholz, a small lad in the front row. "We have talked about how to recognize the Jew."
"Good. Say more!"
Little Karl reaches for the pointer, steps up to the board and points at the drawings.
One can most easily tell a Jew by his nose. The Jew nose is bent at its point. It looks like the number six. We call it the Jew six. Many Aryans also have bent noses. But their noses bend upwards, not downwards. Such a nose is an eagle nose.
"Right!" says the teacher. "But the nose is not the only way to recognize a Jew..."
One can also recognize a Jew by his lips. His lips are usually puffy. The lower lip often protrudes. Jew eyelids are mostly thicker and more fleshy than ours. One can tell from his eyes that he is a deceitful person.
The teacher calls on another lad. He is Fritz Müller, and is the best in the class:
Jew are usually small to mid-sized. They have short legs. Their arms are often short, too. Many Jew are bow-legged and flat-footed. They often have a low, slanting forehead, a receding forehead. Many criminals have such a receding forehead. The Jew are criminals too. Their hair is usually dark and often curly like a nigger's. Their ears are very large, and they look like the handles of a coffee cup.
The teacher turns to the students.
"Pay attention, children. Why does Fritz say 'many Jew have bow legs', or 'they often have receding foreheads,' or 'their hair is usually dark'?"
Heinrich Schmidt, a large, strong boy in the last row speaks:
Every Jew does not have these characteristics. Some do not have a proper Jew nose, but have Jew ears. Some do not have flat feet, but Jew eyes. There are even some Jew with blond hair. But when one looks carefully, one can always tell it is a Jew.
"Very good," the teacher says. "And now tell me about other ways to tell Jew from Aryan. Richard, come up here!"
Richard Krause, a smiling blond lad, goes to the board. He says:
One can recognize a Jew from his behavior. The Jew moves his head back and forth. His gait is shuffling and unsteady. The Jew moves his hands when he talks. He "jabbers." His voice is often odd. He talks through his nose. Jews often have an unpleasant sweetish odor. If you have a good nose, you can smell the Jew.
Jewish ritual abuse exposed on Oprah
Other folktales describe of how Lilith captured Jewish babies in the night and ate them, and how she led young girls and young husbands astray. Although Lilith was demonized by early Jewish culture as a symbol of promiscuity and disobedience, many modern Jewish feminists see Lilith as a positive figure.
Jews practice animal sacrifice
They are torturing and killing these totally cute animals because they believe it makes their evil God happy! The things that Christians accuse Satanists of doing, the Jews actually do! In the Jewish Bible we can see that Cain and Abel, Moses and Abraham all perform animal sacrifice, and Jews today are doing the same!! Maimonides describes exactly how the sacrifices will occur on mass scale after the construction of the Third Temple. Look at how these Jews swing the chickens around their heads in a circle, what a twisted religious ritual! We must put an end to this sick cult!!!!
The Jews Did...
Jews did fiat money
So Mr. Goldberg and Miss Silverstein could gather all the JEWellery they want while you strive all your precious life to save some worthless pieces of paper.
Jews did Jesus
Yeah, really, think about it. There is already a religion that teaches how to excel in life and says only it's followers are human then somebody steps in with a religion that teaches how to be peaceful and obedient sheep. And we all know, Jesus is a Jew. Smack yourself if you fell for it.
Jews invented inbreeding
To keep their Chosen-to-be-spilled blood pure. Came at a heavy cost of becoming a cesspool of colorful genetic diseases. Seriously, there are over 9000 genetic diseases which predominately infect Jews. That's how their almighty matriarch, Brooke Greenberg, is born.
Jews did global warming
It is a well known fact that jews invented the automobile as a way to make make money and control the world by changing the climate in order to kill Christian babies. Jews will eventually find a cure to global warming which they will sell to get more of the world's money. Al Gore is controlled by the British royal family, which in turn is controlled by the jews. Gore showed his true colors by choosing Jew Lieberman, a Jew, as his running mate.
Jews discovered America
Some proud jewish historian claimed that Christoph Columbus was actually a Crypto-Jew looking for some kikish promised land to kill it's inhabitants and then set themselves on fire. This claim is supported by the fact it all happened during the great pwnage of jews, The Spanish Inquisition BUT denied by other facts like he was looking for it in the exactly opposite direction and he is currently resting in the bowels of the third largest church in the world.
Jews did the African Slave Trade
It's a known but widely unstudied fact that the Jews also largely contributed to the slave trade between Africa and early colonial America. Though the kikes always deny and sugar-coat it, the first European ships that sailed to Africa and traded black slaves mostly contained Jewish slave traders. You never learn about this part in history class because Jews always want to manipulate historical facts to keep their hands clean from blood in order for the whole world to take pity on their sorry asses for the Lollercaust.
Jews did Hiroshima
Ever wondered why the Japanese went from being a bunch of respectable civilised Badass moralfags that even Hitler admired as the Master Race, into the greatest cancer that is killing the Internet? Well blame an Autistic Jew (wow, what a deadly combination) named Albert Einstein and his fellow Jews in the Manhattan Project, who invented the Atomic bomb and therefore annihilated Six Million Japanese and irradiated the rest, forever giving Japs severe brain cancer, all in the name of "Science." After the Jewnited States nuked Japan to submission they introduced another disastrous WMD called Feminism which castrated all surviving Japanese. The result: an entire population of humans mutated into degenerated immature pedophiles who cannot reproduce (explaining their population collapse) unless it involves the brutal torture, rape and genocide of innocent children... exactly like how Jews celebrate Passover. Guro Hentai was invented when ronery Japanese were indoctrinated into Jewish reproductive practices such as Genital Mutilation, Crucifixion, amputations and drinking children’s blood like vampire wannabes. Conclusion: Jews also did Weeabooism.
Of course, the Jews were not satisfied with just that. The Hydrogen Bomb, the most powerful WMD on Earth, was born out of the manly love between kikes Edward Teller and Stanislaw Ulam. When ideologies of destruction fail, make tools of destruction.
Jews did JFK
Rumors say that Kennedy vowed to shut down the Federal Reserve and end the Vietnam war; the FR was (and still is) owned by Jews who wanted the Vietnam War to keep going. JFK was resistant and told those filthy, war-mongering kikes to fuck off. So the Jews killed JFK and set up an innocent Christian-loving white man named Lee Harvey Oswald, causing him to take the fall. Keep reading below for moar info!
Jews did Vietnam
One of the now-well established and undeniable facts of human history is that the Jews did, in fact, lure their puppet Americunts into the Vietnam War. The expert consensus can be summarized as follows:
Almost twenty years after pulling off the biggest global fraud in human history and now well established in their own militaristic country (stolen from the poor and innocent Arab inhabitants), Jews decided once again that they were not satisfied with being the richest and most powerful group of individuals on the planet, and proceeded to begin constructing their usual international con scheme to gain more money and power (as they do every 15 years or so).
Quickly and systematically, they took over two big Cabinet positions in the Kennedy administration (Abraham Ribicoff and Arthur Goldberg), which they were able to acquire pretty easily because of the fact that they owned the Federal Reserve. They proceeded to fool JFK into ramping up imperial efforts in Vietnam. This decision, and the war that resulted from it, immediately created an abundant source for importing South East Asian opium into the United States, where it could be picked up by the Zionist mafia. The war also simultaneously distracted the Americunts away from the actions of Israel, who were busy furthering their illegal expansion into Palestine.
The problem was that, when JFK, who was far smarter than any of his 20th century predecessors, realized this disgusting conspiracy, he began moving to remove American troops from Vietnam. Desperate and angry, the Jewish machine in America moved fast. They recruited the aid of old boy NWO factions to remove JFK from office. Thus, they, together, orchestrated the infamous assassination of the president, removing him from office and bringing a Zionist sympathizer (LBJ) into the office of presidency. To ensure that no one else found out about this, Jews like Martin Agronsky (who owned the newspaper industry) reported that Lee Harvey Oswald managed to kill JFK alone. LBJ continued this staged war, donating the blood of millions of Americans to further the gain of his Jewish buddies.
Later, when LBJ was forced to leave office, the Jews and NWO factions went on to assassinate the only anti-war candidate left, Robert Kennedy. They further milked this action by framing it on an Ay-rab and claiming he did it because of RFK's "pro-Israel" positions (which didn't exist). Unfortunately, they also later realized that Nixon was not suitable when he closed down the heroin trade and began to make peace with the Soviet Union under orders from the Jew Henry Kissinger. Finally, Gerald Ford came into office and ended the war on Zionist terms. And U.S. agents agreed to not bring up Israel's misconduct during the war, and let them also acquire nuclear weapons.
Jews did Communism, Objectivism, and your mom
Unless you have been living under a rock, you already know that Marx, Lenin, Rand and Freud were kikes. Fortunately Stalin came to save Mother Russia from kikes. Never will they stop devising pervasive ideologies.
Jews did science
Jews did Hollywood
Here, Marlon Brando suggests that Jews start caring about regular people's suffering. This will never happen.
Yes, after the Jews regained their homeland through completely legitimate means they quickly discovered that they had to share their squat of sand with a bunch of Arabs. Getting rid of Sandniggers was suddenly the only thing Jews could think about. At first, UN was sympathetic to the plight of the Jews, because, after all, no human should be forced to share things with Arabs. However, the U.N. soon realized that hating Jews is the only thing that can unite the peoples of the world. Besides that, Jews don't count as people. Therefore, helping Jews is simply against U.N.'s sacred dream of peace, love and cooperation between all humans on the planet.
Now alone and desperate, the Jews needed to do something in order to get the stone rolling in the right direction. The Elders of Zion had a meeting with George W Bush, and decided to organize a "terrorist" attack against the World Trade Center. The Arabs were easy to blame, because they hate America and the freedom it represents.
Simplifying matters even further, an obscure little Freedom-Fighting organization known as Al Queda, which just wanted to be recognized, was more than willing to take the blame. Their leader, Osama Bin Laden, was quick to issue a video claiming responsibility for the attacks that was sold to Fox, and Americans like the stupid retards we are believe everything on Fox News as the Absolute Truth.
The operation went much better than the Jews expected. Americans went into Brooklyn rage, first on Afghanistan and then on Iraq. When Obama came to power, attention briefly focused from the Middle East to North Korea, which was apparently going batshit insane, all of this no doubt a ploy by the Jews, although in summer 2009 Jews still took time to orchestrate attacks from Jew-created social networking sites in an attempt to topple the government of the arch-enemy of world kikery, Iran.
Once the United States Military is done liberating Middle East from the Arabs, the Jews will move in and lick off the topping of the oil on the cake; the U.S. will be left with the less tasty bottom, and a lot of Jew spit. In the aftermath, the Jews will once again have proven successful at manipulating the government, taking advantage of their control of media, manipulating foreign opinions, killing insane numbers of random people, and seizing a large amount of oil to fund their needs and make more Jew gold.
See also: Neocon
Jews did Michael Jackson
Some people believe that Jews did Michael Jackson. Their reasoning goes as follows:
1. Jewish monetary perverts drool at the billions accumulated by MJ. They say shalom and try to invite themselves to dinner and MJ says GTFO.
2. In addition, Jews at the CIA want to insert memes into his lyrics so that they can sell more dope to the listeners. MJ says gb2hell.
3. Jews insert bait children into his life. Indeed, some of the children's families were bff with their Jewish attorneys.
4. MJ smells trouble, and responds with lyrics. The unedited version of one of his lyrics went as follows (srsly). Jewish lawyers made him change it. The song is accompanied by a creepy music that gives you visions of Jewish shark lawyers trying to banhammer you for good.
He really fucked, He thought he really got control of me Somebody's out there, Somebody really wants to get me Kick me Kike me Use me Abuse me Sue me Jew me Take control of me
5. Jews find nothing funny and proceed with banhammering him. They fail at the banhammer but succeed in putting him out of commission.
Jews did Windows Vista
- have you ever lost anything on windows when it crashed? Maybe a program is not working for no reason? its teh jews.
- thanks to the jews, windows today is 70% crap, 25% useful stuff, 4% good stuff, 1% unknown
- Has 10^8 fanboys.
- Old versions like Windows 95, 98, and ME crash over 9000 times a SECOND. This was to prevent arabs from doing anything productive.
Many people think that Microsoft is controlled by Bill Gates (autistic goy) but in reality he is merely a tool within a Zionist front organization. Gates is just a programmer who believes he's really rich with his billions while the Zionists are balling with their trillions (control of global money supply). Currently Microsoft's CEO is a right-wing Zionist Jew named Steve Ballmer whose mission was to help destroy the quality of Microsoft's products and provide goyim with shitty computers that crash on every click made.
Jewish racial divisions
Race has huge importance in jewish culture. Race is the most important sign by which jew recognize other jews. Jew items, like yarmulka, david star necklace, Hava Nagila ringtones and unpronounceable surnames alsou is used by jews to identify each other.
Much like rodents, as depicted in this documentary, Judaism has spread throughout the world and is now considered endemic. According to tradition there of was one tribe of Africans that God anointed with human IQ. This sudden increase in intelligence led to this tribe to get the hell out of Africa ASAP, and so they branched out of Egypt to most if not all the World. Yes, there are Indian and Chinese Jews as indigestible that fact may be. There are even Scientist Jews on Antarctica, basically only North Korea is certified judenfrei (except for communism) which explains why it is Paradise. The whiter Jews are called Sephardim, while every other mongrel including niggers are kindly referred to as "Oriental". These two groups have in common that they share some common nigger origin and believe in God, while there's a third group of Jews, the Ashkenazis, that is only there for political reasons. It basically goes like: Askenazi - whitest-looking, Sepharadi - Arabs with Jewish religion (maybe the Cohen family is real Jewish, experts don't know), African Jews - black people who call themselves Jews for no reason (probably because that way they can call "THEMSELVES" instead of "THEMSLAVES").
Ashke means expatriate in Hebrew, and Nazi means Nazi. On April 30th 1945 the German Master Race discovered that their Leader had achieved Heroism. The newly reflective German Nazis understood the irony of it all and partnered with the only other people on Earth that were as Nationalists as them. Most surviving SS, as well as many loyal Nazi families, converted to Judaism and set up to conquer the world disguising themselves as their former enemies. This was the first time since the Khanate of Khazar that such a mass conversion to Judaism ever occurred. Ashkenazi jews have the highest IQ of all ethnic groups because they have convinced themselves to believe it and hence they are the master race. 90% of all jews, who control Hollywood, Tel-Avi-Sion, Wall Street and Zionist Occupied Governments are all Ashkenazi. Many Ashkenazi Jews were smart enough to move to America or Canada instead of Israel but those who went to Israel became dominant in politics and the economy. All of Israel's Prime Ministers have been Ashkenazi. As no one found Hitler's body, we believe that Hitler himself became an AshkeNazi and is now living in Israel, planing to kill his enemies. This group stands for 9 million out of 13 million Jews. The irony here is that that all jews from Russia and Poland consider themselves ash-keNazis. Ashkenazi Jews are the most hated yet they consider themselves the superior human beings and call every non-jew "Goyim" and any Jew who is not Ashkenazi, "Arsim". White Jews usually frequent /pol/ pretending to be Aryan White Supremacists to stir up fights between other whites.
The only difference between a Mizrahi and an Arab is their pervert look.
Sephardi Oriental Jews, or colored Jews (or Arab Jews), are from Africa and Asia (Asia is more than just China you know). Yellow-ish skin kikes (like Natalie Portman/Kim Kardashian) Sephardic is jew term for hispanics, and in Israel they are like Mexicans in USA. Incidentally, their swarthy hue made them easy to spot by the "blue-blooded" Inquisitors, which got them booted out of Spain and Portugal. Due to their lack of IQ, coloured jews only managed to emigrate to Israel. Unlike ashkenazis, they have not crossbred with Europeans and are therefore the purest of the Jews. Therefore, sephardic jews are more clanny and secretive than white jews, and a handful of families control all the gold. It is said, Sephardis have the gold, Ashkenazis have the brains. They
aren't ARE real Jews; which is why they are more violent and dumb. Some believe that they are the true Hebrews, but and genetic studies found that they aren't different from the Arabs at all. After all, they lived in Africa and Asia since the beginning of time. They are uneducated, gold thieves, and do the worst war crimes. YEAH, THEY'RE THE VERY SAME DARKY BREED WHO KILLED JESUS. When Hitler tried to genocide them, he stopped, as he realized that they are too worthless (as opposed to ashkenazis who, with their hybrid European intelligence and Semitic barbarism, were a legitimate threat to pure Aryan culture). Seeing them makes you want to scream "Hail AshkenaZitler!" as you see how they fail with everything, especially with copying Arabic music and food. If you come to Israel and see what looks like too many Arabs, remember that the original Jews were in fact Middle Eastern sandniggers as are the Mizrahim of today. While you could find a real Jew in your country, you won't see any difference between a Mizrahi and a normal Arab in your country. They like having sex inside the family, that's why they so sick and dumb. Still, they are not the worst Jews...
During the late 1980s, the Israeli Government decided it needed less rebellious slave-labor and so it kidnapped a bunch of starving Ethiopians who were more than thankful to call themselves whatever the matza-givers told them. In Israel, Schwarzies are not just slaves, but the slaves, as they serve the official slaves, the Arabs. Even the 419 Niggers are converting to Judaism to avoid their barbaric Muslim and superstitious voodoo-loving Christian brothers.
There are also Indian Jews as well. These Negrah Jews are the worst race from the worst ethnic group. They are stinkier, poorer, and have the biggest noses. They used to be stolen from South Africa to Israel, they serve the official slaves, the Palestinians. Just like the Mizrahim, they aren't REAL Jews; they just became Jews because they were poor and greedy to more money. They are not only enemies to you, they are the enemies of the Jews themselves. If you hate the Jews in your country, wait to see the monkey Jews in the shitland, Israel. The real Jews named them "Ashvartze Hayis" - black animals. ENGLISH MOTHERFUCKER, DO YOU SPEAK IT?
Absolutely dick, because Jews are just Arabs with
a different God the same God. Lol, stupid religion.
The Jews wrote some of the oldest fanfic still in existence, which is alternately called the "Old Testament" and the "Tanakh." Based on these writings, they obviously hate homosexuals and steal cocks. Sometimes as psychotic, violent and convoluted as a Shaw Brothers/Tarantino collaboration, the "Old Testament" AKA the Jew Testament is filled with acts of naked misogyny and barely-suppressed faggotry that would make any feminist instantly livid, as well as multiple counts of mass murder and homophobia akin to that of their future Teuton oppressors, partially redeeming this otherwise Messiah-denying lot of hook-nosed bean counters. Also, unleavened bread consumption, hallucinating burning vegetation, daring HJIC Abraham to knock up some Egyptian harlot to create Israel's future "enemy"... the Jew Testament is full of hours of family-safe drama and lulz. Don't forget the missing foreskins!
This is what Jews actually believe:
- Menahoth 43b-44a. A Jewish man is obligated to say the following prayer every day: "Thank you God for not making me a Gentile, a woman or a slave".
- Baba Mezia 114a-114b. Non-Jews are not human. Only Jews are human ("Only ye are designated men").
- Baba Mezia 24a, Sanhedrin 57a, Baba Kamma 113a: Jews may lie to, steal from, cheat, kill and rob non-Jews.
- Rosh Hashanah 17a . Christians and others who reject the Talmud will go to hell and be punished there for all generations.
- Sanhedrin 55b. A Jew may marry a three year old girl (specifically, three years "and a day" old) and/or rape a gentile.
- Kethuboth 11b. When a older Jew has intercourse with a girl it is nothing because her virginity will grow back.
- Sanhedrin 59a: A goy who studies the Talmud is liable for death.
- Gittin 70a. The Rabbis taught: "On coming from a privy (outdoor toilet) a man should not have sexual intercourse till he has waited long enough to walk half a mile, because the demon of the privy is with him for that time; if he does, his children will be epileptic."
Genital mutilation (circumcision)
The Jewish circumcision is the celebrated mutilation and barbecue (far as we know) of the male foreskin, symbolizing the jewgod's fetish for knives, mutilating children, and baby penis. The Jewgod is so obsessed mutilating penises that he curses the jew's foreskin, as it is said that any jew with a foreskin may actually enjoy sex and pleasure his woman. This is of course at odds with what the jewgod wants which is for jews to only worship him and give him money. Genital Mutilation is usually inflicted by a "mohel", a Jew who enjoys fondling and cutting baby penis.
Real hardcore jews suck the blood from the bleeding baby's penis. Sometimes the jew-larvae even dies from Herpes passed on to the infant from the mohel. (Seriously!)
The most important difference between Judaism and Catholicism: in the Jew religion, child molestation by religious elders occurs out in the open in front of everyone with the parents laughing and smiling.
Jews in denial
Keeping kosher: An introduction for beginners
Jews follow dietary laws given to them by their God Whose Name Must Not Be Spoken, because they've forgotten how to pronounce it (modern scholars believes it was either Yud-Hey-Vav-Hey (YHVH), Jehovah, or Cthulhu). The kosher, or "kraut," laws are voluminous and complex, though the basics include:
- Not eating the flesh of certain "forbidden" animals (such as pigs).
- Ensuring that those animals that are killed for food be killed in a ritually sanctified fashion.
- Not consuming meats, in combination with dairy products. The Jews thus despise cheeseburgers and, and accordingly. What's life without a cheeseburger?
- Not consuming grape products, like wine, that are manufactured or touched by non-Jews.
- Eating Aryan babies, usually at Passover and often with a delightful light sauce and table wine.
- Avoiding Zyklon Knishes like the ten plagues of Moses.
- Never eating anything prepared using utensils or dishes that have been used to serve non-kosher food. No, seriously. Like I'm supposed to buy new plates so your Jew ass can eat your slop. Get back in the oven.
Contrary to popular belief or what the Jews tell you, Kosher meat is not the meat from ritually slaughtered animals. What else would they do with all those foreskins they slice off babies? The kikes know that there's money to be made from that meat. It's really not how the Kosher meat is made, it's what the Kosher meat is made with.
Slurpees and Kashrut
The good news for Jews is that nearly all Slurpees are kosher! Pareve even! Except for Diet Pepsi, which is only Kosher Dairy as it has an anti-freezing sweetener derived from milk. And the Piña Colada, not Kosher at all; stay away Jew.
Converting to Judaism
Converting to Judaism has several advantages. You are entitled to an Israeli passport that can prove handy if the FBI brands you as a pedobear. You may also be entitled to a resort like-villa in occupied Palestine. A little paperwork can also get you some German Holocaust reparations.
Alas, its not that easy. Realizing that Israel would be flooded by poor people from Zimbabwe and Mexico, Jews never encourage conversion. Even dark coloured Ethiopian and Ugandan Jews are laughed at as half-asses in Israel. If you inquire about converting, Jews would direct you to join Jewish scam-business cults such as Scientology and Jehovah's Witnesses instead. Bear in mind that if you join these groups to get Jewgold, you will be the one paying it instead!
How to troll Jews
Reading this article may convince you that the Jews are the fucking God-tier of the art of trolling, because unlike the Internets which ruined online celebrities the kikes have ruined entire civilisations and made a lot of humans completely butthurt. However, ED is no stranger to epic flame wars involving trolls trolling trolls, just go on 4chan for example, post some "controversial" topic (e.g. MLP, Islam, the Donald, or any other forced memes) and both sides will post slander at each other to infinity until the mods decide to delete fucking everything. Even if you're not a professional counter-troll like Hitler or years-seasoned EDiots, there are small ways for even you, the little poor man whose money has been trolled away by Jews, to help in our counter-trolling efforts.
|Jew-baiting for n00bs|
- Ask them to explain to you why they killed jesus
- Remind them that the Holocaust didn't happen.
- Slowly eat non-kosher food infront of them
- If you go to a jew's house on a friday night, turn on all electrical items (they will love you for it!!!!!!!!!!!)
- Scream "Death to Israel" in public
- Tease them about shaving
- Create Overwatch porn
- Get a tattoo of random numbers on your arm, and tell them to get one!
- Tell him that you want to see nude picture of his wife online
- Take a kipper off his head and throw it like a frisbee
- Keep Adblock on and NEVER (AND BY ALL MEANS NEVER), NEVER, NEVER, disable it.
- Don't watch the Electric Jew. Better yet, don't buy one in the first place
- Pirate movies, music, and porn (good porn) and then re-upload it so that it is readily and easily available for viewing and/or downloading.
- Share a premium account for any download site.
- Use Download Helper too.
- Go to a kosher bakery and ask "how much does the hallah cost"?
- Scream "Heil Hitler"
- Remind them that it was Enrico Fermi that actually discovered Relativity. Einstein, while working at the patent office, merely copied it.
- Ask them why they've been kicked out of every country they've ever lived in.
- Ask them why, if they are the chosen people, they're so damn ugly?
- Question them on why the produce hundreds of "blacks on blondes" porn, but no "Palestinian on jew" porn.
- Ask them why there are over 9000 museums about the Holocaust, but none regarding the Hungarian tragedy that resulted in perhaps twice as many deaths.
- Point out that the only inner-party Soviet communist that wasn't a jew was later purged when the jews came to power.
- Inform them that eating kosher makes perfect sense. 5000 years ago in a desert with no refrigeration.
- Read them Matthew 7:23, "And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity." And ask them if maybe, just maybe, he was referring to the people that crucified and killed him.
- Don't circumcise yourself or your sons.
- Show them the box office receipts for Mel Gibson's The Passion of the Christ.
- Point out that the most popular character on South Park is Cartman, in all his jew-hating, Hitler loving glory.
- Ask them that why, if they're so great, how come they don't accept Jesus as their personal lord and savior?
- Remind them they are, "The people that shall dwell alone". Then ask them why the fuck are they in our country, instead of dwelling alone.
- When introduced to someone jewish say, "Jew huh? Well, tick tock!"
- Ask them if Jehovah was cool with Jepthatah human-sacrificing his daughter
- Ask them how they get their hair like that. Bonus points if they have a Jewfro.
Things the Jews hate
- Taking away their Jewgold.
- Freedom of speech (especially if it doesn't suit their own agenda).
- Questioning the Lulzercaust.
- Working hard for their money.
- Eric Hunt (Holocaust denier).
- Zyklon B.
- Physical labor.
- The Germans.
- David Irving.
- Ernst Zündel.
- Minimum wage.
- The Muslims.
- Matzohs with swastikas.
- Fighting their own wars.
- Animal welfare.
- VNN forums.
- Gas ovens.
- White people.
- Paper money.
- Praising Hitler.
- Mel Gibson.
- Shaving their facial hair.
- Criticizing Israel.
Why Jews suck
- They're Jews (DUH!).
- They killed Jesus.
- The killed Tupac.
- They lie, cheat and deceive.
- They always whine about the Holocaust.
- As said before, they make up a small percentage of the population but control the world's wealth.
- They steal your money.
- They invented taxation.
- They are ugly.
- They always kiss up to the niggers and fags.
- They made Justin Bieber famous
- They always bitch about how "oppressed" they are.
- They never work.
- The men have small dicks.
- They did WTC.
- They eat shitty food.
- The women are usually golddigging whores.
- Their noses are too big.
Fun facts about Jews
|Does the title of this section imply that some facts about Jews are not fun?|
- Jews did WTC
- 12 of the 19 richest people in America are Jews. (Seriously!)
- All 8 major Hollywood studios are run by men who just so happen to be Jewish. (Seriously!)
- Republican Party: 25% funded by Jews. Democratic Party: 50% funded by Jews. Bend over, Uncle Sam.
- The Jews are at war with the Internet primarily over piracy. Often files, YouTube videos, and other things are removed or muted under the guise of "Copyright Infringement". Their largest victory was their pwnage of Megaupload.
- After the collapse of the USSR, Jew-controlled IMF ordered Russia to impose "shock therapy" and privatize all state assets for benefit of their Jew criminal friends. As a result, during this period, 7 billionaires controlled fully half of all Russian wealth. 6 of these 7 billionaires were Jews. Compare: 4 of 6 Ukrainian billionaires have been Jews. (Seriously true fact. Look it up, faggot)
- Jews will ABUSE and USE any gentile as much as possible.
- They want you to believe that they're pushing gay marriage. Because we all know that the Jews are such a freedom loving people right?
- The jews killed jesus (1 Thessalonians 2:15-16) KJV
- The reason Jews did Jesus is because in Jew-religion, the penalty for bad behavior is to get sent to a dreary place for about ten minutes, during which your sins are purged and you're cool with God again. This version of 'Hell' is no deterrent to sinful behavior, as one glance at the history of the Jews will confirm, and that's the way they like it. Since Jesus was telling Jews that there was a permanent and painful penalty for leading an immoral life, this would have meant that the Jews would have to behave like decent human beings, so he had to be killed before he convinced anyone.
- They also own Filesmonster, that's why free users can only download files as multipart archives.
- Jews and lawyers are the real vampires
- Jews invented Copyright infringement so that they can sue and arrest 12-year-olds on the Internet for uploading videos onto JewTube. They also use this to delete all the good videos not only off of YouTube, but also off of other tube-sites.
- Jews are the gypsies of the world
- They're the ones who almost destroyed this website.
- All college age Jew Girls walk around with a violin case because they think it'll make their family's think they're Miri Ben-Ari and they think it'll make guys think they're interesting enough to approach.
- Jews are the reasons you have to pay taxes, since they've lobbied in 1913 to pass the Federal Reserve and the 16th Amendment. And thanks to their control of the media, they've successfully brainwashed Americans into loving taxes (despite their country being founded by tax-evaders).
- Jews made vampires gay (but they'll tell you it was Mormons!)
- Jews are hypocrites,malicious gossipers and backstabbers ( just ask Jesus)
- Jews love advertising. You know a site is run by Jews when the advertising is heavy. They also despise Adblock, and will not let you use their site if you have it enabled because they're greedy scumbags.
- They are all Antisemites because they hate the living shit out of the Arabs
- Jews are the ones taking down the free porn downloads and they also take down good videos off porn tubes leaving shitty videos and over-posted duplicate videos alone. They are also trying to take down the sites that the files are hosted on. THE JEWS MUST BE KILLED BEFORE ANY MORE ARE TAKEN DOWN!
- Jews profit the most from the "War on Drugs" and the criminalization of weed.
- Jews have been hated throughout history, but it was never their own fault. What a coincidence! They are always the victims and it's always the fault of the filthy Goyim.
- Jews have disgusting faces but they believe that they are the superior race.
- Jews know what's right for you, and aren't afraid to tell you so.
- Jews invented Black Friday
- Jews make pop-ups come up on you with some links on this site.
- Jews also own the biggest drug-dealing monopoly to ever exist. The parasitic, criminal, money-leeching Jews were even able to convince Britain, the most powerful country in the 19th century, to fight TWO major wars for them in order to legalize their maliciously profitable Opium monopoly. this allowed a bunch of no-good, criminal Jews to become the richest family in the world at time. Even to this day, Jews are the biggest and richest monopoly owners of unhealthy, dangerous illegal drugs!
- Although jews clearly are fabulous Jenga players
- If you do not support Jews or Israel, or if you like Arabs, you are a terrorist.
- Every single person ever to edit Wikipedia is a Jew (See The Wikipedia Jews).
- All Jews Are Inbread (oven joke or typo? who knows...)
- Jews are the only group of people in all of human history to ever be persecuted. They are the only race in all eternity to have a Holocaust done against them. Ever. Ever.
- Jews own all the banks and the majority of the world's financial and political assets and use these to advance the interests of Israel, and at the same time are advocating a worldwide internationalist Communist conspiracy which would destroy the world's capitalist establishment. This makes sense.
- Currently furries compare themselves to the Jews because Nazis are oppressing them. Along with everyone else.
- Tripping a Jew is considered good luck in Australian and New Zealand cultures, as is telling them to "Go have a shower", which nearly always results in lulz.
- Jews can shapeshift! Beware!
- GOD DOES NOT HATE THE JEWS!!! Such a claim is outrageous. Surely if he hated them he would have sent someone down to try & wipe them all out or something. (See Hitler.)
- Although no-one knows a Jews true appearance, we assume they look similar to, but maybe not exactly like furries.
- Jews are one of the very few mammals whose life cycle includes eggs. After the JEW EGG has been laid by the female, it can only be fertilized by a doctor or a lawyer.
- Jews eat Aryan and Arab young. One can wonder why, as they are not kosher, being pigs.
- Yaweh does not protect jews from bulldozers. Or anything really.
- All Jews know Jew-Jitsu, and aren't afraid to use it.
- Jews were the only people persecuted by the Nazis to get a free country out of it. As none of the other people persecuted during Hitler's European Tour got a free country they actually did quite well out of the Holocaust.
- Arabic, the language of the Quran, is the most commonly used semitic language. Therefore anti-semitism is closer to anti-islam than anti-judaism.
- The majority of the world's chubby, high maintenance girls are Jews.
- Jesus was hated by the Jews and the Romans even up to the point of Romans colluding with the untermech to kill him by nailing his hide to 2 planks of timber and transforming him into a kebab.
- Jews have nukes. Nobody dares fuck with them. Except Palestinians, armed as they are with stones, pointy sticks and their newly-developed bulldozer repellent.
- The Holocaust is completely irrelevant. Bring this up frequently whilst in the company of Jews. After all, it's hard to stay angry at someone who had just made you laugh.
- Snob pieces of shit that need to be sent to the furnace, right now
- Jews and Israel are intertwined. You cannot hate one without hating the other.
- Jews are known for their Jew gold, the bags of gold they carry around their necks.
- Jews are hogging the Holocaust
- Jews are so greedy, they won't even share the benefits of the Holohoax with the gypsies or the fags
- On average, an adult male Jew will consume over twice his own body weight in Palestinian blood each day
- Jews are never wrong, never guilty, and never responsible for anything.
- Jews drive Yom Kippur Clippers - cars that are known to stop on a dime and pick it up.
- In Jews' defense, at least they aren't furries
- Hitler proved that Jews must be furries after all.
- Furries or not, Hitler has the right idea.
- Jews are the most Trollable people on the planet, so they are excellent for beginner trolls or older and wiser trolls that just want some easy fun.
Moar facts about Jews
|Back by unpopular demand|
- Jews are not Jews. Really, they are the descendents of pagan nations that converted to judaism in order to feel important. What's even more amusing: the real descendents of the hebrews are the Palestinians, LOLZ.
- They requested the assassination of our lord and savior, Jesus Christ.
- They are subhuman. They are the scum of the Earth. When you talk about Jews, you're scraping the bottom of the barrel of humanity.
- Every Jew is a Holocaust survivor, when it is convenient.
- If they were cursed by God for over 2000 years, why is it us that has to put up with them?
- They're lying bastards. Jews were always lying bastards throughout their history. They're a filthy, dirty, disgusting, vile, criminal people.
- The Jews are not fighters, they have miserable bodies. They're cunning like rats.
- Jews are anti-social, destructive, intolerant, mean-spirited, deceitful, et cetera. They wish to destroy, rule and kill, rob whoever gets in their way. To facilitate them getting what they want, they have developed a perverted, unnatural, destructive, evil lifestyle. Even though they live off the non-Jews as parasites, they still hate them and wish to destroy them. Jews hate nature and the natural order, because it's pure and beautiful, and also because it's bigger and stronger than they are, and they feel that they can not fully control it. Nature's beauty and harmony stands in stark contrast to their squalidness and ugliness, and that makes them hate it all the more.
- Jews are destroyers. They are anti-humans. The anti-human Jew hates and wants to destroy all non-Jews. He will also destroy even other Jews who are less destructive and evil than he is, if they get in his way. Apparently, the wickedness of the Jew is genetically based. Jews are destroyers. They are anti-humans. By the act of circumcision, the Jew shows his hatred towards nature and the natural order. By this bloody, cruel, senseless act, he shows his cruelty and sadism, and that he will stop at nothing to obtain his ends. Surely the Jews are also behind the Islamic circumcision, which serves as an ideal cover and distraction from their own wickedness in this regard. Jews are truly anti-human and anti-nature. Jews are intensely selfish, intolerant and anti-social, et cetera. They are full of hate, greed, malice, et cetera. Naturally, other people, i.e. the non-Jews, don't like being bulldozed aside, robbed and murdered by the Jews, and will sooner or later resist. That is where the lies and deceit of the Jews come into place.
- Jews are ruthless, lawless, criminal people. They've been mutilating their kids for thousands of years, cutting off a piece of their penis then sucking it. That's illegal too, but that never stopped the dirty Jews.
- The slaves they've accumulated through the television are even worse, as they have been hypnotized to be rude, stupid, and submissive to their kike-masters.
- best part: without them, you'd probably still be living in a cave and eating your own shit.
|Who is a Jew that is not well-to-do?|
- Albert Einstein, invented physics
- Richard Simmons, Faggot
- Barbara Streisand, famous for that song "The Way We Were"
- Alfred Nobel, invented TNT, then started the Nobel Peace Prize out of troll's remorse
- Sigmund Freud, told you that you are in love with your mother!
- Jack the Ripper  (rly)
- Gene Simmons, best known as The Devil from KISS.
- Uziel Gal, inventor of the machine gun.
- Reinhard Heydrich
- Gloria Steinem, invented the vagina.
- Chuck Lorre
- Elie Wiesel
- Bernie Madoff
- Justin Carmical
- Carl Sagan, despite being a Jew (which is pretty sick), he is one of the greatest men to ever live.
- Bill Nye, his greatest accomplishment is trolling the education system with his lulzy educational videos.
- Jon Stewart
- Mark Zuckerberg
- George Soros
- Jerry Seinfeld
- Joe Lieberman
- Jeff Goldblum
- Eric Bauman
- Natalie Portman
- Nigella Lawson
- Lauren Faust
- Blu Aardvark
- Stephen FUCKING Fry
- Kyle Broflovski
- Ron Jeremy
- Sarah Silverman
- The ACLU
- Henry Kissinger
- Adolf Hitler
- Sasha Grey
- Sergey Brin
- Michael Dell
- Harrison Ford
- Alan Greenspan
- Christopher Hitchens
- Danielle Day Jewess
- Tara Strong
- You are a fuckin' Jew! (Except you're not famous)
- William Shatner
- Sharjah Ruler Jews best friend and Child Prostitution provider for good followers.
PROTIP: Never try to help the Jews.
HOW TO BE A JEW
|Oi vey, enough Jew-lists already|
- Become an extremely greedy and selfish fuck with money.
- Use the Holocaust as an excuse to get away with everything.
- Declare Israel as your homeland (even if you've never been there your entire life).
- Start speaking and writing in Hebrew.
- Change your name to names like Abraham, Barbara, Ida, Abra, Aliza, Issac, Anita, Ed or Ido.
- Read the Torah.
- Generously donate a bunch of your pennies at Christmas for the Salvation Army bell-ringers and call it charity.
- Cry out "Antisemitism!" whenever anyone criticizes Jews and/or Israel.
- Have a huge, gigantic nose.
- Work in a bank as an accountant or a loan officer.
- Shout out phrases like "Mazel Tov!" "Shalom!" or "Oy Vey!"
- Hate Muslims, Christians and Catholics with a burning passion.
- Walk around with signs saying FUCK PALESTINE!
- Dye your hair black and curl it ugly locks on the side of your head.
- Walk around talking loud and obnoxiously in an annoying inner-city American accent (like in Boston or NJ) and say things like "MISTER!" "SUUUR!" and "HAARDARR!"
- Declare the Arabs as your sworn enemy, but help and support them.
- Refer to all non-Jewish people as "goyim."
- Light a shitload of candles on every holiday.
- Piss on a statue of Jesus for the lulz.
- Screw people over with money.
- Hate the white man.
- Eat kosher food.
- Kiss up to the blacks and gays.
- Make sure your dick is circumcised.
- Wear kippahs, fur hats and black robes.
This quote embodies the true soul of the Jew. He starts out with a Jewtastic argument about racism, but reverts to the typical "stupid inbred sister fucker" garbage that you expect from some butthurt fucker on the Internet. He then goes on to say that surprise buttsecks isn't funny, which we all know is incorrect. Also, notice how he resorts to a threatening a lawsuit, the jew's primary defense.
A visual guide to Jews
Jew-identification has come on in leaps and bounds since the example in the previous section. Here are some top tips for spotting the Jew at his hidden work in your neighborhood.
|On Jews, some views||About missing Pics|
|For the full gallery, click here. NO JEWS ALLOWED!!!|
- Adolf Hitler - Misunderstood angel of good.
- The Jewish Question
- Ela Thier - Jews love America... until it interferes with their abortions.
- Holocaust - The gift that keeps on giving.
- Holocaust Porn - What Jews masturbate to.
- Iceland - Tried to emulate the Jew idea of stealing money through immoral borderline criminal banking, but ended up paying the bill themselves.
- Israel - The "Kingdom of the Jews" (approx. 98.9% Jew infested).
- Jesus is Hitler
- JEWS DID WTC - Truth.
- Jew Watch
- Miriam Lazewatsky - Dumb Jewish whore who blames her fat ass on the goyim conspiracy.
- Monica Lewinsky - Jew slut goes down on goyim President.
- Rats - Jews in animal form.
- Mental illness
- Victim complex - The most common calling card amongst all kikes.
- Ed, Edd n Eddy - Cartoon about three jews.
- ; or, Jews By Choice.
- A Jew named Semen gets eight years for $57m Holocaust reparation fraud - No really, his name is Semen Domnitser.
- The Fecal Fixation of the Chosen Ones
- Jew banned from battle.net over "retarded goyim" remark - Oy vey! It's another Shoah!
- Jews went insane trying to get this site taken down
- Educational photos about how Jews celebrate New Year - They are truly disgusting!!! Also it happened in their newest colony: Ukraine! Does this feel like hyenas feasting on a corpse they killed to you?
is part of a series on Race
|Featured article April 21st & 22nd, 2014|
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