From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Sir Josef FritzlJew, MBE is the Final Boss of teh /b/tards and patron saint of Australia . He is a serial committer of incest, sick fuckery and being a pretty cool guy who became a meme on 4chan's /b/ circa April 29, 2008. After his recent arrest last Thursday, he is being watched by the authorities who suspect that he may attempt to become an hero as a result of guilt over his actions. However, he would find a welcome home in 4chan, because /b/tards loev him for what he did. Fritzl has received a mountain of 200 love letters from lonely women offering him romance as well. Some of these women have said that Fritzl is "good at heart" and "misunderstood". They believe that he wanted to keep his daughter out of trouble, so he kept her prisoner for most of her life. Despite his arrest, he finds time to post on The Soapbox as SpiderWire.
Josef is a radical sadist and the personification of Evil who has made his own family (lol at pics of traumatised daughter incest (moar liek WINcest, amirite?).) suffer for a very long time by playing "Light & Darkness" with their lives and their souls in an extremely possessive way, like a mentally ill Dictator. He began abusing his daughter Elizabeth in 1977 while she was still a loli. In 1984, when she flowered into a beautiful young woman, Fritzl decided he didn't want to share his prize possession with the rest of the world and locked her inside a dungeon. There she would remain for several decades, with Josef explaining to anyone who noticed she was missing that she had ran away. When he was finally caught, Fritzl defended his actions by pointing out the fact that his daughter was totally asking for it (she was). By the time Elizabeth emerged in 2008, she was a forty-something shadow of her former self, and had given birth to eight children from him. One of the children died and was baked in an oven by Josef. Three of those children had never seen the light of day. Two of them were aged 18 and 19, making them older than you. Due to the low ceilings of the basement, the older children now walk with a permanent hunch, while the youngest child prefers to crawl, although he can walk. The children communicate with each other through a combination of speech and animal sounds. The other children apparently lived a normal life. Other people thought they were his grandchildren (which they were, but just not in the conventional sense, lol).
Josef had apparently told his captives that the basement door was wired to explode, and that poisonous gas canisters were primed to pump their lungs full of Zyklon B if they tried to open the door to sweet freedom.
His defense lawyer plans to argue that all Mr. Fritzl was doing is putting Plato's Allegory of the cave to practice, and that he is being persecuted, like many great Australian scientists in the past.
The mass media threw a shit fit when they found out about this, and now Josef is on suicide watch. Our verdict: he did it for the lulz. Police have voiced fears that Fritzl - who is 73 and has a heart condition - will die in prison before his victims can reveal exactly what happened to them. Fritzl has also told his jailers that he needs daily exercise outside because he hates being cooped up in his cell.
The past news suggests that the 19-year-old girl who is in the hospital might die, but fortunately good news turns it in to hope. On May 27, Kerstin Fritzl finally woke up from the coma, and on May 28, three of the children returned to school. Authorities said after the case surfaced last month, Fritzl's victims might get new identities to help them start over.
In June, cops revealed that daughter Elisabeth is too traumatized to be questioned, and mounties have been unable to quiz the three of the seven children fathered by Fritzl who also lived in the cellar. Medical experts have warned police it could be two years later before the victims reveal all about the Cellar Terror of Josef - by which time, they fear, Fritzl my have already passed away.
It is rumored that he may have created several similar basements in Norway. Archaeologists have found two so far, and they all have a loli in them. One of his best friends lives in Norway, and it is believed that he might have helped him and/or given him permission to use his house.
— Proof that Fritzl is a pretty cool guy.
Therefore, the slightest bit of hospitality means Fritzl really is a family man and NOT A RAPIST.
I assume the lawyer has assburgers, and must be credited for ensuing more hilarity on the subject.
Psy Experts put the brute on the couch for the first time since he was arrested more than two weeks ago.
They believe that, like serial killer Harold Shipman, he reveled in "playing God " with other people's lives.
—Psy Experts , May 13 2008
However, new evidence has came to light which suggests that these heinous acts were committed neither for the ensuing lulz nor in an attempt to play God but were actually part of a wider Jew to propagate the Jewish race.
—Josef 'Closet Romantic' Fritzl, October 14 2008
Update March 18, 2009
Previous Video | Next Video
some argue that the jews did it
.This video contains undeniable proof that Australia is full of jew dungeon masters although they deny it. Since jewtube is run by zionist this video has been removed. Luckily a brave individual posted a new vid.
Now a hit new television program from The Chaser
Looking for some Fritzlicious copypasta? Try the Josef Fritzl copypasta archive!
DIY Josef Fritzl
As you can clearly see from the diagram to the right, it is actually very easy to create such a house. First, you must be a complete sick fuck. Next, you need to think of a way to not make anyone suspect anything of you. Here are the steps:
Step 1: Dig underneath house, and make sure there is tons of room to move around
Step 2: Now start to forge the rooms. Make a really beautiful bathroom, and put a toy elephant on top of cabinet
Step 3: Drug loli
Step 4: Handcuff loli and take in to brand new living area
Step 5: Create super sophisticated locking mechanisms on door
Step 6: RAEP
Step 7: Repeat until loli gives birth 7 times
Step 8: Dead baby? NO PROBLEM! Just burn it in a fire!
Step 9: Keep 3 children and loli for 10 - 24 years.
Step 10: Release captive because SHE IS TOTALLY NOT GOING TO TELL ANYONE OF THE HORRORS SHE HAS EXPERIENCED AND GET YOU B&
Step 11: Get B&
Step 12: Become meme
Step 13: Rot in jail
Step 14: ????
Step 15: PROFIT
http://www.watoday.com.au/world/man-fathers-10-children-with-daughter-police-20101125-187po.html This man beat his score !!!!
Around 2007 a woman in Brno, Czech Republic bought a baby monitor and was startled when she turned it on to find it picking up 12chan. In fact, the pictures of little boys being sexually abused were coming from her next door neighbor Klara Mauerova; a paid up member of The Grail Movement who was cutting up her kids a bit at a time for her fellow members to eat.
The partyvan bust down the door and freed little Ondrej and his brother Jakob, both ten years old, along with their 13 year old adopted sister, Anicka. Little did they know that 13 year old Anicka was actually 33 year old Barbora, an accomplice to the cult who promptly took the chance to escape.
Barbora was apprehended months later in Oslo, having shaved all her hair off in order to pose as a 13 year old boy. No, that's not a meme, that's what really happened. She claimed she was being manipulated and taking orders from a man calling himself The Doctor.
Maybe next time they should CZECH for TRAPS!
An Italian Challenger appears!!1one
Michele Mongelli and his son as Giuseppe Mongelli, kept his daughter locked up for 25 years and raped her repeatedly together with his son. They have been v& by Italian police.
— Mongelli's other daughter (And also his cock)
Apparently he is from the north of Italy. That is pretty close to the south of Australia, only a couple of hours drive.
Associated Press reports Some guy in Brazil in a remote fishing village only accessable by canoe kept his daughter/fucktoy imprisoned for 12 years and forced her to pop out at least 7 of his wincestuous spawn. Police allege that Jose Agostinho Pereira, 54, kept his daughter, now 28, under virtual house arrest in a two-room, thatched-roof hut. Authorities said the children appeared to suffer from malnutrition and could barely communicate with others. Most were unclothed." http://www.foxnews.com/world/2010/06/09/brazilian-police-man-imprisoned-daughter-years-child
in The Final Boss of the basement.
|Our Hero!||About missing Pics|
- Operation Merry Fritzmas
- THE BEST#Josef Fritzl and THE BEST Cellar
- Michael Jackson
- Josef Fritzl's twitter
- http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2009/sep/17/australia-fritzl-rape -- Confirmed Australian
- Now the subject of an Uwe Boll film
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|Featured article June 21, 2009|
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