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JP22 does not own a tube amp, Reapersaurus does not own a brain.

The man behind the genius

To anyone who does not understand the theories and practices behind producing music, JP22's mad ramblings can look like ill-informed rants and gibberish. Anyone familiar with recording music would see JP22's irate posts to be hilariously ill informed rants and gibberish.

The Original Post

As written

Hi, i'm looking for a few expert recording engineer sugguestions on how to possibly improve a guitar sound a bit. Firstly, i'll give a little background on my setup. I'm running three mics: One cardioid to isolate the sound, one condenser for a little bit of crispness and a tube in the room. I am happy with the initial sound i'm getting running two of these mics (one compressed) from a processor into two separate analogue mixer channels and one mic directly(condenser) to a mixer channel. I then send all three of these mics out together bussed (one line) as a stereo pair (L&R), compress again, then to an external converter and go optical into a single track into my multi-track software. My question is would I be better off running more than one stereo pair to my converters (separate for each mic) into my software, recording more than one track simultaniously? I'm wondering if i'll achieve a slight bit better edge on my sound somehow that way.. or perhaps I should also compress the other two mics and stick to running them all together as one line into a single track. Thx for any helpful sugguestions, opinions or info from any knowlegable engineers. ~Jp, "The Box", Minnesota, US


Summarized to no longer be tl;dr

I am recording one guitar with three microphones. In a long and convoluted process, I ignorantly squish the sound from all microphones into one monophonic and over-produced track. I would like help from knowledgeable engineers to make this sound good please.

The Lulz

Ha ha! The joke is on you!

After absolutely misunderstanding the reason for using compression equalizers and other effects, a small handful of people attempted to correct him. After all, using his equipment wisely would make the music sound better.

JP22's second reply, still on page one, became argumentative to the point of being nonsensical.

Compress a clean sound? Uhh.... sorry to break it to you but for the most part you're almost completely defeating the purpose of using compression doing that.
if you've even bothered to read my initial posts i'm not dealing with "tape"!

At this point it became clear that this individual had a lot of expensive gear and no idea how to use it. After gaining some helpful advice, the onslaught escalated.

Compression doesn't "tighten up dynamics" imbecile
People who say "tape" when they don't actually mean "tape"? Thats twisted. You need psychological help buddy.
Those are all fake rumors!
You need to learn how to cooperate, loser.
I could easily give back any minimal dynamics lost compressing with a bit more eq on my mixer

This last quote would be like an oil painter saying "I can easily replace the paint I took off the canvas by running a #2 pencil over it."

I'm not Canadian. And furthermore my mother isn't a hermaphroditic crack-smoking porn queen.
I don't own a tube amp! HAHA!
I do use Compressor(s)/LIMITER(s), but not to control the dynamic range. I use EQ(s) for that. ... Lost yet? I think so.
WHAT ARGUMENT?!?! Who the hell is arguing!?!
Excuse me? The "hole i'm digging"? To where?

The Legend

JP22: eBay superstar

Message boards, blogs, and chat rooms for musicians and engineers have been lit up with the epic saga of JP22. Through his angry redefining of so many important techniques and effects, JP22 has become synonymous with how not to record music.

Although limited to a specific niche on the internets, his influence on this subculture is profound and wide-spanning. JP22 is ultimately not known for his lack of knowledge, but the ferocity with which he protected his precious stupidity.