Love Hina

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Mutsumi, resident Love Hina black wannabe.
This Always Happens, If you buy their Manga.

Love Hina was a popular anime/manga series that was a big hit to many hopeless romantics and nerds in the year 1998. Basically the storyline was about some dropout nerd named Keitaro who lives in a house with five angry, constipated, PMS crazed girls who beat on him daily because of severe PMS. Eventually, the girls like the guy, but he never got laid in the end, which left many horny losers pissed off that the anime series never finished.

The series began to drop out of popularity in the mid-2000s, largely because of the rise in harem anime with new concepts such as actual nudity and male protagonists with backbones. Watching Love Hina in the current year is much like having a NetZero subscription when Google Fiber is in your neighborhood.

In a desperate attempt to milk just a little bit more cash out of the series, Funimation released an embarrassing and unethically misleading trailer which strongly implies the main character will get pussy (spoiler alert: he doesn't).

The manga series is even worse given the fact that at $9.99 per book you get the same story line repeated for fucking EVAR! (except he almost gets laid a time or two...almost)

A typical plotline

Typical Bitchslap

Keitaro: What a wonderful day to completely fail out of school. (Sees something on ground)

Keitaro: Huh? What's this? (Bends over to pick it up) Girls panties?! In the hall?! Oh my virgin virginities!! I hope the girls don't see me with this. They'll probably think I'm some type of pervert going through wardrobes.

Su: HEYA, Keitaro!! Whatcha' doing out here all alone?!?! (Spoken while rapidly kick punching Ketario 2^45 times)

Keitaro: What?! Mind your own business!

(At this point, the blood is in the air and all the other bitches "housemates" stumble upon the pair)

Naru: What on earth are you doing to poor Su? ARE THOSE PANTIES? ARE THOSE SU'S PANTIES? KEITARO, YOU PERVERT!! (flying round house kick)

Motoko: Your death with serve the world. (flying dragon ca-meha meha strike)

Shinobu: Leave Urashima-sama alone! Wait, those are my PANTIES! IIIIIEEEE!! (runs away)

Naru: NOW LOOK WHAT YOU DID TO SHINOBU!!! (tactical nuclear front fist punch)

(At this point Keitaro should be dead, however due to the fact that the author needs to sell more stories to buy his pedo porn the worst Keitaro ends up with is a *snicker* bloody nose.)

Keitaro: WAAH! I hate my life!!

(ad infinitum, ad nauseum... Note: At this point the article writer appears to have vomited on his keyboard)

And it just keeps going on like this. The only way to end this is to admit you have a manga problem, punch yourself in the face until you pass out and are able find a new outlet for the repressed wapanese inside you.


  • Keitaro - Horny nerd/loser who spends the whole animu trying desperately to fuck Naru, but usually ends up fapping to lolicon (In other words, hes exactly like anyone who's ever watched animu, amirite?).
  • Naru - Bipolar twat that does actually wanna fuck Keitaro, but instead gets pissed off for no fucking reason and beats the shit out of him every chance she gets.
  • Shinobu - A 13 year old reverse pedophile that wants Keitaro's shit almost as much as Naru. One of the main lolis on the show. Due to multiple failed attempts on confessing her love to Keitaro, she gets lesbian raped with a gigantic black dildo over 9000 times by Su. She is also bi curious and shares an intimate kiss with a hyperactive Indian girl. In addition to this, she has has BLUE FUCKING HAIR! Occasionally she is seen wearing a sweatshirt with an exclamation point on it for absolutely no reason whatsoever.
  • Motoko - A ninja Dyke that tries to anally fuck Keitaro with the sharp end of her sword. (She did it, too! The link to the video can be found here.)
  • Mitsune - Token whore of the show. Unlike the rest of the characters she doesn't want to fuck Keitaro.
  • Su - Another loli, she too wants to fuck Keitaro but settles instead for Shinobu. She's famous for building gigantic sexual torture devices that look like turtles.
  • Mutsumi - Bisexual whore who traps Naru and Keitaro, brings them to her island, and rapes both of them. She later comes back to fuck Keitaro at least 100 times. The wigger of the show who has several siblings (all bastards) and an undying love of delicious watermelons.
  • Haruka - Keitaro's chain smoker aunt (In fact she is never seen without a cigarette in her mouth) and former prostitute. She aids in breast-feeding all of the girls in the hotel or whatever the fuck it is. Who cares?
  • Kanako - Keitaro's little stepsister, introduced late in the manga series. She is psycho for Keitaro, stopping at nothing to get him, sneaking the occasional sniff of a stolen sweat-soaked shirt of Keitaro along the way. The best girl.

Second series?

The Sequel: With Moar Bullshit.

Later on, in 2001, Love Hina Again was released as a sequel to Love Hina. Consisting of only 3 episodes, the story was about Keitaro fighting the temptation to fuck his hot, inbred, orphan sister (Kanako) that adored him for so long. Keitaro being pissed off that Naru doesn't like him, Keitaro does some date rape, and uses voodoo shit to seduce Naru, but instead seduces his stepsister and screws her. Fans agree that Love Hina Again was more badass and sexual than the original series.


See Also:

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