Kent Hovind

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Kent Hovind, or Dr. Dino, as his delusional fucktarded followers call him (born January 15, 1953), is the original and quintessential IRL Creationist troll. Many years ago, Hovind became "(in)famous", for pissing off the general scientific community with his far-fetched conspiracy theories, and beyond batshit-insane takes on Genesis. His inane ideas, such as The Water Canopy "Theory", are so poorly thought out it was getting debunked by other Creationists!

He also faps to annoying the fuck out of the Richard Dawkins, and by screwing the living shit out of the IRS. But these days, Kent makes his living by running his Dinosaur Adventure Land (DAL) like a Death Camp Commandant; well, in between bouts of having his fugly pooper penetrated daily by fat Double Y Chromosome Axe Murderers in sunny Florida's Federal Correctional Institution.

Even though everyone knows he is in prison for not paying any revenue tax to the gubmint, For the sole purpose of getting raped in the ass! ol'Hovind still insists the reason he's locked up in the rapehouse is that the Fed., along with just about anyone with an IQ higher than 50, is out to get him.
This only begins to hint at the amount of self-importance this man suffers.

Meet Kent Hovind

A Musical Tribute to the Man and his Message


 
 
"You're a Fucktard....aren't 'cha Kent?"
 

 

The Chorus that will repeat in your Dome for the next 6 Hours.

Patriot Bible University and The Early Years

After flunking his way through East Peoria Community High School in 1971, Hovind decided he wanted moar to life than just working the night shift at Taco Bell. So, twenty years later Kent Hovind decided to get a fake and useless "degree" from an ultra-small diploma mill in East Peoria, Illinois.


   
 
Every once in a while someone will ask me the question, "Where did you get your degree?" While I am not the least bit ashamed of my education, I have learned by experience that they could be asking the question because they have come to the point where they cannot attack the message I bring against evolution so they wish to attack me personally instead. This is called an ad hominem argument. They mistakenly think that by belittling the man they have answered his points and won the debate. When the opponent in a debate begins using ad hominem attacks, it is an obvious signal that they are losing the debate on facts and must resort to other means to try to save face or divert attention. It is also interesting to watch how the evolutionists will spend much time and effort scrutinizing a subject like my degree or credentials yet won't spend 2 seconds scrutinizing how ridiculous the evolution theory is! They truly strain at a gnat and swallow a camel. Matthew 23:24
 

 
 

—Hovind, working his way around the question.

A year or two later, after receiving his first clown college correspondence degree, Hovind unleashed Creation Science Evangelism "Ministry" (CSE) in 1989. The collective IQ of every lifeform on Earth dropped slighty immediately after that.

The CSE basically tries to troll The Theory of Evolution as a whole into submission. Usually Always failing epically, but often attracting the (morbid) attention of more than a few scientists. Most of whom are wondering if he's an failed sketch comic doing an inept satirical impersonation of a fundie.
It is really easy to think of Kent as being to Evangelical Christianity what Borat is to Kazakhstan.

The $250,000 Challenge

According to Hovind's website, he has offered $10,000 since 1990 to those who can "prove the theory of evolution." Feeling butthurt, he has since raised the amount of the reward to $250,000. Not that he was going to even give any money, because the question itself is an unanswerable absolute truth.


   
 
I have a standing offer of $250,000 to anyone who can give any empirical evidence (scientific proof) for evolution.* My $250,000 offer demonstrates that the hypothesis of evolution is nothing more than a religious belief. When I use the word evolution, I am not referring to the minor variations found in all of the various life forms (microevolution). I am referring to the general theory of evolution which believes these five major events took place without God: Time, space, and matter came into existence by themselves, Planets and stars formed from space dust, Matter created life by itself, Early life-forms learned to reproduce themselves, Major changes occurred between these diverse life forms (i.e., fish changed to amphibians, amphibians changed to reptiles, and reptiles changed to birds or mammals
 

 
 

—Hovind, asking a big, unanswerable question

Speaking of silly challenges....

The Putrid Fruit of his Loins

Now that the entire penal system is using Kent as a penis punch-hole piñata, his drooling, airheaded spawn have taken up the sputtering flame of making 'Challenges' to random non-believers. Look into the empty, soulless eyes of Eric as he makes his vapid challenge to a disappointed universe.

Here's a Man who Doesn't Get what 'Special Pleading' is


 
 
"....examine it as if it is Truth..."
 

 

Eric Hovind is just like his dad (except without the charm or the sense of humor). I suspect that this inbred bloodline is going to go on for hundreds of generations, constantly half-lifing into more troglodytes who avoid evolving through sheer cussedness. The end result will be in 100,000 years, Homo Exaltus will travel the universe in spaceships made entirely out of solidified orgasms....while the Hovind subspecies will still wallow in hogshit demanding to see proof that the Noachaian Flood never happened.

Beliefs

Hovind, feels all of the following statements are at least 100% true:

  • The earth is 6000 years old at the most, give or take a few millenia.
  • All scientists -- whether Creation or Evolution proponents -- are evil Godless heathens.
  • Anal sex, and all other perversions listed in the Bible are wrong, even though Kent takes one up the ass every day in jail.
  • Jews are hellbound $cumbags, but we should still support Isreal
  • Atheists are just doing it for teh lulz
  • Capital punishment should be done on live television.
  • Dr. Stephen Meyer's degree is fake.
  • Killing innocent people is okay as long as it is "war" time
  • Khorne Old Testament Yahweh only wants blood....and foreskins. Lots of foreskins. He makes them into "expandable luggage"....and chewing gum. Best not to think too long about it.
  • Kent would kill everybody if he was omnipotent.
  • Anyone who refuses to debate Kent goes on a fuck list.

For more facts and Lulz check out This rad site I found

See Also

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