Malaysia

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Did You Know: Malaysian law allows grown men to marry and rape children of any age. Sorry NAMBLA members it only applies to girls.


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This page was made unfunny by self-righteous Pakatan Rakyat fanbois and Indonesians trying too hard.


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Malaysia is a South East Asian tourist trap inhabited by a species of humans called Malays followed by chinks and Indians. The immediate neighbor of Malaysia is Singapore, which Malaysians hate because of the better system of government and the longer age expectancy the Singaporeans enjoy (and also how fckg rich they are), which just means that Singapore is shit better than them. They claim to be an Islamic nation, but really, most of them act like Jews and they still they call themselves true Muslims.

They also have advanced weapon called "Green laser" and successfully rape Vietnam & Indonesia. Indogs lost 3 - 0 and the first leg and win 2 - 1 at the second leg in the football AFF Suzuki Yamaha Honda Misubishi Cup. But indogs still lose 4-2 according to the stupid aggregate points. Well, the Harimau Transexual beat Garuda that night after winning at the GBK. I AM A HUGE FAGGOT PLEASE RAPE MY FACE.


History

The land was called Malya at first, when the teacuppers had nothing else better to do but to rape the poor people there by bringing in the chinks and Indiansas slaves to rape Malaya for them. But somehow after all those years of getting raped by the British and Japanese, some tard finally found a way to free themselves by going to London to claim fake freedom around 1957, and they actually got what they wanted. That easy? Yep. But they're don't realized that, british still take over the goverment of malay-sial or whatever it is called until now

Some retards, should've done that bullshit couple years before...

Now it's called Malaysia. Most people think that it's a cross between Malaya and Asia, and so it becomes Malaysial. Which is totally unoriginal, but everything in Malaysia is unoriginal and that's a fact.

Language and Culture

What Malaysians aspire to be, and failed in doing so

The official language of Malaysia is Malay, which basically consists of sounds created by putting the tip of the tongue on the roof of the mouth just behind the teeth and moving it backwards, unlike the French language that will make anyone who tries to speak it die from a brain jam. Go ask a linguist to do a French tongue twister and see for yourself.

However, in recent years, the Government realized that this inferior language has resulted in many instances of mass miscommunication, sounding like retards and thus started the rapid introduction of English into the country. The Malaysians today mostly speak a modified, unperceivable form of English. The Chinese Maraysians? What erse? They speak Engrish. Mostry spoken by typicar Chineze dat never study Engrish in primary schoor. Also, most of the Malaysians (any race and they are usually 14 to 40 year olds) love Koreans very gayly to the fact they beg for money to pay for a plastic surgery just to look like them, even though in the end they looked like they lost a testicle.

The national food of Malaysia is the Ramli Burger, which is banned in 76 countries up to date. The 'beef' patties are made from (believe it or not)parts of unwanted, dead, donkey parts, such as the nose and dick and testicles, which are flattened using pin rollers and sewed into a patty. The sick and the fckn mad would've loved that. Those sick fucks.

The capital of Malaysia is Kuala Lumpur, which is pretty much just like New York City, only it's about 500% full of shit and has significantly more violent crime. Although Malaysian police routinely pretend stop to crime from time to time, they simply cannot contain the crime rate, as the favourite national pastime in Malaysia is stealing other people's expensive shit.

Executing, be it criminals or Christian priests opposition leaders, is their second most popular national pastime after badminton, a piss-poor copy of tennis. China owns them in this sport, but it doesn't matter if Malaysia or China won as the winner will be Chinese

Malaysia's badminton Olympic team regularly has felt its fair share of limited success, but this is partially due to the fact that no one plays badminton because it's gay.

Government and Politics

Typical Malaysian politician promoting racial unity
MARI CARI AMOI


Malaysia is a dictatorship under the undisputed leadership of Najib who slept his way to the position of Head of UMNO. The UMNO, The United Malay National Organization, runs the Malaysian government, and they are so good at it that's why many Malaysians moved to another country because they want a better life. Prior to Najib's leadership, Malaysia was run by prominent Anti-Jew Activist Mahathir bin Mohamad. After May 9 of 2018 known as the 14th election of Malaysia, the government of Malaysia finally changed from Barisan National to Pakatan Harapan, which is something they should have done in the first goddamn place, replacing Najib with Mahathir (who by the way, is currently over 90 years old, and this is the second fucking time he becomes a prime minister, and he is also currently the oldest ruler of a state).

Ruling party is still Barisan Nasional(BN) since the nation's independence. Promotes 'racial unity' while simultaneously perform racial segregation. BN is composed by sub-parties like:

By the way, after the 14th election which happens at 9 of May, 2018 God finally realizes his shit mistake about making Najib to continue his career as a ruler, and replace the bastard with the fourth prime minister Mahathir bin Mohamad. After losing his career, Najib starts to whine like a little bitch because his passport got blocked and he can't escape. Finally at somewhere around July, Najib got his ass sued by Mahathir and is heading to jail soon after the police finally caught him fapping to some lesbian porn. Well we hope he did got himself into jail, because his horrible mistakes cannot let him escape Malaysia.

The opposition, Pakatan Rakyat, upholds liberal values and frequently uses race card and minority bias. Sounds familiar? Headed by Anwar. Sub parties:

yea right


Voting for Barisan Nasional in the elections is a national duty or you will be perceived as a self-loathing unpatriotic scum or a Singaporean faggot.

Years under Najib Razak's leadership

Nicest words for the experiences Malaysians had been through are the words "Absolute hell" or "Bullshit Country" especially when they are under Najib's control. Najib is also Satan. He takes everyone's money to buy his gold bars and show off of how rich Malaysia is. If not, he gives some of 'his' money to his wife Rosmah Mansor to buy more than 1000 handbags that has only been used for 3 days each. So it was typically a satanic couple ruling Malaysia and turn it into hell at those days.'

Najib usually wants the money from the citizens just to buy a bag which coincidentally has a reversed version of his name called 'Bijan' (a.k.a. one of the most expensive bags in the world holy shit), "Berkin" bags and even Hermes bags. Rosmah, known as a First Lady, has the audacity to bullshit around and saying that people who are calling her a greedy bitch is not true. You're very lucky if you don't live for about 3 years of Najib's control.

Anwar Ibrahim

Another favorite national pastime of the Malaysians is sodomy. Although it is officially against the 'Islamic' law to practice sodomy, only in rare instances has this law has been enforced, and a study in 2005 by MIT(Malaysian Institute of Technology) has found that 67% of Malaysian males between 20-25 habitually practice sodomy while the other 33% practices sodomy every 2 minutes.

In February 2008, Mr. Anwar Ibrahim, a Malaysian politician/complete trash, led a band of gypsies to usurp the throne of Premier Najib. However Najib countered this by pushing Anwar's dick into prison on accounts of sodomy, and loling at his face and lulz. A bogus story was cooked up, and Anwar Ibrahim was publicly humiliated like a sicktard pedophile/necro/furry finally finding out that everyone knows he's a pedo/necro/furry.

Guess what? In 16 of May 2018, Anwar got unleashed by Mahathir Mohamad, and he is revenging Najib currently, but he couldn't find his butthole yet. Mahathir is also now Anwar's buddy as he and Anwar are now finding Najib and his kinky thicc bitch.

Intranets

In 2008, Malaysia went through a massive Tech program to implement the Internet into the country, which was absent from the entire country in the past. Experts from Papua New Guinea were hired to implement Internet technology into the country, and Malaysia can now proudly boast a nation wide 55 kbps connection. And now to make that even better. UMNO is planning on frying every single p2p user in the country via the ISP providers. To quote an online newspaper article, "A proposed new law will enable Internet Service Providers (ISP) to suspend or terminate the Internet accounts of P2P (peer-to-peer) users. This new law called the ISP Liability act, will be tabled in Parliament next month." This bunch of hypocrites who after stealing enough money from their citizens to buy billions of CD's, they decide to sodomize em as well.

File-Sharing site censorship

EDIT: THE PREVIOUS DISCUSSION POSTED HERE IS MOVED TO DISCUSSION PAGE.


Last Thursday, Malaysia decided to be a faggot and raped every ISP to force them to cock block all the access to some file-sharing site. The government quoted the leetspeak that copyright infringement is molesting the media industries. What they actually conspired was they did it for the lulz.

Typical Malaysian Internet users who attempt to access these sites, will had their browsers returned with AIDS.

This resulted in much butthurt to the internets pirate who copypasta files into their hard disk. Many more gone BAWWWW because they can't download pr0n into their machine and fap at CP again. Not longer happen because even retard figured out how to access to these site easily by proxy and other VPN, which make block set up with over 9000 of dollars useless.

Despite of this act of censorship, Malaysian are still retard enough to feed the ISP with million dollar of income so that they can have internets.

Anonymous trolling in process!!

Afterward, real drama ensured. Anonymous decided that Malaysia had enough period to retain their virginity and plotted conspiracy to gangbang the government portal for great justice. At first they was like I Am In Your Base Killing Your D00ds and created various amount of lulz. But tragically, government doesn't give a fuck and brought the portal back on. They said will take serious business to sue anonymous.

Some Wimmins decided not to be offended and created facebook page to protest the act. The page encouraged much troll to spam with over 9000 cocks.

The block was ordered by Rais Yatim as The Man of Malaysian Cyberspace Multimedia Association who have same stupidity as Bush.

Actually the whole Malaysia was sodomized by the government who illegally violated copyright infringement and blamed it on citizen. This fact is proven by one engineer doing fixing by programmed the government computer with SQL Injection reported that the hard drive was fulled of illegally downloaded stuff.

In summary, the typical Malaysian Internet user is fed with dick-flavored dildo almost everyday by their glorious government and their pet ISP.

Malaysian ED users

Are not funny and mistake ED for Uncyclopedia or Wikipedia.

Examples

Summary of Malaysia in 6 minutes

With Extra English Subtitles

See also

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