MIT

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The Massachusetts Institute of Technology is a popular 4-year college, famous among nerds as being "OMG TEH BEST ENGINEERING SK00L EVAR." Also, MIT did robots.

The Infamous Star Simpson. An obvious dyke.
MIT students partol campus, looking for low GPA black person.
How does i built robot?
Professer Agalwar (left) meets with MIT's Engineering Dean.
The Gwammer Nazwis, takwing away Pwofesser Agalwar.
The architect that designed MIT was obviously drunk at the time.
MIT's Quantum Lulz Generator
Typical MIT study group.
MIT student studying for Quantum Buttsecks Dynamics 1301.
Class of 1992 reunion.
MIT student studying for Quantum Polesecks 1402.

History of MIT

Atleast 100 years ago, in the year 1337, a bunch of oldskewl science peoples from India got together and decided to form an Instiwute of Techwology in Bombay to escape persecution for faggotry. Inside the compound they assraped young peoples and made much monies. Then one day the compound got raided by the partybicycle (Indians just can't afford partyvans) and all the young peoples were seized. The remaining pedophiles professers built a time travel machine and teleported the entire "Instiwute" to modern day Boston where they now charge billions of jewgold in tuition to assraep young Asian peoples.

teh MIT

MIT is officially the nerdiest place on the entire fucking planet, surpassing even Tony Stark's cave. Everyone wants to go to MIT, but noone is ever actually accepted there. Professers tend to not give a fuck, a trait MIT shares with many elite colleges.

Some argue MIT contains many Anonymous members, also robots.

To get into MIT you must meet these requirements:

Due to all these requirements, less than -9,379% of students are admitted.

Also, MIT is the reason for rules 15, 21, 25, 29, 34, 35, 40, 43 and 45. No fucking exceptions.

Rule #26 does not apply at MIT; all the girls are just too damn FUGLY.

It's an Instiwute of Techwology

Despite the fact that all the professers just do research and don't give a fuck about teaching, MIT is technically a college. This fact means it contains much young peoples, most of whom are asian.

To make matters worse, the obsessive nature required to take the 100+ AP credits for admissions purposes means there are over 9000 crazy asians contained in one college. This makes for a high an hero rate, along with the constant threat of an Incident.

The Professers' Research generally consists of dissecting and experimenting on the bodies of the thousands of MIT students that commit suicide every day. Also, robots.

Things MIT is famous for:

Statistics

MIT's Student body is made up of approximatly:

Academic Profile:

Student Life:

  • Suicide rate: 1.9 per student, per year.
  • Number of Division 1 Sports Teams: -17.8

Most Common Majors:

Pwofessers

MIT empwoys pwofessers fwom India for great justice. Being Indian, they cannot fuckwing say a sentwence pwoperly, genewating much wulz.

MIT's Pwofessers hwave becwome the butt of nerd jwokes ever swince MIT bewgan owffering fwee wideo wectures.

Here is Pwofesser Agalwar expwaining the Thevenin Voltage Law: (Twons of werbal fuckwups and general wulz) ENGLISH MOTHAFUCKA, DO YOU SPEAK IT?

Star Simpson

Star Simpson is the retarded bitch with the clown hair that walked into the fucking AIRPORT with a circuit board, flashing LEDs and play dough strapped to her chest, someone figured out it would be a damn good idea to switch police on. Seeing as she was not some liberal that does not liek teh police, or some Arab trying to blow the whole fucking place up, they didn't shoot. Had they shot, much lulz and investigations would have ensued.

She still got charged with a black person, and is required to do community service. Star Simpson will forever be remembered as "that stupid bitch with the clown hair that almost got glock'd".

Sodium Party

Every year, MIT students nigger sodium metal from the MIT chemistry lab. They take the sodium, and throw it into the river for great justice. Some argue the students do this because its fun to watch explosives go off. [And of course someone had to fuck up sooner or later!]

General College Shits

Noone ever gets into MIT, fucking accept it. You don't want to be there anyway, it's just too damn nerdy. All MIT "students" are infact actors pretending to be college students.

Fun ways to troll MIT students:

  • Talk about suicide
  • Ask for their GPA and say "YOUR DOING IT WRONG"
  • Ask them to find the square root of -1337
  • Tell them that lawyers still make moar
  • Ask how much they can bench press
  • Take away their General Tso's chicken
  • Steal their rice

Copypasta etc

Some argue that MIT invented all this shit:

Moar lulz

Even MIT has its own set of rules

  1. Do not qwestion the pwofesser's engwish.
  2. Tewenin Woltage Waw is Always Welvent.
  3. Quantum Buttsecks.
  4. Indian Peoples run this. Got a problem with that, bitch?
  5. Pi is 3.14159265358979232846
  6. Moar robots plox.
  7. STFU, NO ONE GIVES A SHIT ABOUT UNDERGRADS. Enjoy ur coursework. KTHNX.
  8. No one fucking gets in, enjoy your rejection letter.
  9. V=IR, I=V/R, R=V/I, P=IV, GPA Always <0.93
  10. Tuition is going up 872% this year.
  11. All the girls on campus only got in by sucking the Dean's cock
  12. After they get in the girls have to suck the guys' cocks as well as just the Dean's

How to get into MIT

  1. Have Asian parents
  2. Eat rice while growing up
  3. Have a 5.0 GPA in middle school
  4. Become err... depressed
  5. Score Over 9000 on the SAT
  6. GET IN!
  7. Fuck up at Physics 101.
  8. Become An Hero
  9. ????
  10. PROFIT! (IRL AS A ZOMBIE ENGINEER!)

Or alternatively, walk in through the front door.

External Links

See Also:

MIT is part of a series on Education

[Drop OutGo To School]