Lebanon

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Flag of the Persian Empire - Lebanon is its colony
Flag of the shi'a militia calling the shots in Lebanon
Flag of Lebanon

In the Syrian Social National Party Map, Lebanon is cleverly hidden! Can you find Waldo? If not, congratulations! You are probably a proud citizen of Dumbfuckistan.

Lebanon (not to be confused with Lesbian) is a giant terrorist training camp run by Syria and Iran. It is constantly bitching about how no one likes it. Home to such groups as Hezbollah, The Palestinian Liberation Jewish-disposal Organization, and Armed Christian Fascist militias, Lebanon is a diverse and multicultural terrorist hotbed. Lebanese pride themselves in being the only democratic Arab state. Ask them about Tunisian democracy and they'll answer it doesn't count, because the former are primitive desert Berbers - not pure Arabs like them.

Also home to one of the most annoying and hypocritical people on this planet, it has become nothing but a vast, mostly refugee-inhabited trash dumping ground for neighboring Syria and Iran, save for the occasional attack initiated by it's lovely BFF, Israel. The Lebanese are self-destructive, obnoxious and uptight. They will slam you for merely questioning the peace and prosperity they claim is widespread in Lebanon, all while cursing the hour it was founded, ALL in the same breath. Some of these clowns will blatantly deny their Arab ancestry; instead referring to themselves as "Phoenicians".

Due to its close proximity to the Israhelli-Failistinian conflict and the Syrian catfight, Lebanon has frequently been the first option for Palestinian and Syrian terrorists refugees to seek shelter in. Much to their surprise, their so-called "Arab brothers" would mistreat them nearly every bit as bad as the Jews and Assad had. But instead of just massacring them, the terrorists are relegated to overcrowded concentration refugee camps in the poorest, most unhygienic parts of the country, while the Lebanese hope that the overwhelming amount of pathogens spreading from body to body will simply exterminate the fuckers so they don't have to move a finger. That is how Arabs display love towards each other.

Continuous butt-rape

Typical Lebanese street

Lebanese have had an identity crisis since the dawn of man. Since Lebanese are made up of over 9000 different batshit insane religious, sectarian and feudal parties, they're always raping the hell out of each other. Often, a few of these groups manage to form a truce in order to secretely invite a neighboring power to wipe out other groups. This being said, Lebanon is one of the lulziest places on Earth. the Israelis and Palestinians also help with the drama, sometimes adding extra fun to the mix. Lebanon is a recommended tourist attraction known for its cultured, tolerant and Western-loving people.

Lebanon gained its not-so-hard fought independence from France when the French simply forgot about the shithole following World War II. It lived in peace until it decided to join the Arab Zerg Rush against Israel hours after it was established by the Jews. These Zionist devils, brainwashed by the Holocaust stories, rammed them hard, tearing new wound-pussies wherever they pleased. Surrounded by Israel from the South, it has been repeatedly assrammed by Israel since. Troubles started when Palestinian terrorists came into Lebanon to launch attacks on Israel in their attempts to solve the Middle East problem once and for all. Israel did not appreciate this, and invaded Lebanon with its brutally efficient armed forces, peppering the land with millions of high-tech smart ammunition rounds designed to redecorate the whole country. Of course, the Jews also had tanks, jets, mobile artillery, gunboats and all the usual shit that civilized nations have when going to war. This caused enormous butthurt to flow through the ranks of the ragtag Palestinian guerillas, armed as they were with rusty Soviet rifles and shitloads of Korans. Despite this, the Muslims continued harassing the Jews, apparently not having learned their lesson. Moreover, as if it wasn't bad enough already, Lebanon proceeded to Goatse itself and got raped hard by Syria in what was called the "Lebanese Civil War", where basically Muzzies and Christfags initiated hostile frottage against each other over their beliefs until complete exhaustion ensued.

In 2006, the Lebanese group Hezbollah defended Lebanon from Israel by sneaking across the border, capturing two soldiers and firing rusty rockets at Jewish towns. Israel, thinking "WTF? This again?", decided to teach the sandniggers a lesson by carpet bombing the southern half of Lebanon and then sending in massive armored columns to finish off the charred, smoking survivors. As predicted, the Israelis tore new holes in Lebanon while raping it. Practically all of South Lebanon got flattened during the war, 2,000 Hezbofags and their Lebanese fanbois died, Hezbollah's chique headquarters and its neighborhood in Beirut were completely pulverized, most of Hezbollah's fancy Iranian rockets got destroyed, and Israel captured 10 miles of Southern Lebanon. However, 159 Israelis died, 5 tanks were lost and there was some damage to Northern Israel, including giant forest fires caused by Russkie-made Hezbollah rockets. The natural response for Hezbollah in this case was to put their hands up in the air and shout "WE WIN!!!!!!!! ALLAH AKBAR!!!!!!!" (It's a sandnigger thing).

Syria claimed that Lebanon was a natural part of its land. Seeing Lebanon as it's private garden, Syria was always there for Lebanon during times of tragic crises... but not anymore, as it is collapsing under the weight of both the enlightened ISIS progressive social revolution and the McKurd 'Murica lovin' nationalists. Lebanese are divided into Shi'a Muslims and Sunni Muslims, who hate each other passionately, but have long ago forgotten why. Both sects would like to see a return to the fundamental values of the Prophet Muhammad. There is also a very large population of Christians who fap to images of Nicolas Sarkozy and French bread. They like to imagine that they are 100% Western. Muslims (both Sunni and Shi'a) love to troll them by reminding them that they are, in fact, dirty Arabs and would immediately be recognized as such by any self-respecting European. This generates immense drama and may even one day set off a fresh civil war!

Lebanon is famous for its unique cuisine. Food like kebbeh, tabouleh and other delicacies.

Lebanese cuisine

Lebanon is also home to the Iranian Democratic Party of Allah. Israel is a big fan of Hezbollah and the two constantly tease each other with silly games to keep us all entertained. Hezbollah believes that Jews are the evil offspring of pig and monkeys, as if we didn't know that already...

On November 12, 2015, Lebanon's capital, Beirut (which is largely unknown despite being the sluttiest city in the entire Middle East) was hit by a double suicide-attack. The Lebanese, being the whiny attention whores they usually are, demanded they be acknowledged and pitied as much as Paris. But everyone knows that, deep inside, no one gives a fuck about those dirty Arabs, as they'll probably just continue bombing each other either way. This caused outrage within the Lebanese community (boohoo!).

Lebanese women are hot, and their natural beauty is an awe to behold.

tl;dr All Lebanese are special. They can never make up their mind about what they want to be, making them potential drama targets no matter who they are.

Culture

In Lebanon, you have to respect local culture and customs. This short list will guide you into familiarizing yourself moar with teh best Muzzies eva!

Using these phrases properly will make you an instant Lebanese Winrar! Proper Lebanese ladies will shower you with respect and you'll be a valuable member of the community in no time!

Trolling Lebanese

Lebanese are all emos. Trolling them is very easy and well worth the laugh.

  • Brag how Syria is a great country and that Lebanon is one of Syria's most beautiful cities.
  • If confronted by a Christian Lebanese, argue that Lebanon is Arab and Arabs are Muslims.
  • If confronted by a Muslim Lebanese, complain how Christians are a majority in Lebanon yet they still don't get enough rights.
  • If confronted by a Druze Lebanese, simply tell them they're deviant Muslims who are going to burn in hell.
  • If confronted by a Alawite Lebanese, tell them that they are not Muslim and call them mountain niggers
  • Claim that Lebanon doesn't exist on map, and that the one you see is there for UN conformance purposes only.
  • Declare that Lebanese are disabled and retarded since birth, thus the need for external countries to continuously pamper them.
  • Remind them that Lebanon is not the only Arab country to get snow every winter - Syria and Iraq get plenty of that, as well.
  • Call their mothers Lesbaneses.
  • Remind them about 1975 .
  • Tell them that Lebanon would be shit, if it was not for the Palestinian and Syrian refugees enriching their country.
  • Tell them that Israel kicked their asses in 1982, 2006, and 2010.
  • Say that Lebanon is just another colony of Iran.
  • Call them Arabs in denial.
  • Tell them that if Lebanon is so great, why do most Lebanese people prefer living in the shithole of Brazil?
  • "Why do you guys put shawarma in the toaster?"
  • Tell them that Israel invented (insert Lebanese dish here).
  • Tell them that Lebanon is the gay capital in the Middle East (which it actually is)

Fun things to do in Lebanon

  • Watch pirated pr0n
  • Troll disenfranchised, poor Palestinians (They are all piss poor).
  • Spy for Mossad and amass Jew Gold!!
  • Pretend you are in a Western country (Note: this may be dangerous to your mental and physical health)
  • Get raped
  • Watch serious political talk shows
  • Become a licensed Terrorist (Note: you will need a Iranian certificate of non-jewishness for this, but their bureaucracy is slow. Better to just pay a Jew to make a counterfeit.)
  • Get blown up
  • Rape women (fun rite?!)
  • Shoot at spying Israeli airplanes

Famous Lebanese Syrian people

In accordance with Megan's law we are obligated to tell you that the above are secks offenders

See Also


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