That Guy With The Glasses

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Nostalgic Meme
(Mr. Glasses reviewing 'Kickassia')
Family photo
Mike Michaud, Founder of TGWTG.
Often mistaken for Hellboy's Albino twin-brother.
The god unfunny awful hosts of TGWTG (except for AVGN... yet).

ThatGuywiththeGlasses.com / Channel Awesome (AKA Mike Michaud's Home for Battered Ex-ScrewAttack Members and Rejected YouTube Partners) is a website consisting of several terribly unfunny video contributors drowning in a sea of equally terrible member content. It is the Auschwitz of video sites due to all the Jew contributors producing videos there.

A typical Channel Awesome video usually entails a cosplaying cam-whore awkwardly staring at the camera whilst trying too hard to be witty, sarcastic and funny in a Charlie Brooker-esque manner. They either miss the point of several factors in a TV show/movie/video game, nit-pick the most trivial flaws, or miss out on potential gags. This is all done whilst being cut between video cameos of other TGWTG members having pre-scripted, poorly acted arguments. Along with 99% of the videos being commentary on other media, most of their "humor", forced memes, and general identity comes from repurposing, parodying, or outright stealing from other movies/TV shows/whatever, so next to nothing they make is actually theirs... much like Carlos Mencia. They get around this by capping off their 20 minute shows with rushed 10 second snippet reviews so as to vaguely qualify as "commentary" for "fair use".

These are then all followed up by several pages of ass-kissing or butthurt fans, saying how excellent or incorrect their chosen messiah is. These same people then travel on over to Wikipedia, TV Tropes, and other similar sites to rewrite the relevant work page to conform to their opinion and spam the site with as many unfunny quotes and failtastic memes as they can possibly shoehorn. It's an effect not quite unlike the cancer that is killing /b/.


   
 
I know it's just a bunch of 20-somethings having fun, picking on the easy targets for laughs, not truly an attempt at academic criticism, etc etc. Still, he's getting a little too used to confining himself to TGWTG where he can say or do anything and hordes of fans will jump in to spew blind praise before they even finish watching it, as well as pounce on anyone who criticizes him. Kind of ironic, really, that the "critics" on this site surround themselves with fans that stifle any criticism.
 

 
 

— Finally, somebody with a brain on this site!


Lubed up and ready to go.

After Doug Walker was kicked off YouTube, a bald, fat man by the name Mike Michaud immediately jumped on the chance to give Doug his own website so he could suck in 10,000 fucking dollars a month from his loyal monkey. Mike also founded Channel Awesome so he could make even more money from the internet's many man-children, and ultimately decides which talentless hack can post reviews on his website. Most of these reviewer parasites follow the shtick of giving themselves Ad-Lib-style names like "That (Noun) with the (Noun)" or some variation of "Critic" in honor of their sugar-daddy who lets them distribute their shitty videos on his egocentric website.

Contents

Nostalgia Critic

Nuvola
Moar info: Doug Walker.

The Nostalgia Chick Contest

Nostalgia chick face weenies.gif

Being the pimp that he is, Nostalgia Critic held a competition allowing whichever female user could suck his dick dry to partake in reviewing shitty stuff with him under the moniker the Nostalgia Chick. Three contestants entered.

Lindsay Ellis is a smug leftarded, Mactarded, vegetarian, nigger-loving, feminist film student with a shit degree from San Diego that reviews movies and TV shows catering to young girls. After swallowing every last drop of NC's cum with a smile on her face, the Dudette quickly found herself crowned the Nostalgia Chick. Upon seeing a very special work of art from a loyal fan, she quickly pondered quitting the internet, only to review Armageddon in September.

When Lindsay suspends her feminist rhetoric, she routinely over addresses racial stereotypes even in the subtlest to nonexistent instances. Through such feats as dancing like a retard in public and dragging her fat, ugly nerd friend Nella into all her videos, she actually some how manages to be less funny than Doug. She currently reviews pop culture music in an attempt to prove that women are useful for more than making sandwiches and being beaten/raped (SPOILER ALERT: They aren't).

Nostalgia Chick's BFF.

Despite Lindsay's loudly espoused Current TV hipster politics, every male fanboy on TGWTG never fails to praise even the worst video she shat out, including a half-assed review of the Last Unicorn where she literally went hiking and "improvised" her analysis (read: she pulled the script right out of her ass). Although she won't date any of her fans (unless the individual is either a black person or a curry muncher), her fans collective sexual desperation stands as the only explanation for their mindless devotion, which extends to grossly overpaying for anything this bitch touches. For instance, when she was selling her useless crap on eBay to help pay for her Master's Thesis, her $0.25 bowtie sold for over $500 fucking dollars. Even GoddessMine couldn't pull a trick this good. Unfortunately, so long as their fans remain permavirgins devoid of any dignity, Lindsay Ellis will stand above criticism in the eyes of her fans.

It has come to the attention of fans (who might not give a shit) that Lindsay had an abortion. Apparently, her mother was raped at one point in her life and had one too(it was a shame it was not her). So she decided to make a film about her dead fetus. Literally days after this premiered, Doug Walker thought it would be funny to do a It's a Wonderful Life parody. In this travesty of a one sketch, it involved Lindsay being successful and didn't have the abortion if Doug was never born. Thanks for keeping it classy, Doug. Nowadays, she's doing videos with her ugly nerd friends and is riding Todd in the Shadows' mutt dick.

Her Team Nchick Forum: http://chezapocalypse.com/forum/

MarzGurl

Marzgurl's appeal to anime fans derives from her sharp intellect and incisive analyses, as can be seen in this photo taken in her pre-dyke days.
What fans won't do these days.

Kaylyn Dicksion, TGWTG's obligatory weeaboo dyke dwelling in some rock near San Antonio, TX, spends the majority of her time blithering about her latest convention attendance and ranting about why cartoons/animation suck these days besides anime. If you don't love anime, then she'll h8 you. Her latest series, "Anime News Editorial", is about as entertaining as nailing your dick to a wooden plank, and she continues to ramble on about some piece of anime news that 99.9% of the rest of the world doesn't give a shit about. While she's not blabbering about being able to go to Japan while all of you losers can't, she is bitching out the fans who watch her videos about manga being taken down from the internets because it's illegal to scan and translate them. She has done this three times now. CRY SOME MOAR. This may cause lulz to ensue if she keeps this up.

She's also cool with being 34'ed as evidenced here, which appears to redeem her shitty character, but anyone with an IQ of room temperature would know that's like being cool with someone taking a bat to your totalled car. What's the fun in that?

That Chick With The Goggles

That Chick With The Goggles Vore

Krissy Diggs, a person of African descent who, true to her stereotype, was the most useless contributor, making a plodding video once a year that was about a minute long. Apparently, her lack of contributions were due to a computer virus which compromised her security and, in the process, deleted fucking everything. Looks like someone should have taken Computer Science III. Her last appearance was a very small bit in Kickassia, but who can blame her for wanting out after that?

She eventually stopped contributing after TGWTG stopped paying Krissy with Watermelon and Fried Chicken for her videos, and was sick of being TGWTG fap material. The Goggles did nothing.

Since all three were in the finals, and the fans were about to riot and kill everyone due to the possibility of their favorite fap material going away, Doug gave The Dudette the title of Nostalgic Chick while the rest would be allowed to continue posting crappy videos to the site.

Inked Reality

Inked Reality is Channel Awesome's latest foray into whoring out another site, but after learning their lesson with Bar Fiesta and Blistered Thumbs, that their viewers are too Autistic to click on a site that isn't splattered with Doug's face, decided to keep them on TGWTG.

Inked Reality is to its subject as Blistered Thumbs to vidya games, a bunch of overweight perma-virgins bleeting on about shit noone cares about. But this time them bitching about either comics, animu or reuploads of animations from newgrounds.

With the exception of their second poster boy, Linkara and Happy Harry, Inked Reality is populated by contributors no one watches, hence the rather sparse amount of names below...

Blistered Thumbs

Blistered Thumbs

Blistered Thumbs (previously named: Bored Shitless) was created when TGWTG decided they weren't ripping off AVGN enough. So realizing that the Internets really didn't give a shit about a review site unless the subject matter was video games, they desperately whored up a bunch of random video game reviewers from all over the Internet, the majority being ScrewAttack (an actually funny site when compared to Blistered Thumbs) rejects.

Since Doug has received far too many complaints from his cock worshippers, the admins have finally decided to give this pile of shit its own site. Ironically, however, more and more people are visiting TGWTG in order to watch this shit (probably because nobody cares about movies, just video games). So one can now notice Nostalgia Critic updates being rammed up the ass of visitors to the site because nobody gives a shit about Channel Awesome's precious leading manchild anymore. Angry Joe posted a video begging kids to copy/paste existing articles from better websites and rewrite them. They're not compensated for their work and they won't get any real credit for college or the actual journalistic field, but hey!, at least you could get know the staff from Channel Awesome and participate on their podcasts and crossover movies (a.k.a Shitassia 2: Electric Boogaloo).

As Blistered Thumbs own site has been launched it appear that nothing has change from the typical bullshit content we've seen time and time again. In response to this a thread was created on their forums asking for answers. In place of that we get mouth breathing tards who suckle the teats of their fellow creators. Even some of their staff gets involved in this mess. The OP tears open every asshole of fellow staff members in their home territory and much lulz ensues.

The site ultimately closed since it became clear that nobody gave a shit about it.

Notable current members

Linkara

Nuvola
Moar info: Linkara.

Angry Joe

Nuvola
Moar info: Angry Joe.

The rest

  • ToddInTheShadows - Todd Nathanson is a hideous creature from the swamps who needs to wear a mask in order to hide his ugly mug. Tries to come off with a Phantom of the Opera persona. Doesn't work. He is also a staunch anti #GamerGater and it doesn't take much to trigger him. Literally just Tweet to him. I support GamerGate and he'll fly off the wall
  • MikeJTV' - An unfunny retard who's gimmick is 9gag tier English jokes like drinking tea and saying m8. Reviews sequels because it's easy to tear into films that everyone knows are crap by just reading the title.
  • FilmBrain - An autist and with a speech impediment that forces him to extend the last vowel of every sentence. No one knows if he does this deliberately or if he was born with such an ear raping voice. Either way she should do everyone's ears a favour and put his tongue in a blender and go live in the woods.
  • Phelous - Canadian reviewer who reviews obscure games and is banging Spoony's good friend, Obscurious Lupa.
  • RapCritic - Token nigger. Reviews rap music, because that is what niggers like.
  • BradJones - Soft spoken because he constantly is being pleasured in the ass.
  • GuruLarry - Former e-beggar and television host. Reviews games that nobody cares about, as they were only released in England. Hates Darksydephil. link=http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Contributions/Guru Larry Guru Larry

Notable Ex-TGWTG Contributors

TheDistressedWatcher / TheAmazingAtheist

Nuvola
Moar info: TheAmazingAtheist.

REASON FOR DEPARTURE: Who really gives a flying fuck?

Finally, in the middle of September 2011, The Amazing Atheist had parted company with TGWTG. Leaving in a hissy-fit and bitching he left because TGWTG kept placing his videos at the bottom of their schedules and that they "only looked after their own". Soon after his depature, he went banana.

Angry Video Game Nerd

The Angry Video Game Nerd pictured with Tim Buckley and the cleaning lady's son.
Nuvola
Moar info: The Angry Video Game Nerd.

James Rolfe is the man that Doug Walker owes his entire existence to for ripping off his Angry Reviewing style. From a stupid crossover rivalry fight scene to a 30 second cameo in the biggest internet travesty possible, James has really shown how far off the deep end he's gone for self whoring. Still, James one day hopes to make a movie that is similar to Kickassia. On another note, you have to wonder how awkward it is when Guru Larry and The Game Heroes run into him whenever the folks at TGWTG invite James to a get together.

Spoony

Nuvola
Moar info: The Spoony Experiment.

Spoony was fired from TGWTG when his videos got too edgy for them to handle.

LittleKuriboh

Nuvola
Moar info: Littlekuriboh.

LittleKuriboh is the man responsible for Yu-Gi-Oh: The Abridged Series. He's also a big TGWTG fan boy and thought it would be great to do crossover videos with Spoony in order to get into the TGWTG family. In the end it backfired, but he still hopes to acquire another shot and a new flat chested waffu.

JewWario

Nuvola
Moar info: JewWario.

For the most part an unfunny, unnoticeable member of the crew, who eventually decided to depart from TGWTG in a memorable way.

Kickassia

Kickassia is the TGWTG's site attempt at celebrating its two year (jesus fucking christ, two years?) anniversary. It is exemplary of all the fail the website has to offer. So what is it? Strangely enough, it has nothing to do with reviewing shit no one cares about. It is instead a 6 part video event that miserably attempts to be funny by doing a GIANT COLLABORATION VIDEO WITH. EVERY. SINGLE. FUCKER. WHO HAS EVER APPEARED ON THE SITE. (except Dr. Ashens, as non-faggots were not invited). The entire thing is written by, directed by, and starring the god himself, Doug Walker. Ironically, when Doug later reviewed The Room, he remarked on how the same guy was writer, director, and star, saying, "Warning, people!")

Every single episode of Kickassia is a plodding, unfunny car crash of an internet "movie", based around a miserable grind of poorly written and poorly timed jokes. It succeeds only by showing everything that is wrong with Channel Awesome and how much of a talentless hack everyone is. No one in the entire video ever attempts to act but instead show what sad miserable fucks they're all truly are. A small example of this shit would be the Nostalgia Chick pretending to be Sarah Palin, forgetting she is about 2 years behind on the joke. Every other gag and, uh, plot element consists of inside jokes and references that have already been used dozens of times in regular reviews.

Clearly this was an epic that could only be told in six instalments (to make them moar monies on Blip).

One thing you can be sure of, though; just as night follows day, this "special event" is followed by unbearable commentary and crossover videos. At this point, TGWTG is like some kind of hideous, buck-toothed hydra that spawns ten new, awful videos each time a new awful video is uploaded.

Take DOUG & CREW PLAY DANCE MANIAX JPARADISE!!, for example, which is described as


   
 
Doug, Phelous, Benzaie and Spoony make complete fools of themselves playing one of the most fun dance games ive ever allowed myself to play! *Warning* Hilarious White Guy Movements!
 

 
 

Spoony.

As far as "White Guy Movements" are concerned, this one's a little less funny than the Ku Klux Klan. Besides, Benzaie's not white, he's French.

But, considering all the shitty movies these talentless fuckers "review" on the site, it would be highly ironic if one of them actually covered Kickassia. But don't hold your breath though, these faggots would rather slit their own throats than get their graven idol, Doug Walker butthurt.

Busy Street has also provided commentary tracks for the movie. Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6

Also check out their writers commentary tracks. Part 1

Its IMDB score: 6.4/10, up 1.1 over a few months. Keep up the vote spamming, fanboys!

Suburban Knights (alt. title: Kickassia II: Electric Boogaloo)

Because Kickassia wasn't enough, the idiots of TGWTG just made another shitty, unfunny movie to celebrate the three year anniversary of the site in which every single unimportant piece of TGWTG reviewer meat appears again. On the 21st June 2011 they released a trailer showing footage of the film and a bit of the story. The story is about a bunch of retards dressing up like gays who find a map which leads to a magic gauntlet... and that's it. The rest of the movie is just a bunch of assholes screaming and shouting mixed with crappy video effects. The movie will be released on the 27th June as a 7 Part Event till the 3rd July, and the inevitable DVD will be Otakun sniffed approved when the blip revenue won't be enough for TGWTG.com. The best thing about it is the fact the title is extremely catchy. And that really can't be called a merit to the actual film, which is pretty much a glorified LARP.

Oh, and That Dude in the Suede shows up in Part Five. And nobody gives a fuck.

On-Set Medical Situations: The Channel Awesome Kool-Aid

Last Thursday, self proclaimed internet reviewer of internet reviewers Asalieri had leaked to him an audio recording of some low-tier TGWTG members expressing their shock and astonishment over the fact that during filming of Suburban Knights, one of the female actors nearly fainted on set.

He was asked to keep this information private, so naturally he immediately shared this tidbit with the class, first posting the audio to YouTube, only to take it down a few hours later. His understanding of the incident was that the girl fainted due to being tied upside-down on a cross. Eventually some TGWTG forumites started a thread asking for an official response. Rob Walker initially stated that there was no truth to any of the claims, then a little later remembered that oh yeah, there was that one incident where a girl nearly fainted on set after being tied up with duct tape.

In his telling of events, she was tied right-side up. He said that he personally administered medical treatment (making his bout of amnesia over the incident somewhat questionable), which consisted in giving her some Gatorade and gently reminding her that she'd already signed a form releasing Channel Awesome from any liability. First Rob Walker and the other mods deleted half the comments on the thread, including Asalieri's (along with banning him and several others who'd commented), before later proceeding to Delete Fucking Everything due to "lack of focus on the real issues," lock the thread, and call it a successful PR exercise. And of course, that sparked attention for ED's favorite meta fatass, who probably went on ED and wrote this portion of the article.

Meanwhile, on the Dead Horse Interchange forums, amidst discussion and screencaps of the shitstorm on the TGWTG forums, Obscurus Lupa appeared out of nowhere to make a tl;dr post about how leaking the info to Asalieri amounted to "betrayal" on the part of the whistle-blower, thus confirming what had been clear to many for a long time: that Channel Awesome's operates like a cult. She said that she'd be closing ranks with Channel Awesome in shunning the whistle-blower, who if anyone cares is some guy named Matt whom she used to date.

To Boldly Flee (From This Movie)

What? This article needs moar backlash from this film's creation and revealing the NC dies.
You can help by adding moar backlash from this film's creation and revealing the NC dies.
It's called the "USS Exit Strategy". Seriously.

On June 26th 2012, TGWTG released a trailer for their impending 4th anniversary flop, ironically titled "To Boldly Flee". It was released the same summer.

While the title would've been retarded on its own, but after the events that led to SpoonyOne leaving TGWTG (after the movie was made BTW), it makes it sound a lot more fitting and lulzy.

The movie itself is a pathetic mishmash of the worst aspects of Star Trek, Dr Who, and Battlefield Earth starring Zod, Emperor of Planet Houston and a whole bunch of things ripped off of more successful films such as "Up". It attempts to ride the shirttails of its own "popularity" by regurgitating its own jokes out of context. This, of course, is very unfunny as most of the jokes were getting a little worn to start with and not having any context to help them pretty much shoots them all in the face.

The film is shot in Doug Walker's mother's basement. No, really. They actually try to work it into the plot by saying something about magical flying houses powered by Linkara's technomagic. It's also at least 60% crappy greenscreen with CGI that would be embarrassing in a high schooler's youtube film. There is zero budget and all the props that weren't previously made and used by other reviewers appear to be made mostly of cardboard and duct tape. This is a poor B-movie at best, and not even the hilariously bad kind. Go watch "Plan 9 from Outer Space" or "The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra" instead. You'll thank us. There is so little passion in the acting you can feel how jaded and abused the staff was through the film. Dealing with old ma Walker probably didn't help, either.

Pretty much Ma-ti possesses Spoony due to really stupid stuff they did in past films ripping a hole in reality known as the Plot Hole. So Nostalgia Critic summons all the reviewers who can stand to be in his presence (or owe him badly enough that they have no other choice), turn his mother's house into a spaceship and try to fix the Plot Hole. Emperor Zod is pissy because Battlefield Earth guy screwed up his part of the "Planet Houston" invasion (wait, wasn't he already self-proclaimed emperor of the world? Wat.) so he gets a space ship too and chases them. The only good part is that the Nostalgia Critic dies at the end. Sadly, it's not a satisfying death as the Nostalgia Critic, the guy forever played up on (and off) screen as a total self-absorbed asshole the universe would be better off with without, does a poorly-written "heroic sacrifice" to make the plot hole close.

If you couldn't tell from the ending, this was a multi-hour B-movie sendoff so Doug Walker could retire the Nostalgia Critic. Spoony leaves... and he gets nothing. A grating character is to be retired and he gets a movie special masquerading as yet another "Happy Anniversary" film. Needless to say, everyone was pissed, site staff included.

The Uncanny Valley

Buckle up, 2013's dwellers - your favourite dickheads are back. The fifth year anniversary movie is cumming hard and it's going to be called The Uncanny Valley. It is supposed to be an anthology, mostly centered around Skyrim and that early 90's Les Visiteurs movie. No comment, at least for now - new parts of the movie are still coming ashore, so we will get back to you as soon as we'll watch this piece of art. Spoilers: it's shit. First episode is a rip off of a Dexter's Laboratory episode with a misanthropic ending, the second is a lolcat apreciation video with a "plot" strapped to it, the third is a manual on how to be a Channel Awesome tard, the fourth is a documentary about two lonely britfags who accidently go on a gay date - because that's so original -, and the last is a no-bullying video.

Gallery

TGWTG people About missing Pics

Rule 34 Gallery

See Also

  • Doug Walker
  • Angry Video Game Nerd - Future acquisition for TGWTG after James realizes that ScrewAttack, being money grabbing cunts, have milked him for all his e-fame is worth.
  • Asalieri - Writes the negative things about them here, still to this day.
  • Irate Gamer - Although Blistered Thumbs had made some sort of joke video saying that they were going to add him very long ago, the funny part is that even Bores is too good for a site like that.
  • Mystery Science Theater 3000 - Another program featuring reviews of poorly constructed films, only actually funny.
  • ScrewAttack - Arch nemesis of TGWTG and the animal testing lab of contributors Mike Michaud liberates.
  • The Rapping Dog - See it for yourself.
  • Video Game Reviewers - Potential future Blistered Thumbs fodder.

External Links

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That Guy With The Glasses is part of a series on

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Visit the YouTube Portal for complete coverage.

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That Guy With The Glasses is part of the TGWTG Circle-jerk

Circlejerk: That Guy With The GlassesDoug WalkerJewWarioLinkaraThe Spoony ExperimentScrewAttack/Former TalentAngry Joe
Enemies: AsalieriScrewAttack
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