Jussie Smollett

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Breakingnews.gif Breaking news!
Charges dropped
Frauds are everywhere y’all.


—Jussie Smollett, tweeting about Jussie Smollett Archive today-ico.png 1 Wayback Machine Favicon.jpg 2

Jussie's horribly mutilated face after the brutal assault.

Justin Langston Mikha Smollett (a.k.a. That Faggot Empire Nigger) is a 37-year-old Americunt actor and professional homosexual Jewlato who is most well known for his roles as one of the black kids in The Mighty Ducks and the black guy who dies in the shower scene in Alien: Covenant. Jussie is also, to a lesser extent, known for his role as Jamal Joseph Lyon on Fox's gay hip-hop drama, Empire – a role where he isn't actually required to do any acting as a result of actually being a gay black Jew IRL.

At around 2:00 a.m. in the early-morning hours of January 29, 2019, Jussie was walking the freezing streets of Chicago, Illinois, when he decided to be a retarded attention whore and become the victim of a horrific "hate crime" in which two crackers in ski masks allegedly asked him "Aren't you that faggot Empire nigger?", splashed bleach all over him in an attempt to turn him into one of them and then tossed a David Carradine necklace around his neck. Naturally, these mysterious assailants then informed Jussie that "This is MAGA country!" and vanished into the night like some sort of ninja-ass motherfuckers without getting caught on surveillance camera or finishing the lynching that they had started.

Unfortunately, Jussie apparently wasn't willing to finish lynching himself either and soon called the police to report the assault that totally, actually, really happened and definitely wasn't just another hoax designed to smear Trump supporters as a bunch of violent and racist homophobes. It was soon revealed that Jussie's assailants were Abimbola "Abel" Osundairo and Olabinjo "Ola" Osundairo, a pair of steroid-addicted Nigerian brothers who had previously appeared as extras on Empire and were paid a measly $3500 to cosplay as Stormfags and beat the shit out of Jussie for his sexual pleasure.

After Oingo and Boingo were arrested, Jussie quickly became the target of the police's investigation and was ultimately charged with multiple felonies for his retarded stunt. Unfortunately, all charges were ultimately dropped on March 26, 2019, after members of Jussie's family and one of Michelle Obama's former lovers from her pre-op days decided to whine to Cook County State's Attorney Kimberly M. Foxx and most likely gave her tons of money in exchange for her office dropping all of the charges against Jussie.

Jussie vs. Trump

Shut the hell up you bitch ass nigga. You will continue to run this country further into the ground and risk lives every time you breathe. You’re not the president. Just a dumpster full of hate. FOH. Sick to my stomach that literal shit currently represents America to the world.


—Jussie Smollett, calling
Donald Trump a "bitch ass nigga" Archive today-ico.png 1 Wayback Machine Favicon.jpg 2

The Threatening Letter

On or around January 18, 2019, a highly suspicious letter was sent to Empire studio and was addressed to Jussie Smollett. The envelope featured the term "MAGA" written on it for no apparent reason and handwriting that looked like it belonged to a 6-year-old retarded girl. The letter itself was a stereotypical cut and paste job featuring various letters from magazines that spelled out "SMOLLETT JUSSIE You WiLL d E BLaCK FAG" and featured a drawing of a stick figure that, when looked at closely, vaguely resembles the execution of Leo Frank.

The Alleged Attack

File:JussieSmollett whatHappened.jpg
It totally happened this way

The attack involved two guys who, upon recognizing that he was "that nigger from Empire", beat Jussie up while yelling "This is MAGA country", only to then pour bleach all over him and then put a noose around his neck. Jussie managed to then fight the attackers off, then went to the hospital to treat his injuries. Now on the list of things that totally happened, this attack is absolutely right on the top, especially considering that:

  • Jussie could totally tell it was two WHITE guys who attacked him, despite it being 2AM in the middle of a Chicago winter night and thus his attackers worse ski masks and a bunch of layered clothing as well
  • frankly, white men are even more dangerous in the middle of a winter night, which meant that the fluffy, warm clothing that Jussie was wearing had no protective effect against his attack, as they managed to break one of his ribs
  • bleach and a noose are things that all Trump supporters carry with them at all times, just so they can be ready to attack at a moment's notice as soon as a gay black man from the TV show Empire appear right in front of them
  • the lack of surveillance video evidence of the attack and of the attackers is totally normal, despite the fact that the attack happened in a “very high density” area for surveillance cameras; this is because Trump supporters are also skilled 4chan hackers, and they managed to not only hide themselves from almost every single surveillance cameras, but they also replaced whatever videos of them that was recorded with videos of two black dudes instead
  • the lack of any actual witnesses of the attack is also just as normal; it's a proven fact that while savagely beating up may be loud and easy to notice, the phrase "This is MAGA country!" has some unique properties which can actually mask out the sound of any attack... that's why Trump supporters use that phrase while committing all of their heinous hate crimes. In fact, it's unique properties also masked out some of Jussie's own memories, as he forgot to include that detail on police interviews, only remembering it the day after it happened.
  • the security camera footage of Jussie's apartment which shows him NOT asking for help after having been viciously attacked is also another one of the 4chan MAGA Trump supporter hacks. Jussie absolutely asked for help, but the hackers switched that footage out for one recorded of Jussie from a previous day where he also happened to have a hangman's noose around his neck for a totally unrelated and perfectly reasonable purpose.

Anyways, this is a supreme tragedy that this happened, because this is clearly a prime example of the new realities of Trump's America. Namely, people making up bullshit stories about Trump supporters attacking them in order to generate pity and create controversy in the hopes that it somehow convinces people to get rid of Trump.

File:JussieSmollett whiteSupremacists.jpg
This is Trump's America. And actually, even though Trump supporters didn't commit these crimes, Trump made these people do these crimes, pretending to be attacked by Trump supporters, so it might as well have been done by Trump supporters.

The Suspects Revealed!

Fake News or Fake Noose

File:Olabinjo and Abimbola Osundairo.jpg
The racist Trump supporters in question

After every politician in DC and every Drumpf hater in Hollywood denounced the mysterious men who gaybashed Smollett, it was discovered that he had paid the two men $3500, presumably to act out a "fagbashing turns erotic" fantasy. Unfortunately the two men lied on Jussie and claimed that his intent was to stage a fake hate crime, which is very fashionable in the current year.

The Chicago Police are currently investigating this as a hoax, the "trajectory" of the investigation having been turned around after the two fake Nigerian men in blackface lied on Smollett who dindu nuffin. The racists and race baiters had a field day on Twitter and Trump supporters were once again proven to be wild eyed racists.

LOL He Got Fired

Yup, his Hollywood allies who were completely unaware of the planning of this threw him under the bus. Shitcaning him from his show & Broadway. Now he's going to be Kamala Harris & what's left of the Obama admiration's little bitch until society gives him penance for the error of his horseshit. On the bright side to this. One day he's going to die and end up in Hell, at least it'll be a step up from his current situation.



What we assume the culprits looked like.
Jussie Smollett, getting lynched by a racist homophobe.
The racist, homophobic attack on @JussieSmollett is an affront to our humanity. No one should be attacked for who they are or whom they love. I pray that Jussie has a speedy recovery & that justice is served.


Nancy Pelosi, Jan 29 tweet, now deleted

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—Cher, being batshit insane as usual

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[email protected] is one of the kindest, most gentle human beings I know. I’m praying for his quick recovery. This was an attempted modern day lynching. No one should have to fear for their life because of their sexuality or color of their skin. We must confront this hate.


—Kamala Harris

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The vicious attack on actor Jussie Smollett was an attempted modern-day lynching. I'm glad he's safe.

To those in Congress who don't feel the urgency to pass our Anti-Lynching bill designating lynching as a federal hate crime– I urge you to pay attention.



Cory Booker, Professional Rapist

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What happened today to @JussieSmollett must never be tolerated in this country. We must stand up and demand that we no longer give this hate safe harbor; that homophobia and racism have no place on our streets or in our hearts. We are with you, Jussie.


Joe Biden‏

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"When one of the most famous black and gay men in America[citation needed] is not safe, the message is clearer than it has ever been." The dangerous lies spewing from the right wing is killing & hurting our people.

Thinking of you @JussieSmollett, and my LGBTQ neighbors.


Rashida Tlaib

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No human deserves to be attacked & mistreated for BEING WHO THEY ARE. What happened yesterday is unacceptable! Praying for your healing Jussie.♥️Thanks for being a light & showing the power of walking in our truth. We stand with you as one. ♥️Hate crimes of ANY kind are cowardly!


—Alicia Keys‏

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/r/The_Donald, calling out Jussie's
bullshit on Day One Archive today-ico.png (archive)


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