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1. The maitre d' at a restaurant tells you your table is ready and calls you "sir," you say:
a. Nothing, you wait for your boyfriend to answer.
b. "Right here!"
c. Nothing, you nudge your girlfriend forward instead.
2. Look up. What does your hair look like?
a. Very long
b. A greasy she-mullet
c. Roman Holiday
3. What's in your mouth at this very moment?
c. Chewing gum
4. Have you ever experimented with girls?
a. Does science class count?
5. The Grand Canyon is...
a. A canyon carved out by the Colorado River
b. Mother Earth's vagina, and we must protect her
c. Really boring...is there a girlie bar around here?
6. What kind of car do you drive?
a. A Honda
b. A green pick-up truck
c. A white Volkswagen convertible
7. Which one of these ironic shirts would you wear?
a. "I'M WITH STUPID"
b. "SCISSOR ME TIMBERS"
c. "EAT MY PUCCI"
8. Which of these do you find the most appetizing?
a. Meat and potatoes
b. Fish tacos
c. Peaches and cream
Mostly a's...You are not a lesbian, just an attention whore. Consider becoming an hero.
Mostly b's...You already know your sexual orientation, you sick fuck. You are the "man" in the relationship. Go lick your girlfriend's vulva and iron your flannel shirts.
Mostly c's...You are a lesbian, dammit, but the "woman" in the relationship.
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