Lisa Portolese

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The whole fucking thing.
Typical Fat Girl Angle glamour shot

Lisa Portolese is a Facebook messiah brought to the attention of anonymous on September 10th, via the /b/ of a *chan that shall go un-named. She is an avid supporter of the search for popular lost loli Madeline McCann, and thus very susceptible to trolling.

A natural troll-to-fanatic chemical reaction has now begun, and as a result, is currently releasing a high volume of the elemental byproduct LOL. Completely competent and credible sources believe that as this reaction continues, the young Fanatic may level up and become Lolcow, a Pokemon of the leaf variety.

"Hey Commander, how about I buy you a house for letting me blow you?"


—Lisa Portolese, upstanding moral citizen


The Trolling

Original message, sent via Facebook:

  There once was a young girl called Maddie,
  She had such an irresponsible daddy,
  Snatched from her bed,
  She's probably dead,
  Raped by a Portuguese baddy.

Q: What's the difference between Madeleine McCann and Pope John Paul II? A: The Pope died a virgin.

Q: Knock Knock... Who's There? A: Not Maddie, lol.

The Response(s)

  Crazy: I just want to let you know that I have reported you to the Police,
         and they now have my facebook password so if there if there is some 
         reason that you would send that poem to me when I am  only a 
         Volunteer and do not have anything to do with that family than 
         please notify me. The Police are already looking into all 53 of your 
         friends across the states and Isreal. I've been told you are Jewish 
         reform so I don't understand why you would send this poem out. 
         Especially so close to 9/11. I lost my husband that day.  I went to 
         school in California, I travel there frequently, I am from Toronto 
         Canada, I will press every charge against you 
         possible, harrasement, terrorism etc. I strongly encourage you to 
         apologize to me, delete the poem from whereever you posted it, post a 
         message to your friends via notes explaining why they are being 
         questioned, if you do that, all is are either a young 
         stupid kid or maybe you are the killer, I don't know. how could I or 
         would I possibly know that. It is 12:29 EST, you hae exactly 3 hours 
         before I call Internationnal Crime Stoppers, message me back or send 
         an e-mail to [email protected]

Anon: hahaa ahahaahhahaa ahahaaha holy shit

Crazy: This is serious ANON, the Police are already here. Why did you write the Poem? You are Jewish reform, how could you spread so much hate? Facebook may disable your account soon.

ANON: ok ok ok I posted an apology go see it

Crazy: ok I will go have a look

ANON: Oh lawdy lawdy you so crazy

This crazy bitch actually added all of my friends and told them I killed Maddy. Seriously

Embracing Of Insanity

After a while, the anon who began the original thread in question decided to introduce Lisa, or Litzi17 to his friends over at SASS. She became a den mother and hero of Cosby Cock, but alas, a meltdown seems to have taken her away once more. The meltdown also caused her to delete all her posts, which was retardedly ineffective as most of her posts had been quoted, lulz.

"Listen I volunteered for that Maddie site. I do a lot of Volunteer work and what you said, was really nasty. I have been dreaming about this little girl for 4 months now"


—Lisa Portolese, dreaming about Maddy for 4 months

Even Crazy Off the Subject of Maddie!

Which one has been ridden more often? The blue one, the red one, or the bloated whale? Your guess is as good as mine! (Hint: the correct answer is Lisa Portolese)
  • I have a better photo than that. Much better photos for your jerking off pleasure. When I was 14 I had a job on a sex line and I've honed my craft over the years. Tonights game was excellent New York beat Toronto 9-2. beautiful grand slam and great plays by both teams, the odd thing was this....New York had 9 runs and 11 hits, so the score board read NEW YORK 9 11. Thought that was freaky. Listen I like to get really super kinky but after what my friend did with the facebook thing, I am somewhat shy because I don't know what other feeds this is going through so I feel inhibited. Plus Wednesday night is a holy day for me at Sun Down. On top of all that, I really find the Maddie pictures distasteful. So I don't know if I should be on this forum anymore, it is hard for me to get loose and let you dive into the attics of my mind and get into some deep sexual discussions while looking at a little child. I have never wanted my own children so looking at them really turns me off and makes it quite difficult to allow myself to explode. I don't like to get myself excited unless I know I can fuck myself really hard and make myself gush 8 feet into the air, I actually have a video of myself doing that, having a contest with a stripper friend of mine but she is already at 11 feet, we've measured the distance, wish I knew how upload the video. Would love if someone sent me a camcorder so I could let all of you tune in and watch me getting fucked up the ass by some big hard black cock while I am licking some chicks pussy and then forcing her to suck the shit off my mans cock but that is just the tame stuff, again, I don't want to say too much because I am not sure where it will be posted and my real name is all over the Internet.

  • You know it's weird, I am a Pisces and I have always been really intuitive, even predicted the Whittier Quake, after that my teacher Karen Hensell who is still at the Academy and occasionally plays Sharons Mom and the Y and R, wanted to send me for testing. I made the mistake of blirting out my prediction. I digress, when I heard about Madeleine, I was having visions for lack of a better word that she was in Malta, 50 days later they reported sightings of her there. I got involved with the Forum because I have a friend Joyce Luciano who works for the FBI and is a natural born witch, she is on my profile on facebook, we needed Maddies Time of Birth to do a natal chart to try and determine if she was still alive, and while they have given me much information, they have not given me the time of Birth.

Fun Facts

Upstanding citizen Lisa Portolese displaying her gentler side. Not shown: horse cock
  • Evidently she has been in a movie. It consists entirely of horse porn.
  • Anon doesn't know who he's messing with. She will put him in one of her "films".
  • Lisa Portolese does blow


  • "I told you to call me! It is not fake. I am also a Baroness but that is another story entirely, I had my family crest on my site. I am a naughty princess. No one fun to play with anymore. George is fun but rather busy. He was great last night, we went out the back. Brad came out the front....I am not making this up."

  • "I write music for bands, I sing, act, dance, just got a distribution deal for a screen play based on my crazy heritage."

  • "I am not like them, we have the same diagnosis as does Linda Hamilton and Robin Williams.....everyone is different...... Winston Churchill had manic depression too, only I don't suffer from the depression, I just get really high and they have to keep me on downers. So give me some caffeine and it feels like I'm on coke."

  • "and I am not the owner of the facebook site for Maddie, the kid that created the group was busy with family matters, his Grandfather is very sick so I offered to post things for him. He is in England, I don't know him. I just joined the group to see if there was something I could do. Progress has been made, there is no Amber Alert System in Europe like in North America, and Maddie's case has been used as a template for other missing children, even teenagers like some of you are. We live in a very different world now, I never had to worry about the things that you have to worry about. It makes me really sad. I know September 11th is going to be really sad at Skydome or Rogers Center as they call it now. I wanted to pay my respects. You were probably all too young to remember the devastation of that day at the WTC."

  • "Oddly enough I have a hot date with a Portuguese man, I hope he has some pudding cocks for me to suck on."


See Also