Jorge Serrano

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Jump to navigation Jump to search
What? This article needs moar shoops & stories & rule 34.
You can help by adding moar shoops & stories & rule 34.
Young Jorge Serrano

Jorge Serrano, AKA "Starbucks Boy," is a homosexually repressed, violent, bull-baiting young Scientologist from Clearwater who made an ass out of himself on the Internets on January 17, 2009. On this infamous day, young Mexican (or "Giorgio," as he calls himself on MySpace) attacked Anonymous characters as they enturbulated some local Scilons. His golden verbal lashings included "EWE WANNA FUCK!!?" and "Why don't you all go have an orgy, and, go fuck yourselves." Sissipated, faggot-like, "little girl with a PMS problem"-esque attempts to slap Anons' cameras were also made to which they responded "I'm pressing charges."

The Clearwater PD instructed the $cilon to STFU, to which Jorge replied "NO U." At that point the law was explained to him and he walked the walk of shame all the way back to Scilonville to the shouts of "Don't feed the troll!"

He was later doxed when a Clearwater Anon spotted him, and noticed that Jorge's name was tattooed on his arm (so he wouldn't forget it).

In light of his failure, he has recently been promoted to David Miscavige's 3rd favorite piece of ass.


A Family Tradition

Jorge's parents are both OT-8s and "active members of the Clearwater community." They are veritable slaves to $cientology

Jorge isn't the first closet case scientology member.


Infinity: An Ode to Epic Starbucks Boy

Clearwater Anon lady sings a sweet song to Epic Starbucks Boy.

I laid my hand on your shoulder on the day that we met.

You were shaking like a junkie and your jacket was covered in sweat. I told you, "NO!" but you would not listen to my pleas: Running from one Anon to another, you were such a cock tease!

'You wanna FUCK?!" ringing out into all the Anons' ears But with no takers to your question, in your eyes I saw tears. You flitted from one Anon to another until the cops finally came After a dressing down, you walked the walk of shame.

You know that you failed and we know it, too. But do not despair and do not be blue Clearwater Anonyous will not be soon forgetting you We study every frame and memorize every view.

You and us together: to 8INFINITY8 and beyond! Do you feel the love and do you feel our bond? Until we meet again, we'll all be singing the blues. But I have a prezzie from you: Starbux juice on my shoes.



—from the Clearwater Anonymous cell


Xenu homeboy.pngJorge Serrano is part of a series on ScientologyXenu homeboy.png



DianeticsDisconnectionChild abuseSaint HillScientology's History of the UniverseSec CheckFreewindsSea OrgGlossaryReligious Freedom WatchVolunteer MinistersOSASpace Opera


L. Ron HubbardDavid MiscarriageTom CruiseScientology AgentsTommy DavisRogues GallerySuri CruiseTerryeoHeaven's GateThe RegimeEvil Jacket GuyJoe FeshbachVaLLarrrTom NewtonJohn CarmichaelFreezoneCaptain Bill RobertsonDanny MastersonWill SmithOschaperKendrick MoxonTim ArmerJorge SerranoRon SaveloJohn TravoltaJett Travolta


AnonymousWise Beard ManJason BegheGas Mask GirlMagooNew Zealand Fail GuyMessage from ScientologyShawn LonsdaleRorschachMoralfagsLeaderfagsRaidfag WenchJames PackerEpic Nose GuyStu WyattTommy GormanThe Unknown AutobotPsychiatristsMarcab ConfederacyDavid Wu-KapauwEpic Sword GuyAgent Pubeit


PROJECT CHANOLOGYWhy We Protest ForumsA Scientologist's Guide to 4chanThe GeteratorPaul "Fetch" CarnesReligionIsFree.orgYou Found the Card/i/alt.religion.scientologyComplete binge of LEAKED SCILON DOX888chan