John Carmichael

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Sorry ladies- he's taken!
Experimental 'grizzly' makeover

Chief Scilon of all New York, and the product of a century-long experiment in serial incest, John Carmichael possesses OT powers that can detect the smell of vagina from miles away. It is speculated that this allows him to avoid the company of strong women who might distract him from his serious love of young men and buttsex. Since the beginning of Project Chanology, Anonymous in New York City have reduced John Carmichael from a cross-dressing, crackhead public relations nightmare to the kind of moron you only find on television shows like Looney Toons, Futurama or Big Gay Al's Big Gay Cross-Dressing Extravaganza.

Fun Facts

In late May of 2008, an ex-member of the Office of Special Affairs let loose the following facts about John Carmichael and the lulz that ensued from trolling him about it were endless...in fact, they continue to this day.


Pussyman On Film!

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John Carmichael Circa February 2008...


...and then five months later.

Fan Videos



Carmichael should consider just going ahead
and letting his freak flag fly. He might not be so
obsessed with other people's sex lives and genitalia if he did.





O SHI--!!
Carmichael, with a mug that scares small children





John Carmichael smells pussy...do you?





This video has a guest appearance by John Carmichael (circa 1997).
(It is otherwise unrelated to Carmichael entirely, and is not very LULZy.)
Scroll ahead to the 6:00 minute mark to see John using CoS OT powers
to confront & shatter suppression (i.e., trying but failing to ignore protesters entirely).



Gallery of the Now

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John's contemporaries talk about him...

   
 
John was a former drug-addict back in 1977 when he joined.
 

 
 

Ex-OSA sauce


   
 
I remember John fondly as a nice guy, not insane or anything but this video clearly proves he has lost his marbles and is just another mental casualty of the movement.
 

 
 

Ex-OSA sauce


   
 
Honestly, I don't think John is interested in girls, I think he might be interested in BECOMING ONE but dating/fucking one? I very much doubt that.
 

 
 

Ex-OSA sauce


   
 
I don't think he (John) is attracted to girls, although he MIGHT want to become one some day.
 

 
 

Ex-OSA sauce


   
 
I know for a fact he (John) has had a number of gay love affairs prior to joining the movement, not sure if he (John) is continuing these fascinations though to their conclusion. He is married AFAIK but that could be a facade to hide his obvious homosexuality.
 

 
 

Ex-OSA sauce


   
 
[John is] living off welfare (which is possibly against the law, since his wife is rich).
 

 
 

Ex-OSA sauce

External Links

Xenu homeboy.pngJohn Carmichael is part of a series on ScientologyXenu homeboy.png

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LOL TECH:

DianeticsDisconnectionChild abuseSaint HillScientology's History of the UniverseSec CheckFreewindsSea OrgGlossaryReligious Freedom WatchVolunteer MinistersOSASpace Opera

SCILONS:

L. Ron HubbardDavid MiscarriageTom CruiseScientology AgentsTommy DavisRogues GallerySuri CruiseTerryeoHeaven's GateThe RegimeEvil Jacket GuyJoe FeshbachVaLLarrrTom NewtonJohn CarmichaelFreezoneCaptain Bill RobertsonDanny MastersonWill SmithOschaperKendrick MoxonTim ArmerJorge SerranoRon SaveloJohn TravoltaJett Travolta

NOTORIOUS SPs:

AnonymousWise Beard ManJason BegheGas Mask GirlMagooNew Zealand Fail GuyMessage from ScientologyShawn LonsdaleRorschachMoralfagsLeaderfagsRaidfag WenchJames PackerEpic Nose GuyStu WyattTommy GormanThe Unknown AutobotPsychiatristsMarcab ConfederacyDavid Wu-KapauwEpic Sword GuyAgent Pubeit

ENTURBULULZ:

PROJECT CHANOLOGYWhy We Protest ForumsA Scientologist's Guide to 4chanThe GeteratorPaul "Fetch" CarnesReligionIsFree.orgYou Found the Card/i/alt.religion.scientologyComplete binge of LEAKED SCILON DOX888chan