Richard "Lowtax" Kyanka is the toe-sucking foot-fetish retard currently in charge of Something Awful. With the help of his goon henchmen and former Asian mail-order bride, Lowtax has spent the past ten years in his parent's basement, leeching off his gullible, pseudo-intellectual hivemind, eventually leading Paypal to freeze his account for fraudulent activity.
Lowtax is prone to meltdowns, and can't hold a professional relationship with any company he works with. SomethingAwful has had problems with advertisers, Google, and almost anything that requires Lowtax to deal on a professional level with another human being. Typically, Lowtax will create a service to cut out the need for a middle man (Awful Video, Awful Wear, etc.), but ironically enough most users report hardships with receiving merchandise and will get banned for their troubles. Since Lowtax is truly the premier businessman of the 21st century, it's only natural this success has led to an eventful personal life.
Lowtax has claimed responsibility for the following:
Lowtax is an avowed enemy of the following:
- Uwe Boll
- Furries (despite the fact that Lowtax himself is obsessed with pigs and even has a closet furry working with the site)
- ebaum, who he punched in the face before banging his mom
- Dan Lirette
Lowtax is a major supporter of mangosteens, a type of repulsively shitty fruit that he claims to have beneficial nutritive properties. In the past, he tried to scam goons into buying mangosteen products and mortgage backed securities, to little effect. After being repeatedly trolled by his own forum users, Lowtax had a meltdown:
— A very e-angry Lowtax
A mangosteen grenade is the logo for SASS.
Lowtax vs. PeppermintPatti
Lowtax was very traumatized by PeppermintPatti. Culexor, Vipor231, and Pixelbee joined forces in "The Final Solution to the Problem of Lowtax" and attempted to kill him by snipping his brakelines, poisoning his apple juice, and posting video blogs.  Although the attacks from the youtuber's eventually stopped, Kyanka lives in fear of their reprisal to this day.
As of February 12, 2008, Lowtax is no longer the titular master and commander of his forums, due to the fact that goons actually started talking back to him after he reacted badly to yet another totally avoidable massive security breach. Speculation runs rampant among the ranks: will Lowtax actually give up power and focus on making the front page funny again, or will he continue to micromanage and shit up the forums through their newly-appointed Grand Poobah (who just so happens to live in Lowtax's basement)? MOAR AS IT DEVELOPS
Gallery of a mangosteen foot fetishist
- Lowtax is going to get the crap beat out of him by Uwe Boll.
- Lowtax went and got the crap beat out of him by Uwe Boll.
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