—Oh, you're going to love this...
Lilypichu (powerword: Yuri Kim) is a repugnant Asian camwhore whose main source of income is exploiting ronery weeaboos on /a/ by e-begging for manga and plushies to expand her ever-growing hoard. As a YouTube partner, she produces a series of anime-related voice-overs that would leave any sane member of society pondering how anyone could find them enjoyable. Sadly, this does not hold true for the thousands of weeaboos on the internet that she gets off on scamming, typically on the basis that her parents dislike her (as she is 21 and remains living at home).
The Korean War
The place is YouTbe, 2011. The NCF is beginning an internet-wide crusade against bronies. The trolls' weapon of choice at this time was false DMCA claims against the YouTube videos of prominent bronies. Eventually, our humble lulzmongers stumbled upon a minorly popular YouTuber by the name of Nyanners. Calling a council of war, the NCF quickly identified Nyanners as a weeaboo attention whore and one of the hated channers. Nyanners' channel was quickly brought down by the DMCA-hammer, and the anguished cries of weeaboos could be heard across YouTube. In the sea of flames directed at the NCF, one stood out: a complaint on the Google Help forums by a user named "ririki". The Crook Force quickly identified this user as another "amateur voice actress" by the name of LilyPichu. Retaliation would be swift and brutal.
Never expecting to have to be concerned about lulz-starved black homosexuals, LilyPichu made the unfortunate mistake of using the same name for everything for about a decade. The trolls quickly found an email account that was linked to a name and cellphone number in New Jersey. The following call was all the confirmation the NCF needed:
<video type="dailymotion" id="xx0c0r_ring-ring-lilypichu_latino" width="300" height="300" desc="OH BOY GOSH" frame="true" position="center" allowfullscreen="true"/>
LilyPichu had been doxed. With her IRL contact information leaked to thousands of sex-starved 4chan nerds and her overbite now visible to the entire tubes, Lily staged a fighting retreat, backed by countless white knights and police threats.
In addition to a wide collection of voiced-over stolen anime, Lily owns and operates a channel on weeb-hub Rizon that is a common target for dongforce floods and abuse, particularly from Lily's #1 fan mc.
[19:47] * Salt sets ban on *[email protected]*.44729DF4.74435B0F.IP [19:47] * You have been kicked from #lilies by Salt (radek_jones) [19:48] * Now talking on #lilies [19:48] * Topic for #lilies is: ★ Lilies, where everyone can be a little girl! ★ Rules: http://pastebin.com/mDuGUrCL ★ RaidCall: 5441804 ★ Spidey78 is SOPA ★ [19:48] * Topic for #lilies set by [email protected] (Mon Jan 21 21:12:05 2013) [19:48] * Salt sets ban on *[email protected]*.44729DF4.74435B0F.IP [19:48] * You have been kicked from #lilies by Salt (radek_jones)
[21:23] * Slat sets ban on *!*@hackforjes.us [21:23] <AnnaChii> AWWWW LILY [21:23] * You have been kicked from #Shurelily by Slat (Slat) [21:25] * Now talking on #Shurelily [21:25] * Topic for #Shurelily is: The topic for #Shurelily is: Todays Show: BAAILEVEN BROER | Ask Shu or Lily a question! http://www.formspring.me/shurelily | Website: http://www.shurelily.com | Tetris No Naku Koro Ni upon request | Order Pizza for greater Baylife | Updated channel rules here: http://pastebin.com/6NEXFN2H [21:25] * Topic for #Shurelily set by MajoBernkastel at Wed Apr 25 09:09:00 2012 [21:25] <AnnaChii> o.o [21:25] <DrSerbia> hi [21:25] <DrSerbia> sorry about whatever [21:25] <Wazuki> welcome back [21:25] <DrSerbia> my mistake, obviously [21:25] <AnnaChii> . [21:25] * Slat sets ban on #shurelily!*@* [21:25] * Slat sets ban on +b!*@* [21:25] * Slat sets ban on *!*@synIRC-3E64F66B.dyn.everestkc.net [21:25] <Slat> oops [21:25] <Shurelya> why ban = ( [21:25] <Wazuki> lol [21:26] <DrSerbia> yeah [21:26] * #Shurelily :You are banned (#Shurelily) [21:26] <Wazuki> i don't even [21:26] <DrSerbia> what's the problem? [21:26] * #Shurelily :You are banned (#Shurelily) [21:26] <Shurelya> can you not ban [21:26] <CanadaAotS> He should've been banned ages ago [21:26] <Tag_Dog> hi shu [21:26] <Jekiru> hi shu [21:26] <Wazuki> DrSerbia is an upstanding citizen [21:26] <Tag_Dog> lol [21:26] <DrSerbia> true [21:26] * #Shurelily :You are banned (#Shurelily) [21:26] <Tag_Dog> my ass [21:26] <AnnaChii> Shuuuu [21:26] <AnnaChii> >.< [21:26] <CanadaAotS> Does synirc have rules about ban evasion? [21:27] <CanadaAotS> Pretty sure if you catch him ban evading [21:27] * Slat removes ban on *!*@synIRC-3E64F66B.dyn.everestkc.net [21:27] <CanadaAotS> You tell an IRCOp [21:27] * Shurelya removes ban on +b!*@* [21:27] * Shurelya removes ban on #shurelily!*@* [21:27] * Shurelya removes ban on *!*@hackforjes.us [21:27] <CanadaAotS> and he's k-lined [21:27] <CanadaAotS> from the server [21:27] <SaberMami> he didnt do anythign wrong [21:27] <Shurelya> no need to ban [21:27] <CanadaAotS> ¯\_(?)_/¯ [21:27] <CanadaAotS> Just putting the information out there [21:27] <Wazuki> Shurelya you ready in game yet bro? [21:27] <DrSerbia> thanks, sabermami and shurelya [21:27] <Shurelya> np. [21:27] <Tag_Dog> slat [21:28] <DrSerbia> I haven't had the pleasure of conversing with either of you yet [21:28] <Tag_Dog> this is an abuse of power [21:28] <DrSerbia> but I don't think I did anything wrong either [21:28] <Tag_Dog> you just have to global ignore him [21:28] <DrSerbia> but don't get mad at slat [21:28] * Slat has quit (Quit: KVIrc 4.0.4 Insomnia http://www.kvirc.net/) [21:28] <DrSerbia> I seriously doubt he's acting maliciously [21:28] <DrSerbia> [21:28] * Slat has quit (Quit: KVIrc 4.0.4 Insomnia http://www.kvirc.net/) [21:28] <DrSerbia> can you guys say "meltdown"?
Let's check back in on the moderation of #lilies:
[19:51] * Spidey78 sets ban on *[email protected]*.44729DF4.74435B0F.IP [19:51] * You have been kicked from #lilies by Spidey78 (malik_shabaaz) [19:51] * Now talking on #lilies [19:51] * Topic for #lilies is: ★ Lilies, where everyone can be a little girl! ★ Rules: http://pastebin.com/mDuGUrCL ★ RaidCall: 5441804 ★ Spidey78 is SOPA ★ [19:51] * Topic for #lilies set by [email protected] (Mon Jan 21 21:12:03 2013) [19:51] * Salt has quit (Quit: Gata goto choo choo tetsumusu~) [19:52] <Kwelity_yuki> fff [19:52] * Salt ([email protected]) has joined [19:52] * Rizon gives channel operator status to Salt [19:52] * Spidey78 sets ban on *[email protected]*.44729DF4.74435B0F.IP [19:52] * You have been kicked from #lilies by Spidey78 (rigsby) [19:53] * Now talking on #lilies
[17:05] <AnnaChii> but i had to go there [17:05] <Diplo> WHENEVER HE WALKS IN A ROOM [17:05] <AnnaChii> they gave me meds [17:05] * DarkDesu hugs AnnaChii. [17:05] <AnnaChii> it wasnt like [17:05] <AnnaChii> a huge ewmrgency [17:05] <AnnaChii> but like [17:05] <Pomf> Dark... [17:05] <AnnaChii> past few nights [17:05] <Pomf> What.. [17:05] <Pomf> are.. [17:05] <AnnaChii> ive been hurting myself
Surely, #lilies has this ban business sorted out by now....
[19:53] * Salt sets ban on *[email protected]*.44729DF4.74435B0F.IP [19:53] * You have been kicked from #lilies by Salt (lrn_2_irc)
#lilies after dark
(04:49) Lilypichu: can i hentai moan for u (04:49) * Lilypichu curls. (04:50) * Reiz0r cuddles tiny curly Lilypichu again
The League of Losers
As is required of any serious YouTube attention whore, Lily has certain favorite boy toys. One of these is Foreverpandering, (Ken Ashcrop IRL). A furry and /v/irgin, Ken is just the type to put a good deal of time and effort into scoring some sweet e-celebrity poon. In fact, he's dedicated multiple videos to attempts to win Lily's heart:
No doubt experiencing a combination of amusement and nausea from the near-constant back and forth between Ken and Lily at the time, one YouTube detective produced a video documenting Foreverpandering fawning over Lily and exchanging videos that meant nothing to anyone but them. Amazingly, this evidence has survived the brutal flagging campaigns waged by enraged neckbeards:
In a surprising turn of events, all of the videos and comments contained within have been erased by Lily and Ken. After all, it's likely to reduce the net flow of clothes, manga and money if the lonely supply chain starts to believe that you're no longer a boyfriend-free-girl. Let's see Lily's reaction:
Competing with Kenny and a smattering of other dipshits is Dyrus (Powerword: Marcus Hill), a man who "played league of legends for a living". Trading comments and videos in a similar fashion to Pandering, it should be made clear to everyone that Dyrus and Lily are NOT in a relationship or even friends, for that matter.
Long considered experts on not being in relationships, League of Legend-ians are quick to point out that not being in a relationship is fraught with perils, such as constantly having to deny observation-based rumors that you are, in fact, in a relationship.
Spidey (Powerword: Aman Zargarpur) is an oper on Lily's IRC channel and member of the exclusive TSA terrorist watch list. Not quite as e-famous as Pandering or Dyrus, Spidey is frequently trying to chat up Lily on Skype. However (perhaps in recognition of his lesser stature), Aman has become desperate for love. So desperate, in fact, that he has resorted to sending out photos of his Hamas rocket to any troll willing to give him 5 minutes of attention.
—How has he not gotten any yet?
—Spidey's idea of pickup lines
Spidey's Reaction to This Article
Soon after discovering this page Spidey did what any good friend would do, and made some constructive edits. He replaced the first, rather unflattering image of Ms. Kim with a substantially smaller angle shot. He then took to mocking any typos he could find in the article, quickly causing EDiots far and wide to immediately stop laughing at his tiny wanker, and start laughing at those pathetic, non dick-showing folks who added one too many letters. Considering he was only here to improve this article, one is left to wonder why he left those atrocious grammatical errors untouched.
—HAHAHA @ ED!
- Cirno - A friend
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|Featured article January 29th and 30th, 2013|