Manchild

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A manchild.

A manchild (see also basement dweller) is an adult male who refuses to accept the responsibilities of adulthood and chooses instead to live as if they were a young child, in other words you. It is also a known fact that 99.99% of manchildren are furries, and have hard-ons for Sonic the Hedgehog and colorful cartoon ponies. Naturally, this means that they are gigantic faggots, and invariably furfags.

This is always the result of a "serious mental handicap". As in, they are too fucking lazy to get a job.

It is interesting to note that manchildren, as their name suggest, are almost always male and that there is no such thing as a 'womanchild'. This is likely because the qualities that make manchildren so pathetic (childishness, naïveté, sexual inexperience) are generally considered positive, attractive qualities in women by men and because society considers it acceptable that women are allowed to be parasites that do nothing but laze around at home for the rest of their lives.

Contents

Cause

Pampers Size 7.jpg

More and more, children are becoming a product of gross societal negligence, piss poor parenting practices, backwards educational requirements inferior gene pools and overzealous marketing endeavors. Largely stemming from "Generation Barney", children of the 90s were taught early on that failure was perfectly acceptable. Starting with the "No Child Left Behind" stupidity, kids were suddenly being brought down to the level of the "lowest common denominator" of the classroom, given A+'s for having an "A"ttitude that was "+" positive, it suddenly became more crucial to make kids as happy as possible and with as little disappointment than it was to actually educate them in any meaningful manner.

Kids were taught that it is "okay" to be a basement dwelling welfare leach so long as they were happy and had a good attitude about it. They were taught that it was "okay" to wet the bed past the age of 5, giving an increase of demand on baby diapers that were put on the market last thursday that would have been completely laughable in decades past. Fast food happy meals were likewise super sized, not because kids were actually eating more, but simply because they kept on ordering the baby meals well on into their tweens and teens.

Our society has since degenerated into a form of super acceptance, to the point where failure itself is something to be celebrated and standards of acceptable behavior have downgraded to a near infantile level. Creative new medical conditions and disorders have likewise arisen, allowing parents to raise "unique" little diseases rather than real children. Mommy's little malady, daddy's little disorder, it has become literally in vogue to have a "special" child with a "special" problem, upon which any failures or generally bad behavior can be labeled with a convenient, all encompassing excuse.

Symptoms

Another manchild.

The subject in question may exhibit many of these classic symptoms:



A typical manchild. Notice how he hates things made after the 1990s.

What manchildren like to do erryday.

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Stages

Typical manchildren
  1. Fagolescence: Adults who act like teenagers
  2. Olchai: Adults who act like children.
  3. Adult babies: Adults who act like babies.

Types

Generally there are two types of manchildren, the emotionally unstable drama whore type and the flippant, fun loving, lazy bastard type. The former make for excellent trolling due to the fact that they'll blow up over the slightest little thing, often have great difficulty controlling their emotions and are generally prone to acting out with little inhibition; most often due to lack of recognizing the potential consequences and outcomes of social situations.

More often than not they tend to float over in the aspie end of the spectrum, while the later category tend to be apathetic, carefree neurotypicals who generally don't take anything seriously...at all. Trolling or flaming that type is not recommended, they'll simply laugh it off, poke fun at you for not acting like them and due to their complete inability to take anything seriously (least of all themselves), any attempted attack or troll will fail before it has even begun.

Examples

Gallery

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See also

Einsteinaspie.jpg Manchild is part of a series on Aspies.
Manchild is part of a series on Dying Alone

Poemo.jpg Those Who Have Died Alone

Aaron SwartzAdam LanzaAlexis ArquetteAmy WinehouseAnna Nicole SmithAmanda ToddBrian AdamsBrandon CrispCharmaine DragunChris BenoitChris Harper-MercerChynaCodey PorterDavid BowieDavid CarradineEdaremElliot RodgerElvis PresleyGeorge SodiniHappyCabbieHeath LedgerJeff WeiseJewWarioKitty0706Lemonade CoyoteLeelah AlcornLiloMegan MeierMichael JacksonMitchell HendersonMySpaceOtoya YamaguchiPekka-Eric AuvinenPrinceRehtaeh ParsonsRicardo LopezRipperRudolph ZurickShawn WoolleyShayTyler DumstorfVester Flanagan

Those Dying Alone

2 gryphonAhuviya HarelAIDS SkrillexAnita SarkeesianAlex FordAlison RappAmerica's Third PartyAngry JoeAnonymous BorgAnthony 'A-Log' LoGattoApril DavisArgent009Arguecat3AsalieriAvidracoBambifan101Basement DwellersBenny_the_SnakeBenthelooneyBig RedBikerfoxBill9929Bill GaedeBob RehahnBrandon SmithBrian MuellerBrianna WuBroniesByAppointmentToCarl the CuckChloe SagalChris-chanChris CrockerChuck M.Coughlan666CrazyvideosandrantsDaniel BrandtDan CilleyDavid HockeyDBoyWheelerDeekerDeterminedToDrawUTDGTrixieDiaper BoyDJ KEEMSTARDnepropetrovsk maniacsDorian_GayDon RobertsDoug WalkerDragoneerDrakonEmosEpic Fat GuyEric RidenourErik RibsskogFilthy FrankFagolescentsFanFic CriticFast EddieFat ManFaust & Pory Five Nights at Freddy's fansFluffy teh wolfForeverKailynFriends of A-LogFurriesGirlvinylGoddessMilleniaGreg MazujianGhostG-ZayHellkiller777I Dislike Cis PeopleIan Miles CheongImma-The-DeerJamil The KingJessica LeedsJohn BullaJohn FieldJohn Patrick RogersJonathan McIntoshJonmonJoseph CampJoseph8276Joshua "Null" MoonKathleen ToddKenny GlennKevin HavensKimmo Johan AlmKrashedLecarickLeigh AlexanderLeonard F. Shaner Jr.LifeInATentLikeicareLinkaraLittleKuribohLordelthibarLucian HodobocManchildrenMarblesMariotehplumberMarjan SiklicMcJuggerNuggetsMDetector5‎MeganSpeaksMichael GimsonMike SandyMoleman9000Monica PunkMoviebobMuZemikeMylarBalloonFanMysteriousMrEnterNaokoElric2250Nathan GaleNawlinWikiNeckbeardsNick BateNick BravoNoah AntwilerNotchNullcherriOnideus Mad HatterOnyx ForepawPaulie CalafioreParkourdude91Peter CoffinPhil FishPhunWithLogicPit ViperPixyteriPreachingthegospelRandi HarperRicki RavenRobert Wayne StilesRomeo RoseRootbrianRose3212Sad FrogSammyClassicSonicFanSam PepperSarah ButtsSarahisniftySceptreSchnookumsSethistoSimply OkamiSlowbeef & DiabetusSnapesnoggerSonmanicSophie LabelleSuperlisamcbTheAmazingAtheistTheDOSFagTheSockDetectiveTJ LaneTom PrestonTourneyfagsTrey Eric SeslerTrigglypuffTyciolTyler GarmanyUlillilliaThe Unknown AutobotVadeVinceintheBayWade FulpWeatherManKevinWoWfan4lifeWwwareaWeegeeisgoingtokillmYoshiwii1YouZoe Quinn

Their Methods

9gagAIDSAnimuAsperger's SyndromeAssigned Maleask.fmBath SaltsBody PillowsBoozeBullyingComputer Science IIICosplayDead FriendDeath penaltyDeviantARTDrugsEdginessFanFictionFeminism The Filthy Frank ShowFive Nights at Freddy'sFleshlightFriend ZoneFurry ArtGarry's ModGooglewhackingHackingHomestuck‎Hover hand‎HufflepuffInfantilismInvisible GirlfriendIRCJenkemKiwi FarmsKotakuLegoLeague of LegendsLibertarianismLiveJournalLonelyLoveShyMai WaifuMen's rights activismMinecraftMLP ForumsMMORPGsMUDsMy Little PonyMy Tiny DickNice GuyismOculus RiftOh ShiternetOnline datingOnline sex gamesPlastic CrapPlenty of Fish/r9k/RuneScapeSecond LifeSelf-seclusionSilk Screen Goku ShirtTaking the Internet Too SeriouslyShy Boys IRLSluthateSmogon UniversitySocial JusticeTeam Fortress 2That Guy With The GlassesThe SimsTulpasTumblrTV TropesUncyclopediaVloggerheadsWizardchanWorld of WarcraftYouTube

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