|KEEP IT SIMPLE, STUPID!
Originally devised over the Memorial Day weekend of 2010, Lemon Pudding is a series of copypasta that trolls use to fuck up Hey Arnold! threads on 4chan's /co/ board. They usually involve one character fucking another, shitting into open wounds, and terribad grammar. This has been proven time and time again a great way to troll the manchildren who try to actually talk about Hey Arnold.
- 1 The Original
- 2 MOAR
- 2.1 Gerald
- 2.2 Stoop Kid
- 2.3 Curly
- 2.4 Steely Phil
- 2.5 Cid
- 2.6 Lila
- 2.7 Helga
- 2.8 Grandma
- 2.9 Olga
- 2.10 Lila?
- 2.11 Mr. Hyunh
- 2.12 Monkey Man
- 2.13 Sad Helga
- 2.14 Arnold
- 2.15 Big Patty
- 2.16 Arnie
- 2.17 Principle Warts
- 2.18 Arnold (not by the original author)
- 2.19 Phoebe
- 2.20 Harold
- 2.21 Oscar
- 2.22 Oskar (not by the original author)
- 2.23 Sheena
- 2.24 Brainy
- 2.25 The Jolly Olly Man
- 2.26 Miriam
- 2.27 Ernie
- 2.28 Lost to Time
surprisingly, for a boy named stinky, his anus smelled of the sweetest perfume. this was likely due to his habit of filling it with delicious lemon pudding. one day while full to the brim, stinky decided to take a nice long walk down to ps 118 to see if he couldn't pinch his lemony load in the sink of the girls bathroom. the thought of this full him with glee. just the hint of the idea of a girl breathing in the vapors of his bunghole butter made his toes curl with unearthly delight. unfortunately, while passing the boarding house, something pink and soft darted out between his legs! it was arnold's pig, abner. his sudden appearance caused stinky to trip. as he fell, the smallest trickle of lemon pudding escaped from his pearly pink shitcave. abner smelled it at once and immediately began to rummage through stinky's cavern of carnal pleasures. feeling abners snout fully lodged in his anus, stinky had a brilliant idea. he bit onto the concrete and squeezed his anus as hard as he could. shit and lemon pudding went through abners system so fast that he shot tiny diamonds of pig shit all over the neighbor hood. an especially sloppy loaf struck a nearbye window, hitting my kokashka on the foreskin. his wife later got an infected from the anal sex that ensued and sued stinky for 5000 dollars.he lost his house and had to resort to turning tricks on the street just to keep the bank from taking his lemon pudding, his delicious lemon pudding. and yes, the whole situation really bites.
gerald's penis flopped across arnolds face like an aids infested weasel of love. arnold bobbed and weaved, trying to catch it in his mouth, but gerald's penis was so nimble that arnold could not catch hold of it. without warning, gerald shot a load of bloodied pink cum across arnolds face. the heat of it made arnold feel light headed. seeing arnold's eyes rolling back gerald took the opportunity to grab his friend by the shoulders and squat a greasy shit into his mouth. the turd went directly into arnold's throat, blocking his airways. arnold panicked, pulling the grisly shit into his lungs. as he suffocated he felt that the world was shaking. but it was only gerald fucking him in his boy pussy.
As read by a total fag:
stoop kid rubbed his testicles across the cold concrete that was his stoop to him it was the concrete womb of the mother he never knew every day he would piss in a corner of the stoop and lay in the puddle later for warmth. today, as was his habit, he was rubbing his naked shame stick on the concrete and imagining that he could part the stairs and fuck the stoop. that was when he noticed the loose piece of masonry. a penis shaped rock was jutting out of his beloved stoop, though he was saddened at the degradation of his stoop, stoopkid could not help but immediately plunge himself upon it it ripped through his anus, shredding his intestine like pink toilet paper, his blood ran out and onto his hairless balls. all the other kids of the city began to gather around an watch in horror. stoop kids intestines were pouring out of his anus, down the stairs of his beloved stoop. though the pain was unbearable, his real fear was his distended anus leaving the safety of his stoop. as though at the command of his though, a solitary turd floated down the stream of his blood on to the pavement below. he looked at it, like a little Hispanic version of himself and jumped off of his stoop into the path of an oncoming bus.
curly quivered with ecstasy and fear. he wondered how long it would be before chocolate boy would discover that the contents of curly's anus was not at all chocolate. chocolate boys shit slicked tongue darted left to right, turning curly's shit into a frothy paste, chocolate boy then scooped some shit out and rubbed all over his mangled penis. curly watched in awe as chocolate boy bent his penis into a pretzel shape and beat it with a shoe this apparently cause chocolate boy immense pleasure as he instantly shot a shit scented load of boiling cum onto curly's glasses. enraged, curly jammed his cock down chocolate boys throat. the shit in his mouth caused chocolate boy to heave. curly soon found that his penis was floating in a mouth full of bubbling vomit. this pleased him immensely. he reached backwards grabbing and smearing the shit from his ass all over chocolate boys face. chocolate boy then touched curly's shit and smelled his rancid fingers "hey, this isn't chocolate, you lied to me!" then chocolate boy put on his pants and walked home angrily.
"oh pookie" said grandpa as he slid his flaccid penis into her grotesque, sinewy snatch. the inside felt like worn leather sprinkled with salt. she farted as he began to thrust. it smelled of old milk and cool aid. grandpas old man nipples began to vibrate and rotate with the motion of his pumping like two bulbous milk duds on a veiny string. as he came, he momentarily imagined his missing daughter, as he always did. he then defecated on the bed and died.
Rhonda's cunt was completely and utterly destroyed Cid's massive nose had broken it beyond compare. every thrust he made into her bloody, shredded cervix spread the wound farther up her body. eventually, the ragged red tear moved up between her budding breasts. a speck of dust flew into cid's nose, causing him to sneeze. this caused rhonda to split entirely in half. cid saw this as a tremendous opportunity. he removed rhonda's bubbling innards and wore her skin like a shit smeared snuggie. he ran out into the road in his rhonda disguise and invited the first man he met to fucking anally. that man of course was Big Bog Pataki. His calloused cock ripped Cid's anus so wide that he could have shat pancakes. bob thrust harder and deeper, the vein on his neck growing tremendously in size. that was when he notices the bloody skin sliding off of cid's back. "you little faggot!" he screamed, realizing he was fucking a boy. "i'm not paying money for this!" he was so enraged that the vein in his neck burst, causing a fatal anurism. in fear, cid fled the scene, pulling big bob and his cock behind him the entire way.
lila writhed in agony on her fathers cock it was so hard that it felt to lila that she was shoving several bricks into her tiny vaginy. it hurts father! she wailed. it hurts oh so very much! her father did not respond, in his dreaming mind he was fucking his beloved wife that had passed away oh so many lonely years ago. all he heard was "harder dear, deeper too!" he pressed so hard he could have sworn he heard the floor boards breaking looking down he saw a torrent of blood spilling from the mangled crevice that was once his daughters vagina. "i don't like-like this daddy!" lila cried.
lila's father turned her over and prepared to enter her anus. "too bad" was his only response
"just my luck!" helga screamed as she wrestled the steaming turd out of the public school toilet. "arnold ate corn again today!" helga hated corn, each time she attempted to add corned poop to her shrine of arnold's shit, it eventually crumbled, causing a terrible mess. "well, can't let it go to waste" knowing it would be a poor addition to the shrine helga began to cradle it like a baby. eventually licking it all over and sliding it into her mucous slicked vagina. her unibrow twitched as a piece of corn shot off into her cervix. she imagined it was arnold's seed. as she came, she thought of big bob. then she began to cry.
"make me cum watermelon's you little nigger!" arnold's grandmother screamed as she proceeded to rape gerald. his cock was flacid with fear, but her dry vaginal lips were so loose that he could have probably fucked her from 3 feet away. her labia hung low like hairy purse straps, slapping gerald on the stomach as he tried to crawl away in fear "giddie up sambo! we're going down the Mississippi, the chocolate river!" she cackled as she farted onto gerald's face. the smell was so terrible that gerald shit into his hand and shoved it into his mouth to improve the taste he was tasting. grandpa walked into the room and began to have palpitations. as he died from shock, shit and piss fled his body and slid down his leg into his shoe. granny removed this shoe and used to beat gerald's balls from behind. gerald came blood onto the snarled white pubes on her stomach and with that, granny died as well. she shat out gerald's cock. acting as a cork does on a bottle of champagne, gerald's cock was followed by a torrent of shitty, pissy, bloody goop.
being the perfect daughter, Olga could not help but swallow her father's load without warning, big bob slapped her across the face, Olga pleaded "but i swallow it all this time!" "yeah, but sometime I like to slap you for the hell of it!" his penis flopped onto her forehead, the stench of his balls causing her to vomit Olga's perfect vomit, which smelled of citrus and marshmallows, flowed into big bob's anus, mixing with his shit and Miriam's fingernail clippings. Without hesitation, Big bob turned around in anger and shot the fluid back out on to olga's face. being the perfect daughter, olga felt obliged to swallow it all.
arnold could not believe his eyes, lilah had broken into his room in the dead of night and was rubbing his penis allover her asshole. arnold went to flip on the light but lilah grabbed his arm and placed it on her breasts. arnold wondered why she insisted on doing it in the dark but the feel of her warm, enveloping flesh on his lopsided penis made him forget his worries entirely. he began pumping like a retard fucking a football, he tore several muscles in his legs as his body twisted and contorted the moment hey came "i love you lilah!" he screamed as he shot his yellowish load all over her face. "lila", , flicked on the lights and said, "surprise!" (post this story with a pictured of eugene spoilered)
mr hyunh missed his daughter terribly, dressing up like a lady and sucking cocks was all he could do to take his mind off of her. while pearly dicks slid in and out of his hairless, distended asshole, he would imagine that she was her, and that the vomit encrusted cocks that poured sperms and urine down his throats were his own kisses that he was giving to his beloved daughter. just the thought of her perfect face and nipples made him regret ever selling her to those american troops. just the thought of their mangled american cocks filling her every hole with burning white man sperm made his o-ring quiver. he finally decided enough was enough. he bit down hard on the penis of the man he was servicing. peapod kid jumped up in surprise, unable to bring himself to look at the bloody void where his cock once was. mr hyunh saw this gaping hole and became increadably aroused, he shoved his penis, all 3 inches of it into peapod kids and shot a shiny yellow load. he then found a phone book to find a therapist.
monkey man's cape filled his entire anus. by swallowing a hook and string her was able to latch onto it and pull it through his entire digestive system! half of the way through his stomach however, it became lodged between two old condoms and he nearly chocked to death. luckily for monkey man, arnold was watching the entire time. when he saw monkey man in distress, arnold sprang into action, in a single swift movement he had managed to plunge his gigantic black penis all the way into monkey man's cold yellow rectum. the tip of his penis reached so far in, in fact, that it dislodge the cape and moneky man was able to pull it out the rest of the way! shit and bile scrapped against his teeth. to him, it tasted like justice. as the last piece of fabric left his mouth he let out a triumphant scream of "MONKEEY MAN!" and that is when arnold shoved his shitty dick down his throat.
helga felt hot tears pouring down her cheeks miriam stood over her, kicking helga in the ribs "don't you ever fuck my husband again you disgusting cunt!" she screamed big bob's cums seeped out of helga anus like maynoise from a stepped on packet the bruises on helga's neck consticted her breathing as the final boot caved in her forehead she though she saw the only person she ever loved. she reached out towards the illusion, whispering "hey arnold" then she was dead
no matter how hard he tried, Arnold could never masturbate without imagining his cousin arnie. whenever Arnold imagined Lila, he also imagined his disgusting cousins balls slapping her cum soaked mouth, his shitty brown anus twitching with delight as he plunged his crescent shaped penis into her bleeding front butt hole. whenever Arnold shoots his load of steaming penis poop he is instantly filled with regret. not because he imagined Arnie fucking Lila, but because he has imagined it from lila's point of view.
Big Patty had a big problem. It was time for lunch and her throbbing erection refused to go away. she had managed to hide it so far by shoving her penis into her own ass. but now she had to shit so bad that the shit had forced her penis back between her hairy legs. she crept ever so slowly to the cafeteria, afraid to shit or jizz in her sweat pants. with the utmost concentration she managed to find a seat alone in the corner of the room where she could masturbate and shit her pants, as was her habit on such days. she felt a rumbling below the belt, she did not know whether she was coming or going. staring in horror she looked between her legs to find Harold liking the liquid shit off of her backwards facing penis. He smiled briefly, and she knew that she was safe. harold turned around, pressing the patch of ulcers on his left butt cheek against her penis, patty came immediately, shooting cum onto the bottom of her table and launching it up towards the ceiling. the entire student body of ps 118 watched in horror. the shame caused patty to lose control of her bowels, shit and cum shot every where, especially on to the face of harold who was squatting at ground zero. when the earth stopped shaking, he stood up and declared. "so that's where my pencil was" and walked out of the building. he was never seen alive again.
Arnie cared nothing for lila, to him, she was a warm place to park his monstrous cock. the freckles on her ass combined with the tangled, red, clown like hair of her cunt disgusted him. every time he fucked her he had to grab a shampoo bottle and read the label to keep from vomiting. as he inched in deeper, and deeper still, his only delight was the sound of lila's tears striking the floor. though he was of small intelligence he was gifted with cock. just putting the head in caused lila considerable pain. now that he was the full ten inches deep, he could feel the blood from her torn vag boiling around his cock. he pulled out momentarily to admire his work. brown blood poured out onto his balls. punching lila in the face, he directed her to clean them off with her tongue. feeling that the time was right her jumped three feet in the air and landed taint first on to lila's tongue. instinctively she tossed his salad, it tasted like plain flavored gum, and shit.
principle warts was delighted he had never had an ass as tight as mr simmons' before mr simmons on the other hand was flushed in the face and hot with shame his bloody shitter was so battered he felt like he could crap out his pelvis with the slightest effort the cum drizzling down his forehead stung his eyes and he had to bite a roll of principle wartz' ample thigh fat to keep from losing his mind a hunk of sinewy flesh snapped of into his mouth and mr simmons suddenly found his senses over taken by blood lust his bit and tore at ever bundle of flesh he could find principle wartz was too busy fucking to notice. it was not until he shot his 5th load that he noticed his predicament within moments he died of blood loss mr simmons continued riding his rigid dead man's cock until the police arrived several hours later. he was promptly fired.
it was a normal day for arnold. he was walking down the street his bowels began to hurt. "oh fuck i gotta take a shit" he thought. he then saw dino spumonis corpse floating down the gutter like a piece of shit in the toilet not being able to wait anymore he opened the rotting corpses mouth and took a huge shit. everyone gathered around and cheered as the chocolate ecstacy poured from arnolds ass. he then unzipped his pants and began fucking the shit mound rising out of deade dinos mouth. as he was about to cum he saw helga. he grabbed her by the throat, shoved her face into the shit and fucked her ass until his dick came out of her stomach he then jizzed all over dead dinos four hundred dollar tie.
phoebe had always admired the smell of big bob's dick. even though he never exposed it to her, phoebe could smell it's pungent smegma from rooms away. all the while Helga was prattling on about football head this and blah blah that, phoebe would imagine climbing up between big bob's legs and licked the curdles of sploogy cheese out of the wrinkles of his beat red leathery cock.
Harold's anus danced with delight, it was filled to the brim with ham Mr green cackled wildly, shoving slice after slice between harold's virgin cheeks. during a considerably difficult shove his hand became caught in the meat. this was when things got weird. harold shat out the ham at such a great speed and velocity that mr green's face was covered with half baked anus meats. he began to eat it with vigor. his twisted penis unfurled from his butchers apron, forming a sort of broken question mark of cock. he attempted to shove it into harold's anus but missed. it slipped off of harold's bulbous ass it rammed into the wall. his penis slapped in half and harold ran away screaming, ham falling from his ass the entire way. though he was in incredible pain, mr green screamed "you have to pay for that ham you thieving jew"!
Mr. Kokoschka squinted as he released his steamy seed into the lining of his ancient underpants. just the thought of fucking a baby made him so horny, one could fill a bucket with his precum. the fact that his bitch of a wife was baby sitting a child was too much to bear. suddenly, he burst into the room where the baby was sleeping and plunged it on his cock, laughing "ha ha ha!" the entire time to him, the act of fucking babby was no stranger than fucking a dying dog, which he also enjoyed doing as the baby began to flail spasmodically from the shock Kokoschka put his mouth the Childs and sucked the frothy vomit out of it's mouth. it tasted of milk and stomach acid. he spit this back out into the babies eyes. as Mr. Kokoschka came he whispered "no baby, YOU keep the cummy."
oskar was waiting in his room when he heard a loud noise. it was phil he broke down the door and unzipped his pants, his old veiny dick hanging between his legs. "dick is like the snake that bit my bubushka" he said before phil tackled him with his steely strength. he tied him to oskrs table as suzie came out. he knocked suzie down and ripped off her tits. "i want to fuck yer wife" so phil began raping the helpless suzie, the blood from massive holes where her tits were drenching his overalls in blood. oskar began to cry as phil lift suzie and squeezed her so hard had she shit all over oscar. phil began to laughed as he then fucked suzie in the ass and pulled out to come all over oscars beard. he then took out oscars cock and forced suzies mouth on it then he decapitated her leaving her disembodied head sucking on oscars cock. as oscar cried he couldnt help but cum as it poured out of the bottom of suzies neck all over the floor.
sheena's poison ivy was spreading, what started as a bump on her finger spread to an apocalyptic rash that stretch from her mouth to her vagina. she spent the entire night twisting in her blankets, scrapping the bloodied sores away from her skin. the puss from her wounds felt so warm and slippery, she could not help but explore her ass. feeling inspiration she reached for a nearby bottle of calamine lotion and injected the contents into her pooper. it dried out her anus immediately and it collapsed like an empty paper bag. acting quickly she bit and tore and scratched at all of her itchy sores until she had collected enough puss in a cup to fill her mouth completely. she held it on her tongue for a moment before doing a backflip and vomiting into her own anus. as she landed on the bed she shot the puss all over her filthy sheets. that night she slept with ease in a pile of her own very special bedding.
Brainy's breathing grew heavier with each thrust Helga's corpse had been decaying for weeks but her anus still retained it's former glory brainy dug in his nails as her shot his first load of the morning green carrion collected under his nails as brackish blood pooled out of the wound. brainy rolled his testicles in the fluid to him, it was as though his love Helga had released the lubrication her needed to finally fuck her eye socket his breathing grew more laborious as he felt the cold caress of helga's unibrow on his abdomen the first thrust popped the green sac of decay that was helga's left eye the second thrust caused an outpouring of puss and liquefied brain matter that brainy could not help but take delight in acting quickly, he took several handfuls of the mottled matter and shoved them inside of his anus just the thought of helga's thoughts living in his gritty bunghole made him so excited that he filled helga's empty cranium with glops of his scabby man goop. as he pulled out he watched with glee as a mixture of blood and cum seeped out of helga's nostrils. then he had lunch.
The Jolly Olly Man
butter brickle ice cream made his nipples harder than his penis, and though it was laden with tumors, it was fantastically hard. the joy olly man smeared another helping of water ice onto his balls and hoped that a child would perchance to mosey by. that is not what transpired. big bob came stomping over, immediately demanding a water ice. the jollly olly man replied by shooting a load of sticky poopfudge all over mr pataki's face. bob was pleasantly surprised. the texture and scent reminded him of his youth, when he was often forced to lick the scabies off of his grandfather's taint. he immediately became aroused, and noticing the rigidity and inhuman length of the jolly olly man's nipples, proceeded to insert the nearest nipple into his urethra the butter brickle ice cream felt like an icy kiss on his penis. it was almost as good a feeling as he had the time he managed to convince olga and younger olga to quadruple fist him while miriam beat his testicles with an inflatable baseball bat. the jolly olly man came without warning, his semen freezing into jagged spheres, these cum bullets struck big bob on the taint and penetrated all the way into the base of his skull. though the ice cream as delicious, he was permanently paralyzed from the waist up. and hr had brain freeze to boot
miriam liked to drink, and when she drank she liked to dance and fuck black men. one day whilst high on the most euphoric of heavenly ambrosia's, miriam stumbled onto a basket ball court in the middle of the city. "somebody plow me!" she screamed "toot toot, all aboard the vagina vehicle!" still, nobody came, in desperation, she filled her cunt with food stamps. suddenly, she heard a rumbling in the bushes. a mexican man darted out with the speed of 4 asians, before miriam could react, he had snatched from her snatch the food stamps and darted off back towards his hobbit hole downtown here he wold beat his children and beat off while they beat him. miriam began to weep. she hadn't been fucked in weeks since big bob started plugging that "little asian bitch with the glasses." unable to find a black man she did the next best thing and punched herself in the labia repeatedly. she then bit off her nipples and squeezed er breast until her streams of blood poured into her own mouth. she then promptly walked to the police station and filed a report. the next day gerald was taken from school and arrested for loitering in a public park.
Ernie was terribly depressed, he spent an entire evening drilling a hole in the outside wall of ps118 in an attempt to create a glory hole, only to find that his penis was too short to make it through to the other side. in desperation, he began to pump against the cold concrete of the building, imagining the warm succulent flesh of the children inside. as he was a bout to cum, he felt mr ngyens' gigantic penis split his anus like an axe slicing through an shit filled apple. the curly red hairs on his ass began slicked with blood as mr ngyen released his salty seed all over the back of Ernie's pants. it was the second worst day of school he had ever attended.
Lost to Time
there are two more stories that were deleted before they could be archived. the first involved a race war, Gerald convinces Rhonda to suck his dick lest she be raped by an unruly gang of niggersmen the second involved Ruth MacDougle, Arnold's first love. She was locking in a box in Arnold's room where he used his room's automated equipment to rape her He then urinates on her wounds while chanting "hi ruth, hi ruth"
if you are some sort of sick fuck and saved these stories, go ahead and post them. then pay your taxes. Then kill yourself.
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