Killing Floor

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Typical Killing Floor gameplay

Killing Floor is the greatest British economics game of the 21st Century. One of the most troll infested first- person shooter games next to Team Fortress 2.The game is essentially what would happen if Left 4 Dead was crossed over with England, Creepypasta and Counter Strike: lulzy accents, pubfags and fucked up Britfag countryside. But actually, it's better than Left 4 Dead.

The game has been made popular over /v/ due to it being only played by hipsters because everyone else was busy playing Call of Duty.



Synchronised Jewry; one of the many events available to contestants in the KF Olympics.

This is actually what is heard and seen when playing Killing Floor. Keep in mind that there are only two three actors in the entire game - an overly British zombie survivalist, Tripwhore Interactive(Dev Team) vice-president and some annoying ass black chick who makes you pay for your weapons, even though there are a fuckton of zombies a minute away from you and that she is always safe behind metal bars. What a bitch. This is when teammates ask for money, usually because they suck and didn't earn enough. To guarantee the most lulz, dispense your money close enough to you so that others can see you doing this, but then collect it before anybody else can. By doing this you have now screwed your teammates and have distracted them long enough to prevent them from buying anything. Many of these players (consisting mostly of stupid-ass 10 year olds with mics) will soon rage and make asses of themselves; which means even MOAR lulz.-Some butthurt 10 year old will probably change this.

But for real: this game really is a better L4D and UK in one, except the zombies are more notorious trolls (invisible specimens, normal-sized enemies with a fuckton of HP, etc). It's really like you're in Britchan.

The whole point of the game is to hold off waves of specimens until you reach the final round where you face the Patriarch. This is when you get violently raped by some huge nerd with a fucking minigun coming out of his arm. After wasting over 9000 grenades on the Patriarch he eventually dies. It is at this point that you vote for another map. That's pretty much the entire objective of the game.

Your team will usually consist of (a guy without a mic, a troll, 10 year old kid, you, and another troll,- sometimes a furfag) based on the number of people playing on the server there may be more or less of all the aforementioned players.

The Specimens

There are several different specimens in the game, most of all of which are naked. However, their genitals have been cut off so no ingame fapping for you sick fucks.

  • Clot: Pale former /b/tards who have retained their urges to grope and fondle any human being they come in contact with. They are slow, die with a single head shot, and their only means of attacking is to grab you and dry hump your leg, unless you're playing as a berserker in which case they suddenly suffer from a bad case of hover hand. If you manage to get killed by one of these things you are a fucking retard.
  • Gorefast: Christ that's a bloody great knife! Slightly more dangerous than the Clot because he's got a fucking giant knife instead of an arm, and will fucking charge at you for no reason, but still pretty much harmless.
  • Bloat: Fat naked mother fucker who runs around with a meat cleaver barfing all over people kind of like you do when you come in contact with women. Shooting him in the head decapitates him making him pretty much harmless unless you do something stupid like try to run up and kill him or let him cut you with his cleaver.
  • Crawler: Midget nigger trolls on crack who crawl around on all fours and jump you when you get close. They excel at trolling people who are too fucking stupid to look down.
  • Stalker: Hot partially invisible naked chicks who slap the shit out of you. Commandos get a perk that lets them see them more easily when they're invisible, but it's pretty much pointless since even a blind man can see them from halfway across the map.
  • Siren: Loud feminazis on their periods who won't STFU and go back to the kitchen. Usually cause mass rage quits when they show up by blinding (yes blinding) everyone and bypassing their armor completely with their attacks. Trolls players by breaking any explosives used against them.
  • Husk: Badass motherfuckers who shoots fireballs at you from like 3000 miles away that do a shit load of damage over time. Takes forever to kill unless you aim for their heads, in which case it takes slightly less time than forever.
  • Scrake: Wannabe leatherface. Hitting him with the Katana or Chainsaw causes him to pelvic thrust himself to death
  • Flesh Pound: Giant angry nigger with that visor thing from Star Trek and blenders for hands. Uses the blenders to fist you and your teammates to death. Usually causes everyone to rage quit because they're too fucking stupid to shoot it. Protip: Trap your teammates with a flesh pound by welding doors. Butthurt usually ensues.

The Twisted Christmas Update

On December 14, 2010, Tripwhore Interactive released a hueg update for Killing Floor; a Christmas themed zombie specimens slaughter.
You were given a chance to rape elves, fat Santa fags and Gingerbread men. The models didn't change jack shit, so it's just for the lulz.

Poopers gonna poop!
  • Santa's Helper: Same old clot dressed in elf clothes and iron'd face. Also fucked up ears.
  • Gingerfast: A fucking Gingerbread Man with a razor sharp candy cane.
  • Santa Bloat: Fat Santa with apert's syndrome and Peptic ulcer.
  • Christmas Siren: Regular Siren with a dress, and instead of belts, she is tied up with christmas decorations.
  • Nutpound: Fleshpound turned into a huge fucking nutcracker replica. Blenders replaced with candy cane drills. He can still fist you.
  • Evil Santa: Kevin's uncle, who got so much AIDS, he had to amputate and replace 90% of his body with robotic shit. Carries a bag full of bullets and constantly says unfunny shit.



Some stupid ass britfag scientists led by pretty cool guy Kevin Clamely decided to fuck around with people. Kevin didn't have any people to fuck with, until his son died and he started cloning his corpse into live beings. Everything was fine until scientologists started beating down his office door. He went apeshit and released the specimens. They raped the lab staff and then the entire fucking Europe. Then atleast 100 British Ramboes were sent to rip and tear the specimens. Kevin got butthurt, so he told the remaining lab staff to turn him into a Patriarch. They mounted a chaingun on his arm, and added some tentacles to his body. They also gave him 3-use healing syringes. Kevin became extremely pedophile to his creations and started calling them children.

Killing Floor + TF2 crossover drama

Thanks to Valve's love for hats, Christmas 2010 saw KF and TF2 owners getting moar useless cosmetic shit in the world famous hat simulator. Killing Floor on the other hand had Chrimbo shit shat out all over it - zombie elves, evil santa, etc... Not to mention a swarm of aspies buying KF just for virtual hats. When this happened, the game was inevitably filled with retards who couldn't handle their own team, those involved eventually responsible for the losses of thousands of game rounds. Did I mention you can play as the pyro in KF if you have TF2??


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