Liskula Cohen

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Jump to navigation Jump to search

Is climbing onto a table and shaking your ass at someone skanky? You betcha!
Oh, how quaint - here she is getting a faux cumshot! Not skanky at all!
Well, ain't that the skankiest thing you've ever saw.

Liskula Cohen is a psychotic, lying, whoring skank who has recently been whoring her status as a C-list model in order to feel better about her flat, pale ass, saggy tits, fucked-up nose and failed career. Liskula's whorish behavior is comparable to that of a two-dollar hooker struggling to feed her thirteen little bastards. The hooker flaunts her malformed and vein-ridden tits every night so that the kids can eat "tomato soup". However, the"tomato soup" is actually a mixture of ketchup, water, dead weevils, green eggs, and dick.

The Butthurt Begins

In August 2008, an awesome blog entry was posted on the internets. Posted on a blog titled Skanks In NYC that was hosted on Blogger, it posited numerous badass and entirely accurate comments about Liskula Ho-in's lifestyle and physical person, such as: "Liskula is an OLD HAG", "a skank", "#1 Skanky Superstar of '09" and a "promiscuous woman who is filthy, disgusting, foul and a whore".

When Liskula stumbled upon this blog, she was immediately rendered irreparably butthurt and resorted to a Jew's first line of defense: SUING. That's right, Liskula proceeded to sue the Internet! Liskula proves once again that lawsuits over frivolous and anonymous online insults by jerkoffs that nobody ever paid attention to in the first place will only cause the insult to spread further and last forever.

When someone on the internet says, "How old is this skank? Forty something? She’s a psychotic, lying, whoring, still-going-to-clubs-at-her-age skank," the appropriate response from Liskula would be to ignore it, not to call her lawyer because somebody's onto her.

When Liskula is not suing the Internet, she likes to get in bar fights. SRSLY! Last Thursday she was smashed in the face with a vodka bottle by the doorman of a New York City hotel with whom she didn't want to share some vodka (you can bet she'll learn how to share next time). She received 46 stitches and can no longer model. The doorman was obviously aware of her skankery long before the blogging debacle, and he has now been recognized as one of the preeminent skank-slayers of our times.

Not only is Liskula a skank, she's a miscegenating kike bitch. Like any other Jewish slut, Liskula Cohen LOVES niggers. Just look at the picture of her letting one of them run its monkey paws up her skirt! ATTN to all rich men in New York who may fall for this whore's muffin bluffing: she's got a bunch of nigger diseases. Don't shell out any money for this shit.

I am, like, so famous with my story on TV

Yet another nigger who Liskula doubtless took big infected loads of semen from. Judging by the look on his face, this was happening when the picture was taken.
You can rest assured that Liskula also caught diseases from trannies.

Watch this donkeyfaced bitch fucking whine, cry, and act like a pant-pissing, middle school cunt on national TV. Bawwww, so dramatic!:

Note that her whorish exhibitionist pictures aren't mentioned even once in the course of this entire bullshit interview.

I went to the bathroom and I saw my whole career go down the drain. I looked in the mirror and saw a hole in my face the size of a quarter. I've been a model my whole life, and I've never had another job


—Liskula, describing the result of GRAET JUSTICE

The Internet is no longer a safe harbor for defamatory language.


—Cohen's lawyer will get you!

Rosemary Port, #1 Skankbuster

Alg rosemary port.jpg
Before her suit, there were probably two hits on my Web site: One from me looking at it, and one from her looking at it. That was before it became a spectacle.


—Rosemary Port on Liskula doing it wrong

Google has outed 29-year-old Fashion Institute of Technology student Rosemary Port (who ironically looks actually pretty and way more fuckable than Cohen) as the blogger who created the original Skanks In NYC blog. In response, Port has filed a lolsuit of her own, suing Google for $15,000,000 for revealing her name.

All the way to Mexican...

"Nothing like opening wide to take that thing in my mouth AGAIN"
Warning: Ass may have aids in it.
Has her own line of perfumes.
efame: How the Internets works.

After successfully suing Google, Liskula was awarded the email and IP of the blogger, Rosemary Port, and pretended that the person who said it was "an irrelevant person in my life." The result was an epic shitstorm on Blogspot and LiveJournal, the aftermath of which still continues. If she wishes for the harassment to end, there is only one solution.

Let's face it: the only reason she got anywhere with her case was because she was a New York Kike and knew how to suck the Judge's pussy. Also, she's REALLY FUCKING OLD.

Why so skank?

The idea that Liskula brought this on herself is repulsive. It's shameful. It's like saying she had it coming. We never contacted the press. If we had thought for a minute that the Google case would have brought more attention to the anonymous blogger's site, we never would have started it.


—Cohen's lawyer, Steven Wagner, finally getting a clue a bit too late

I'm ready to take this all the way to the Supreme Court. Our Founding Fathers wrote 'The Federalist Papers' under pseudonyms. Inherent in the First Amendment is the right to speak anonymously. Shouldn't that right extend to the new public square of the Internet?


—Port's heroic lawyer, Salvatore Strazzullo

Reaction on Jewtube

Liskula Cohen is a nigger-fucking skank.



This skanky skank has made a more powerful enemy than she can ever imagine, TEH INTERNETS!!!



an hero plz.



what a buthurt bitch if she was here id slap her then tell her she looks like a horse then tell her to fuck off.



Can I kill hookers in this game?


— stanburdman

Liskula is so skanky...

  • ...a man divided by zero and her vagina appeared.
  • ...she makes your skanky mom look like Mother Teresa.
  • ...even Candlejack didn't dare to go near her when she called.
  • ...she once verbally recited the entire Tanakh perfectly while swallowing a giant horse cock.
  • dog came home happy last night.
  • ...every Purim, she hosts an annual safari in her bush.
  • ...she often sits in the middle of busy areas with her legs spread open and a sign that reads, "Free breakfast, all you can eat."
  • ...that she was going to have my babies, but the guy in line behind me had the correct change.
  • ...she had a restraining order put out on a horse.
  • ...the smell of her cunt is a neurotoxin whose use is regarded as a war crime per the Geneva Convention.
  • ...she is the first human to ever have been impregnated by a fungal infection.
  • ...she eats with her bum.
  • ...her cooch has teeth that it grew to keep her fingers out.
  • ...she has frightened away furries.
  • ...she has a GPS locator in her uterus in case she loses it.
  • ...her anus, on several occasions, has refused to open out of fear.
  • ...she takes contraception in the form of an inhaler every week day hour.
  • ...her vagina once fell off, she got a new one from a transvestite.
  • ...her queefs have been known to set off local car alarms.
  • ...doctors found OVER 9000 new STDs inside of her.
  • ...her Chinese tattoo says "take out".
  • ...her voicemail is always full.
  • ...that pic on the right is how she gets out of bed after an orgy of at least 100 niggers.
  • ...she can speak fluent Sperm.
  • ...her herpes has HPV on its herpes.
  • took three doctors to help her recover from surgery. All at once. In the broom closet.
  • ...her bedsheets are all made of cellophane.
  • ...she is immune to the Falcon Punch, though not on purpose.
  • ...her lips (all four of them) are rough enough to survive re-entry into the atmosphere
  • ...she could suck-start a Harley!
  • ...her other clitoris is a penis.
  • ...she once held in a fart for a week.
  • ...When she got a new mini skirt, everyone commented on her nice belt!
  • ...she has Trojan branded on her gumline.
  • ...her crabs have discovered fire.
  • ...her mating call is "I'm sooo drunk." If the mating call goes unanswered it changes to "I said I'm drunk!!!"
  • a poll of 10,000 people, including Liskula Cohen and her family, 99.99% said that they thought Liskula Cohen was a skank. The other .01% was too busy being a skank to answer.
  • ...her daily intake of semen could cure hunger in Africa.
  • ...her daily intake of semen could overflow the population in China.
  • ...she's like a doorknob- filthy as fuck and everyone gets a turn.
  • ...her IQ is measured in PSI.
  • ...she thinks that Poon Tang is the capital of South Korea.
  • ...the night she lost her virginity, she asked "So, do all you guys play on the same team?"
  • ...she got pissed because the DMV gave her an "F" in sex.
  • ...she's like a pile of bricks; she gets laid by Mexicans all day long.

Main skank page

Blogspot Accounts (start one today!)

Got any carrots?
Liskula without makeup on.

ED article reaction

Liskula vandalizing articles.

Well I cannot believe the hate that is out there especially on this particular web site. You people just seem to hate everyone, black people, Jewish people Arab people... Are you all just so white bread? I am thinking probably not. I can understand why all of you want to remain anonymous, I am sure that your jobs, your children's security and your own security would be at risk if you actually walked around talking like this. Well for all you anti semites and racist people I have one wish, and that wish is that your children fall deeply in love with members of another race, and they have mixed children, or different religions. Maybe then you will see the beauty in the world, and not just your trailer parks. Sorry to assume that you are all low life degenerates that suck off the government, but I am sure most people that read this web site will assume the same, at least the one's with even mild intelligence. And just so you know I would much rather be everything you called me, than be any of you! So remain anonymous, remain cowardly. AND don't worry ED, I wouldn't waste the time or the money to sue you. I can easily see that it is your "contributors" writing this garbage. Just know that none of your words, thoughts, pictures effect me at all. I just feel bad for you all... Get a life, go work out, go try to bring something positive to the world, your community, your family, yourself. Does writing this garbage do anything for you? If it does then please let me know, I am so curious.


Liskula, tl;dr BAWWWWW

FYI I checkout all of the "posters" from this page, and can we please all do the same...One guy has started his own church...LMAO.... why cause any legitimate church wouldn't accept you? Or your hatred... ...tsk tsk... do yourself and read the bible...



Liskula, vandalizing

AND FYI I couldn't give a rats ass if I get banned from this pathetic site... But clearly you people I said get a life...Go feed your crying babies.


Liskula, Editing hard

I can do this all day....


Liskula on vandalizing

In Summary


See Also

Portal icon whores.gif

Liskula Cohen is part of a series on


Visit the Whores Portal for complete coverage.

Liskula Cohen
is part of a series on
Too mooch data.jpg


AspierationsBLANKING IN PROGRESSCharming NaïvetéDelete fucking everythingDOIN IT RONGEdginessFailing itInternet tough guyKids on the internetLegal actionLiberalismMental illnessMod SassSkript kiddiesSob StoriesTrollsUnrealistic ExpectationsUnwarranted Self-ImportanceWaaaambulance

Previous Hiscores:
AnimaljailApplemilk1988Cheryl ShumanDalhuskyFlardoxHal TurnerLittleCloudOnigojirakaijuPrince JeremyScience PiratesScientologySokiTwopawSweet EvaPeppermintPattiPoeticironyXxPrincessPunkxxZeriara

An heroGoing Back To GaiaLURKING MOARProtect fucking everythingShutting The Fuck UpStopping posting

Liskula Cohen
is part of a series on
Raelian symbol.png
Patriarchs [-+]
Habitats [-+]
Traditions [-+]
H8s [-+]
Featured article August 22, 2009
Preceded by
Brad McQuaid
Liskula Cohen Succeeded by