K-pop

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Fans listen to it for the plot
According to the rest of the world, this is the only pop artist in South Korea
File:K pop 4minute 504.gif
All the bouncing is a waste of their time when none of them have any tit
No exceptions.

K-pop (also known as Korean pop music or "the generals spammed on /mu/ every day") is what the Korean equivalent of weeaboos listen to when not fapping to the identical-looking girls in K-pop music videos. The vast majority of fans will not admit that they really want to be the girls in the videos. Fans of K-pop will viciously defend their surgically altered waifus and repeatedly claim that K-pop is ZOMG totally not the same as that bland, overly-sexualized & corporate-owned American pop - with its talentless and forgettable artists who don't even write their own material. In fact their beloved K-pop is typically written by the same people and contains exactly the same cliched lyrics about love/being cheated on, mandated rapping that has no place in the song, stupid dances devised to try and make the shit go viral and focus on the sexuality/fashion of the artists rather than the quality of the actual music. In K-pop there are a great many boy bands and girl groups made up of talentless and forgettable singers essentially owned by the music company that writes all their songs. These songs as mentioned previously will often feature rapping sections that in Western music would be performed by some coked-out nigger like Kanye West or Lil Wayne; K-pop will instead feature a native who can't rap. So if the song inevitably sucks, at least it wasn't tainted by the presence of a darkie. The artists are so faceless (sometimes literally, thanks to all the plastic surgery) that if they refuse to suck off their producers in a bathhouse they could be killed & replaced by another person and none of their fans would notice due to all Koreans looking/sounding exactly alike. Clearly, K-pop is nothing like generic pop music.

The Music

Just like Koreans, all K-pop sounds the same. This is because the music in South Korea, just like cellphones, cars, and souls, is treated as a commodity. Management groups owned by large conglomerates either have rights to an artist's soul or bundle up a random bunch of asians into a group like a Costco value pack. Groups are chosen based on looks alone. All members are taught how to dance and look sexy while lip-syncing their dubbed or auto-tuned lines. The companies decide what they sing, what they wear during concerts and photo shoots, how they act in public, and how much semen they must swallow from stock holders before their contract is renewed (This applies to both the male and female artists). To make more monies, the companies will take random members of a group and create a "sub-unit" which sings the same shit as the regular group but under a different name, thus creating the musical equivalent of DLC. The only variety in K-pop is whether the bland studio-produced song is sung by an ultra faggy male idol, a young,skinny,light-skinned female idol, a girl group made up of said idols, or a hyper feminine boy band that makes Visual Kei look masculine by comparison. When a member complains that they want to be taken seriously, they are laughed out of the studio, replaced, and sacrificed to ensure next year's crop of nappa cabbage is plenty.

The Bands

Your average K-pop group
These men are perfectly straight

To reflect the fact that they are owned by their corporate overlords, kpop groups are categorized by ridiculous group names that sound like serial codes you would find on a price scanner after tagging an item at Walmart or stock names you would see on the NasDaq. Examples include:


  • T-Ara
  • 2NE1
  • UKISS
  • MBLAQ
  • BAQX
  • LEDApple
  • 4Minute
  • B1A4
  • BTS
  • 5T1ME
  • Girl's Generation
  • FT Island
  • KIM-T
  • BEAST
  • CNBlue


At least 3 of those names were made up. Can you guess which ones?

The Fans

K-pop fans are the musical equivalent of PewDiepie's audience and will viciously defend their genre and fapping material to the death. They swarm /mu/ like a pack of socially-inept locusts, posting K-pop generals left and right in order to impress the hipsters lurking the board with their "unique" tastes. K-pop fans are mainly korean weeaboos (Koreaboo) who try to stand out from the crowd of other ronery, anime-obsessed, basement dwellers by latching onto the culture of another asian country that isn't Japan. What many of them don't know is that, like most idols and boy bands, K-pop is mostly marketed to a tween audience comprising of 14 year old Korean girls. In other words, K-pop fans don't realize that they are the equivalent of Chinese manchildren fapping to One Direction. The K-pop fandom is comprised mainly of: people who are actually Korean, Koreaboos, ronery men with yellow fever, fat twilight fangirls who drool over the hyper-faggy boy groups, and Filipinos who wish they looked more like the asian people in the music video rather than being the ugly asian bastard race.

also if you dare to make fun of their shitty """music genre"" they will attack you by sending you fancams and insult you.

Jenny Hyun

Last Thursday, a songwriter who wrote singles for groups like Girl's Generation named Jenny Hyun was scouring the interwebs for western pop songs she could steal when she came across pol. After browsing the board for less than 1.4 seconds, she became a nigger-hating, Korean nationalist who fought to maintain South Korea's racial purity from the evil forces of dark-skinned diversity. In response to a tweet made by professional boxer Floyd Mayweather about why some asian guy becoming a pro-basketball player was big news when black people do it all the time, Hyun responded rationally to his dumb comment by declaring the eradication of the black race. Below is a compilation of her Nuremberg speech. Meanwhile on the K-pop scene, There is much anticipation over her new upcoming singles "HEIL★HEIL★HEIL♥HITLER-STYLE!" and "깜둥이가 다이 다이!".

Even Chinks hate Niggers which would explain their many differences.

Asians are intelligent and docile. Niggers are stupid and wild. Asians have an interesting, high-tech culture. Niggers have an cannibalistic culture. Asians have small dicks. Niggers have big dicks. Asians have small lips. Niggers have huge lips. Asians love each other. Niggers hate each other. Asians are warm and welcoming. Niggers are aggressive and abrasive. Asians have small and squinty eyes. Niggers have big/ugly googly eyes.

Both are subhuman scum as neither of them are Caucasian. Mongolians slightly resemble monkeys whereas the Negroid DNA IS 69% monkey, which explains their urgent need for sex. As a punishment God gave them pubes on their heads, read more in Nigger.

Niggers promote all white kids to be either; Wiggers, Thugs, Slackers or Douchebags while on the other hand Asians promote white kids to become; Heathens, Weeaboos, Koreaboos, Nintendofags or Demonic Buddhists. ALL allowed and encouraged by the subhuman Jewish assholes.

Mexicans perspective on Asians and Niggers. Hope you enjoyed!

Jennyhyunmeltdown.jpg

After the media fiasco, Hyun responded with the following:


   
 
I regret nothing
 

 
 

—Jenny Hyun

Videos


The following videos will make you question your sexuality


See Also

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K-pop is part of a series on

Music

Visit the Music Portal for complete coverage.

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K-pop is related to a series on AZNS.

[Domo ArigatoHerrow]

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Featured article August 18th & 19th, 2014
Preceded by
HowToBasic
K-pop Succeeded by
Zoe Quinn