Joel Monaghan

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A dog-day afternoon.

On Monday the 20th of September 2010 (or not), rugby league tough guy Joel Monaghan and his teammates went out to some clubs to celebrate the end of a season by getting pissed rotten. After a bit of dressup fun, they all headed to the house of an absent teammate who owned a labrador which Joel knew had been especially trained to enjoy licking human genitals. Downing a few, and just as a joke, Joel decided to show them the dog's special training. After he pulled his own pants down to enjoy the paws that refresh, a couple of teammates decided to give him a hound in reaching infamy by taking photos and later circulating them. They eventually reached some particularly retarded leftard who posted them under the name of a politician. The timing of this narrative doesn't make sense so is probably invented bullshit, see 'Timeline' below on that.

Oh, the Bestiality

Stupid reporter gets wet from viewing the photo, can't get it out of her mind, who should be shocked?

I am hard to shock but I strongly advise anyone who is curious to avoid at all costs looking at the image. It is base, depraved and vile. It is also very difficult to expel from your mind.


Concerned Reporter


His teammates restrain him from raping a nearby puppy.

Joel Monaghan is now an ex-NRL player for the time being and confirmed dingo-mongler, who has joined the prestigious ranks of John Hopoate and Julian O'Neill by stirring the ever-flowing pot of lulz that is rugby league. In late 2010 a photo began circulating on the internets of a dog retrieving a different kind of ball from this dingomongler. Thankfully for Jason Akermanis it wasn't a that's a whole different story.

It's not cheating if you spread peanut butter on your balls and let your dog lick it off. Because it's your dog.




Just saw that Joel Monaghan thing.. pouring bleach on my eyes..




Happier times for Joel Monaghan earlier on the very same day (or not).

Might be More Acceptable with a Farm Animal

It is undignified and it's completely disrespectful to an animal let alone a home pet ...



—Michael Linke, RSPCA



Leftard twat Twitter-favicon.png WyattRoyMP broke the story via TwitPic as some kind of lame propaganda, and old media are shitting themselves in envy. He claimed the act had been necessary to highlight the issue of animal cruelty, and that he obtained the photograph from a 'friend', who said it had been circulating around ACT rugby league circles for 'the last two weeks or so'.

After copping numerous threats I removed all pics from Twitter but left them on Twitpic.


He also claims to possess other photos of Monaghan, doing God-knows-what with helpless animals. The furries await these with bated breath. The Partyvan is also after fake WyattRoyMP for doing it in a lame attempt to defame a relatively innocent politician.

The Taiwan Treatment

The channel formerly known as Apple News does a slightly inaccurate but lovely job.

How do you even know it was a bitch?

With a whing whang wally wong, give the dog a bone.


Past Relationships

Much like the Tiger Woods scandal, once the dam breaks, there's a flood to follow. Some of his other bitches have come forward to reveal a long line of puppy love.

Coming Soon

These freaks seem to see beastie fellatio as a team-builder.

Joel intends to head for the UK to wait out his 'disgrace'. Plox start practising the doggy noises Super League fans. Leeds followers are already calling him 'Lassie' and 'Rex' in debates on recruitment.

Timeline Does Not Add up

The claim was that this event happened on 'Mad Monday', a post-season celebration where 'the boys' are expected to act up, so providing something of an excuse (hey, it's Mad Monday, getting a hound to lick my dong is kind of natural). This doesn't make sense. The animal shot was taken some time in the afternoon, cosplay scenes at the local club are probably not really from the same day, and he wouldn't have still been standing too much longer after the dog day afternoon if he'd been as drunk as the official story has it. A recent press article slyly hinted that the doggy lulz really happened on Friday the 17th of September, not 'Mad Monday'.

File:Kearns and dog.PNG
Phil Kearns led the way, but the incident's a state sekrit, made the Tele but he got that plumbed.

Rugby Tradition

Monaghan is said to have been inspired by the exploits of fellow rugger bugger Phil Kearns, widely reputed to have been involved in a similar incident in 2003 (comments on this are being taken down everywhere at time of writing), with video taken by his wife (OMG, what a bugger).

See Also

Joel Monaghan
is part of a series on
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