LyinBrian

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Deviantart-favicon.png LyinBrian is a deviantartist, necrophiliac, and one of the contributing members of fail. He posted a story on his devianTART profile about Jack Skellington from The Nightmare before Christmas having sex with Mr.Bonejangles, another skeleton from another Tim Burton Film. This previously unknown subspecies of Necrophiliac, until now, has remained hidden in the stanky depths of AFF, and has been dubbed the 'Skelefag', Skeleticus Paraphilia. Many have pointed out flaws in LyinBrian's skeleton perversion but like any good fucktard, he completely disregards the criticism and goes on to "flame" the people that have criticized his work, despite the fact the people he flames have more talent than he does. He's also admitted to writing a porno taking place between Oogie and Santa from The Nightmare before Christmas. The 'Skelefag' was recently banned, and has left deviantart in humiliation. Possibly back to the darkness of AFF.

End of the Tunnel

As stated, LyinBrian, has posted a long fanfic about two skeletons from two separate Tim Burton films having sex with each other. The fanfic contains so-called "bone on bone" action. The name of the story is "End of the Tunnel" and clearly shows that not only LyinBrian is a homosexual, but also a raging necrophiliac.

He wrote other stories as well, but DA took them down since they were...disturbing to say the least.

These stories include Jack Skellington growing a penis and having sex with Sally, who gave him a blowjob, and Oogie Boogie fucking the shit out of Santa Claus. Some say these stories can be found within the dark scary confines of AFF, but no one has lived to tell the tale since the moment their brain processed the text, they immediately got their minds raped.

LyinBrian = Troll?

When his fugly fanfic was first discovered, he immediately received tons of comments describing how much he fails.

But it doesn't end there.

He immediately began to spam and flame the people that have insulted his skeleton porn fanfic. All of his lulzy comments can be found here:

http://lyinbrian.deviantart.com/activity/ (LOL, BLANKED)

LyinBrian = Tara Gilesbie's bitch

Hell, he even posted a forum thread:

http://forum.deviantart.com/community/complaints/1004933/

(His TL;DR is actually longer than the actual thread)

Basically, LyinBrian thinks My Immortal, the worst Harry Potter fanfiction ever is quite good. He also states the mary sue called Ebony isn't a mary sue. The fact he supports the My Immortal fanfic would earn him enough AIDS to top Africa three times over.

Selected quotes

   
 
You need to fuck off and die flamewr!!
 

 
 

—LyinBrian on PinkieNekoGirl


   
 
I hate you flaming turd!
 

 
 

—LyinBrian on Rasec-Wizzlebang


   
 
you're a coward for disabling comments and a coward for flaming me! your art sucks and it looks like your mom's vagina
 

 
 

—LyinBrian on LalalaTheDestroyer


   
 
I disapprove.
 

 
 

—norrisplz on LyinBrian


   
 
With all these lulzy comments, I hope they ED your ass.
 

 
 

—roundarosie on LyinBrian


You know what, forget it, here's a gallery:

The Return of the Troll

Like many other trolls that lurk within DeviantART, LyinBrian came back with the username LyinBrian2 (how original!), posting a much butthurt thread on the Complaints Forum about how mean the people in the site were and also claiming that the Encyclopedia Dramatica article about him was filled with "lies and bs". And before this second account was hit by the ban hammer, he had the time to post a stolen random animu draw on the internet!

It is yet to know if the great necrophiliac writer will attempt once more to evade ban and creat a new account full of lulz.

http://forum.deviantart.com/community/complaints/1035143/

http://lyinbrian2.deviantart.com/art/my-first-pic-here-76446496

The Fanfic in Question

Saved in case of deletion.


   
 
The gravid moon is low in the sky this evening, a hazy orange that rivals the pumpkins growing beneath spiral hill. My spine quivers in anticipation as I open an underground gateway tomb. If not for being held up, I could have left earlier. It's winter solstice, the night is still young, and I can still make it for my rendezvous.

About half a year ago I had announced to the Halloweentown citizens that I planned to travel to other undead worlds, gathering ideas on improving our own yearly festivities. In truth, I was becoming restless and bored of my pumpkinkingdom. Not to mention a bit exasperated with my duties. Yes, a vacation disguised as an important mission was a good way to put it.

Prior to this journey, I was well aware of beings who were much like myself, but in other ways different. There's something special about Halloweentown. We come in so many forms, some mostly human like the vampires, some beastly like werewolves, and others who are truly monsterous. Other places... are all human. Decomposing people who were once of the flesh. They have clear memories of their brief lives for the most part.

One night, finding myself relaxing in an underworld tavern, thinking my usual questioning thoughts, I set eye sockets on a most charismatic man. He was a skeleton like myself with only a single eye as a reminder of his flesh days. He had a stout, solid build, a far cry from my own limber frame. He was an entertainer, a musician in this pub. A singer with an gravely yet alluring voice. Something came alive deep within my bones as he explained, in the form of a song, about how things went in the underworld. I had to speak to this bone man privately some time. I wanted to learn more about him. I wanted... him.

Some time later, I was approached by the man, named Mr. Bonejangles. The single eye peering from under the bowler hat, he gruffly asked where I came from. I proudly exclaimed Halloweentown. He seemed a bit confused and then repeated his question, asking when I had died. I blinked and thought for a moment. I never died because I never lived. I was just... here. He chuckled and said that everybody comes from somewhere. Just because our memories of life fades... like his own... doesn't mean we just popped up from nowhere. For once I was speechless. The wheels in my skull came alive with a million questions suddenly pounding within. I rushed to the tavern bar, my mind ablaze. I learned another thing the next morning when I found myself sprawled on the floor, my jacket soaked with ale; alcohol does not make a good companion to deep ponderings.

I wanted to explore other underworld cities, but I found myself enjoying this particular one. The Ball and Socket tavern became my favorite place to socialize and unwind every night. In some ways I felt at home among its citizens. Despite my power in Halloweentown, I know I was considered physically mundane. True undead people though, they called me a monster. It was a term of endearment. I liked it. But I couldn't help becoming frustrated that these people were so fully aware of where they came from and where they were going, while I seemed to be trapped in a perpetuous cycle of scaring living humans and pleasing my citizens.

One night, after about a month of being in this undead world, I was sitting at the bar deep in thought (as usual) when I felt a spindly finger brush up my spine. I jumped and spun around. For a brief second I felt like a fool, being a pumpkin king who is sopposed to be the master of sneaking up on others, not the other way around. But I was happy to see it was my one-eyed skeleton aquaintance, Bonejangles.

"You're mighty jumpy for being so-called 'Master of Fright'," he remarked. "Shouldn't you be heading back to your kingdom soon?"

I frowned slightly. "Well, the title of king is more of a ceramonial term. Our town has a mayor. You are correct, however, that I have spent an extended amount of time in your world." I sighed heavily then. I left in July, and now September was rearing its ugly head. Next month is October, Halloween. I really should be getting back.

Bonejangles nodded and said "I can understand why you like it here so much. Everyone who comes here does. Sometimes I wish it'd never end."

"What do you mean."

"Monsters like you have it great. You have eh... magic or something. Keeps you going. Everyone else here? One day we'll be dust. Sure, afterlife lasts a long time. So long for me, I reckon the time I've spent here is the same as living my old life ten times over. But you know... each year, each week, we lose a little of ourselves. See that chap down there? Can hardly keep himself together. Ribs here, arm bone there. Bones missing."

I was shocked. "So even though you're dead, you'll end one day for good, too?"

"Everything ends, Bonedaddy," he chuckled. "In a way this is the end. The sort of end. Then there's a bigger end. You followin' me? It's a nice thought, sometimes. I'd hate to be around forever, myself."

"How odd to be comforted by the concept of ceasing to exist forever. In the living world, I feed off people's fear of death. To them, it is the great unknwon. But you people down here accept your fates without question. It fascinate me greatly. But I regret to say, I must be leaving tomorrow. Duty calls, you know. I sincerely wish I could visit here longer." I meant that. I am a master of concealing my feelings and putting on a facade to please the mayor and other Halloweentown folk. Act happy and excited when I am actually depressed and frusterated. But this time in the underworld, I felt a sense of belonging and warmth. I was not a king to them but a friendly oddity, a curious stranger. Sadness tugged at my old bones. Unlike my Halloween comrades, these people would one day be gone for good. Being aware of their temporary existance frightened me.

The king of Halloween, frightened. This visit certainly brought out some strange feelings within me.

Bonejangles clearly noticed my sadness. "Hey, chin up kiddo. We'll be here a long time. Come visit us whenever you like. We get newcomers all the time, new faces whenever you visit! Doesn't that sound great?"

I suddenly found myself overwhelmed with heavy depression. I have never been aware of the concept of losing someone until now. I don't want change. Wait I do... every day to me feels like a routine I long to break out of. But I don't want change at the cost of losing something. Oh no, I feel myself shaking. This is embarassing. In an uncharacterist meek voice I asked, "Can we... speak privately?"

He obliged. And soon we found ourselves in a back alley with only scurrying rats and spiders as company. I suddenly felt very vulnerable being with Bonejangles alone. I was in danger of spilling my innermost thoughts and feelings to this man. I tried to contain my composure.

"I'm really going to miss you," I said. "I don't mean miss you for a few months, or a year. But..." Good lord, I have never known these emotions. This is killing me.

"You've been around longer than me, kiddo," said Bonejangles, "But you've still got a lot to learn about the world. I learned long ago to enjoy and celebrate the time you got. Why be gloomy about the end? I'm here now. And I am loving it."

I leaned back, my vertebrae under my jacket grinding against a stone wall. This was all so overwhelming. I would never dare let anyone see me in such a state in Halloweentown, but I was free to be more casual here. I forced a smile. "I'll try to love it too."

Bonejangles suddenly slapped a large hand on my shoulder, startling me for the second time this evening. "I just want you to make two promises to me, Bonedaddy. That I will see you again, and that you'll enjoy every minute of my company. I'll make sure of that. There will never be a dull moment with me, you hear?"

Without warning, Bonejangles wrapped his sturdy arms around my frame. Being so tall and slight of build, I found that this robust skeleton had no problem pulling me to his eye level and close to himself. I gasped at finding myself in Bonejangle's strong embrace. He then tilted his head and put his long jaw against mine. It took me a moment to realize this was a kiss. His face is so rigid next to mine. I finally returned the embrace and slid my forked tongue into his mouth, licking his neck bones. A smooth move which got a tremble from the shorter man. Witches and other Halloween womenfolk do lust after me for a reason.

A few moments passed until we broke apart, hands still on eachother. I think that both of us were wobbly in the knees, me moreso. I saw my face in the reflection of Bonejangle's eyeball. I looked ecstatic, rejuvinated. I could feel my confidence returning to me. "The next few months," I said breahtlessly, "will be very busy for me. I will return on winter solstice. It is the longest night of the year. I look forward to seeing you again, Mr. Bonejangles."

"Same, same. Now, hit the road, Jack!" If I had a rear end, the slap across the back of my hips would have been seen as much more awkward. I hugged him one more time before sprinting off to the inn I've been staying at. I waved to Bonejangles as I ran, and nearly tripped over a wandering skinless cat. I must have looked like a foolish lovestruck boy, but I didn't care.

And here I am now, opening up one of the many graves in the cemetary on the outskirts of Halloweentown. Being gifted with long legs, the trip to the underworld will be brisk and quick. I am powered with excitement. The skulls lining the catacomb passageways pass me in a blur. So fast is my gait that could not stop myself when I see another figure standing in the dark and end up crashing into this stranger. I am briefly angry at my own stupid clumsiness and then furious at whoever dared to enter my secret tunnel. Trying to pull my limbs from this stranger's ribcage, I growl... wait, ribcage? Another skeleton? Is this...

"Whoa whoa whoa, I know you're happy to see me and all, but this is so sudden!" His voice is in a mocking, high tone, but I can recognize that roughess anywhere. I gently pull myself from his tangled boney body and help him to his feet. As he dusts himself off, I notice something looks off about his face.

"Jack," he says.

"Bonejangles."

"Be a doll and find my eye, will you? Walking around blind is pretty inconvenient."

Oh, that was it. I glance around and find that big white eye nestled in a leafy spider's web. I dust it off on my jacket before returning it to Bonejangles. That is an advantage to being "enchanted" I suppose, seeing fine with just empty sockets. We stand there for a few minutes. I shift uncomfortably. Why do I feel so embarrassed right now? I mean, besides that fact that I foolishly collided with Bonejangles just now.

"Chilly night, eh?" he comments.

"Yes. It is winter. You know, winter solstice."

More awkward silence. I wish I knew why being with him again, alone, was so hard. I've looked forward to seeing him for months now.

"What are you doing here?" I finally ask.

"You were late. I came down here to make sure nothing happened to you. I am aware of these underground passageways, you know. Well, you're fine now, so let's say I accompany his majesty and make sure the rest of our journey goes smoothly."

I snicker. Bonejangles seems to want to be my escort. I make frequent trips to the living world all the time. I am fully capable of taking care of myself. But I am more touched by his protectiveness than offended.

"Oh, my knight in boney armor, you've come to my rescue!" I comically fall into Bonejangles' arms. "It's so frightening here, what with the crawling spiders and staring skulls. Why I've heard there's these gruesome reanimated skellingtons lurking about, eager to prey on us poor damsels!"

In having fun, I hope I am do not come off as too feminine. I rarely get a chance to play around and relax, what with all my important Halloween duties. Which is one reason I own a pet I suppose. I can sometimes become carried away when attention is drawn to me. Bonejangles just laughs and leans in for a kiss, eager to feel my tongue again.

Love is a strange thing in the afterlife. Living creatures fall in love because it is on the path to reproduction. Undead have no way or need to procreate so in a way,love shouldn't exist. I believe our feelings are more true in this way. I have never pondered too deeply on why different sexes exist in Halloweentown, it was just something I accepted. I know what it is like to have friends and having others admire me. Since we cannot have children, there is no stigma on two men or two women becoming fond of eachother. As the representative of Halloween though, I have forced myself to be distant from my people any intimate way, mainly to avoid jealousies and favoritism. Bonejangles, not being a citizen of Halloweentown, I can be more free with my affection for him.

My crafty fingers work their way through Bonejangles' ribs and along his spine. He shudders and lets out a rumbling moan. Many years ago, maybe centuries, before I was given title of pumpkin king, I used to pleasure others in various ways. Those long buried memories and urges are coming back to me now. I find myself being lifted and then my back pressed against the tunnel wall. Bonejangles is a strong one. At first his touches mimic mine (except that my suit prevents any deep probing), but then I feel a hand slipping down, bumping along my vertebrae as it goes, and finally invading my trousers. The sensation of someone touching my pelvis makes me suddenly shreik shrilly. A cry some would describe as inhuman. The outburst embarrasses me somewhat, but Bonejangles seems not to notice.

I wrap my legs around him then and inadvertantly bring his hips against mine. I don't know why being felt in the pelvic area is so pleasurable, but it is. The back of my skull and spine are rubbing against the wall as I'm being lowered to the ground. Bonejangles' naked hips slowly grind against my clothed ones. Just as I realized how odd it is for him to run around in the nude save for a hat, he gruffly commands "Take off your britches."

The king of Halloween being told what to do. I love it. Just as I begin to unbutton my pants, Bonejangles unceramoniously tears my jacket and undershirt open. Finding me fully exposed, the lustful bone man's wild handling becomes more aggressive. I squirm and writhe under his heavy body and his strong hold. The way he can physically overpower me fills me with ecstacy. He then pulls back a bit and savagly thrusts his hips against mine. Bone against bone. The sudden force causes one of my ribs to snap off. Bonejangles' grip suddenly becomes loose. He must have thought he hurt me.

"Harder!" I hiss. "That was nothing!"

"As you wish, your majesty."

I can feel the deep, rough snicker of his in my sternum, right before he thrusts again. The crack of impact echoes throughout the tunnel walls, as do my demonic cries. Our act would look so bizarre to an outsider, pleasure without the "proper equipment". There is no pain but the roughness is so very appealing to me. I am at the mercy of this man. He could pound me to dust and I would enjoy every minute of it.

That was it then. I must savor my time with him. He won't last forever, that is true. My memories of this moment will fade in time. But I should make an effort to make every moment of my existence enjoyable. Our existence. I hold him tight as the reality that out session will be ending soon sinks in. We're both becoming weary. He's trembling now and his movements have slowed down. I stroke him all over and caress his clavicles with my tongue. With a final thrust he sighs and collapses on me. I won't be able to lift him off but that's all right. I hum softly, the melody sending weak vibrations through my body. Suddenly I remember something I meant to tell him.

"By the way," I say quietly, "I have looked into the records of Halloweentown. My kind can perish, by the hands of another. In other words, we can be 'killed' in a way. The records are vague. Nobody that I know of has ever witnessed any sort of homicide. We are a peaceful people. Isn't that strange, killing someone who is already dead?"

Bonejangles grunts. I take that as a response.

"We have a town doctor. Mad scientist, some call him. He is experimenting with bringing new life into Halloweentown. I am looking forward to meeting someone new, and requested the mayor to fund Dr. Ficklestein's experiments. New life, death... I sometimes wish I wasn't a monarch so I could be left to my studies. I'll be around for a long time so I have all the time in the world. Also..."

"Jack. Please. I love you but I need to rest."

"Ah, yes. Sorry. I'll explain more later." I then realize that our session has taken a lot out of me too. Despite being filled with happiness and fulfillment, my vision fades as I drift into a heavy sleep.

The next morning... or what I assume is morning, for little light can penetrate the tunnels... I awake in a pile of various bones, and Bonejangles himself. That night must have been wilder than I remember, for my ribs are spread out everywhere on the ground leaving my chest cavity nearly empty. When I stand up I suddeny become very disoriented. The looseness in my neck made me realize why, and I happily screw my skull back into place. As I hum and gather up my misplaced bones, I hear Bonejangles groan and hoist himself up. Much cracking is heard. "You're much different than those half-flesh girls back home," he says. "You're, eh, pointy. And long. And not a girl."

"How observant of you."

"Mmm, it was nice though. You're a good kid, Jack. Your majesty."

I was going to ask Bonejangles to cease refering to me as royalty, but I decide that this moment is better left as is. Snapping all of my ribs into place, I yank up my knickers and try to pull my torn up shirt and jacket on.

"In a hurry?" Bonejangles asks.

"I am a busy man, leader of an important town. If I don't return to my dwelling soon, the mayor may go into coniptions and send a search party after me. It has happened before."

"He sounds like a real spaz. All right then, King Jack. Next time, don't make me wait such a long time for a nice romp."

"Heh. Next time I shall make my next visit unannounced and truly scare your pants off."

"I don't wear pants."

"So I noticed." I lean in for one more deap throat kiss and bony embrace. I we part, I grin and grab Bonejangles in the pelvis. I really enjoy the reactions our fondling gets out of eachother. After we get the last bits of naughtyness out of our systems, Bonejangles tips his hat, turns away, and disappears into the dark. I remain where I stand for several minutes and let all that has happened last night sink in. I look forward to coming home and telling my dog, Zero, about what a wonderful time I had, even though he could care less.

Although I am sad that my brief time with Bonejangles is over, I feel a new energy in my bones. Dealing with the mayor should be no problem. Perhaps seeing my calm yet energized demeanor will make him act the same. As I resurface in the graveyard, I am not surprised to see the flighty politician making his way to me, his pale distressed face on.

"Jack! Where have you been! I was so concerned when I waited five minutes after knocking on your door and... dear lord boy, what's happened to you? Were you attacked? Good heavens, your skeleton is showing!"

"Ah... beg pardon?" Just then I realized how terrible I looked. Dirt smudged all over me, clothes torn, and I was just now aware of how wobbly my gait was. So much for not worrying the mayor. My wide smile seems to put him at ease, for his face turns to the more jovial version, though his expression now reads as bemusement.

"Nevermind Jack. It may be better I don't know. You appear fine enough, anyhow. We have a busy day today, you and I. There's only three hundred and twenty seven days left til next Halloween, afterall."

"Three hundred twenty eight. Leap year."

"Ah, Jack! That's right! You must be eager for next year!"

Eager for next year. Right. If only he knew...

THE END
 


 
 

—LyinBrian

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