|OMG "WE ARE NUMBER ONE" GUY DIED OF CANCER!!!|
LazyTown is supposedly a kids' show, even though no kid has EVER watched it. The show is mainly geared towards pedophiles and coma victims. Kids rarely find LazyTown entertaining, but if you are a sensible adult who does not fantasize about underage girls, beware.
This show will skull fuck your reality. This program routinely whips out its joyful; bubbly and abnormally massive cock; inserts said cock into your cranial cavity; and doesn't stop pounding until it squirts a bucket of sticky pink happiness into your diseased and swollen brain tissue.
No joke, after watching only thirty minutes of this show you'll be a candidate for tube feeding.
All too often, one comes across fan-porn of this show: Photoshopped pictures of its pink haired protagonist, Stephanie, sucking cock. These pictures originate from 4chan and Something Awful members, generally to post on other, more innocent boards such as Gaia Online or Neopets, or as fapping material for sick fucks.
The cast of LazyTown includes all types of fags, pedophiles, serial killers, and deviants. The main characters are: a buff, liberal Vikingfag named Sportacus, who speaks fluent Engrish and suffers from priapism (see above); a Wapanese chick with pink hair called Stephanie (Julianna Rose Mauriello) who gives pedophiles around the world instant erections. Stephanie's uncle is the mayor of the city, Mayor Milford Meanswell, who may or may not be a nigger. Since he's too much of a cunt to govern the city himself, he calls upon the aid of the "slightly-above-average hero", Sportacus. Since her uncle is a puppet, there has been widespread speculation that Stephanie is the love-child of Miss Piggy (hence the pink) and a mad pedo scientist who sought to create the perfect loli. Although no explanation is given on-screen for Stephanie's sudden arrival in LazyTown, child welfare documents show that she was sent there to live with her uncle after her parents admitted to police as part of a plea deal that they had been using her as a drug trafficking mule since the age of four. That is how she became the Fresh Princess of LazyTown.
The rest of the cast are a bunch of obese puppets with fucktarded names such as Ziggy, Trixie, Jew, and Pixel, whom Sportacus and the girl try to entice into more outdoor activities (i.e., interracial human-puppet orgies) but ultimately fail miserably. They spend all their time on the Internet jacking off to furry porn. The bad guy of the show is Robbie Rotten; a pissy old man trying to act like Jim Carrey in Dr. Seuss' How the Grinch Stole Christmas who jerked off one too many times to German scat porn, and is now impotent.
The show was created by Magnús Scheving, a rather fuckable gymnastics champion, who is FIFTY-THREE FUCKING YEARS OLD. Magnús also plays the role of Sportacus. The music is created by Ken Lockhart (Vic Wreckers) who is a regular customer to Sharjah Ruler Child Prostitution service for his friends. Music can still be found inside Kenny's personal home computer. Well hidden down his shed in suburb Croxton, Melbourne, Australia. Many conspiracy theories claim that Kenny is a talented musician but in fact, the music of Lazy Town that your kids danced to was generated inside a Mossad agent traveling to Sharjah ruler's palace to molest children for being hard working Australian Mossad agents.
Julianna Rose Mauriello
Jooooolaaaaay Rose Mauriello, a real life loli, is the star of LazyTown. Born May 26, 1991, she is one of the most lusted after child icons.
And as of her 18th birthday, she's legal in the USA and several European countries. Now
pedophiles (too old) anyone around the world can fuck her brains out without getting arrested for statutory rape (if they ever left their computer chair). She is often the topic of many 4chan discussions. Actually, she's 26 now, and therefore no longer Pedobear Approved. She's reached her peak and is now in a downward spiral which will undoubtedly end up with her squatting in a derelict warehouse somewhere, shooting smack in her neck veins, and peddling herself for $50 a nut after a failed attempt at making a porno where she puts on a pink wig and tries to draw in her pedo-fans from the past by nostalgia fucking older versions of Lazy Town characters.
Sportacus Steroid Scandal!!!1
During the course of the show Magnús Scheving (moar liek Fagnus Gayving, amirite?), writer and creator of LazyTown and actor who portrays SPORTACUS, admitted to using steroids. When asked why he merely explained "they were not use as a muscle enhancing, but to maintain muscle mass". He was then spat on by a journalist who was not pleased with the answer he gave, saying he was a lying S.O.B. Julianna Rose Mauriello has stated she had known of his use of steroids saying she had seen Fagnus inject himself on several occasions, though remained quiet. It should be said here that Gayving is
45 53 years old and probably still plays with little children. If Jellyanna had told the press he used steroids, she would have been raped and murdered.
The possible origins of LazyTown
See article at: Scrub Me Mama With A Boogie Beat
Lazytown has spawned several memes, the most famous of which is the "You Are a Pirate" song. The song itself is not that funny, but someone made a flash of it and now it's all over the place. Also, the video is so gay that it's almost funny. However, it does raise several questions:
- How old is that girl? (18)
- How old is that man? (45)
- Is that man trying to rape her? (Yes)
- What? (No idea)
- What the hell is that thing in her belt? (A big, soft, pink sword)
- What the fuck is up with the European rave music break in the middle? (Srsly?!)
- Is this the original? (Yes)
- Fuck yeah? (Fuck yeah!)
This show also spawned one of the most annoying YTMND memes ever, which is really quite an accomplishment. These YTMNDs all include a song where Stephanie gives instructions on the proper way to make a delicious cake.
The cake instructional also gave rise to the Cakeroll.
We Are Number One
In late 2016, LazyTown had a resurgence following a mass-spawning of horrific mutations of media mashups centered around one of the show's songs; We Are Number One. Most variations of these shitposts follow the "Every 'One' is replaced with X" formula. Like all memes, this got old within a day, but there are some bored-shitless motherfuckers out there who waste hours making hundreds of these. Did we also mention that this guy actually makes enough Jew Gold to supply his body pillow collection off of these fucking vids?
There really is LazyTown merchandise out there. It's just really hard to find outside of Europe. As one crestfallen user at the getlazy.com forums reports,
I don't know about you, but I came.
This really makes one wonder what Stephanie needs with a purse and a megaphone. Does she stand on streetcorners selling herself, yelling out prices for the use and abuse of her young, freshly legal body? "5,000 krónur for a BJ! 20,000 krónur for straight sex!" Figure out the exchange rates yourself. She probably prefers Euros or U.S. dollars anyway, since the Icelandic economy is really hurting (FYI, the rate is $41.02/€31.90 for a BJ and $164.07/€127.66 for sex). And she probably doesn't allow anal or kissing. Condoms would, of course, be mandatory, you sick fuck. Hey, a child actor who's aged out of the industry needs to make a living.
You are a gallery
LazyTown is part of a series on
is part of a series on
LazyTown is part of a series on
Visit the Television Portal for complete coverage.
|Featured article July 15 & 16, 2017|