Kevin Underwood is a SA Goon who may constitute conclusive proof that Goons are actually now below even /b/tards in the internet food chain. He was convicted on 29th February 2008 of epic, epic, EPIC fail.
Underwood planned to lure children to his home for pwnage purposes and in the end settled upon one Jamie Rose Bolin, who came to his fortress of failure to play with his pet rat.
He chose to kill her using a chopping board, thwapping her comedically around the head with it over and over and over with her crying and screaming all the time. He estimates that it took as long as twenty minutes.
After that he was planning to decapitate, rape, cook and eat the body, but decided in his infinite wisdom that a kitchen knife would prove adequate to the task of sawing through a human vertibrae.
Police records claim he was slipping on a banana peel, shaking his fist and saying "UH-OH! SPAGHETTI-OS!" when they caught him.
Quotes From The Confession
- SASS Butte's view on the Kevin
- Full confession. VERY dramatic.
- A discussion of this on somethingawful.
- The Awful Profile.
- SA thread of BAWWWWW over the poor girl.
- The story on Huff's Crime Blog.
- TV news report, April 14, 2006 (Video).
- Press conference, April 15, 2006 (Video).
- Kevin arraigned, April 17, 2006 (Video).
- Kevin arraigned, April 17, 2006.
- Kevin's profile.
- Future world ruler? Somehow, I don't think so...
On MySpace.- deleted and given to someone else
- Kevin's Display Case on Kingdom of Loathing