Marco Rubio

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Jump to navigation Jump to search
Error creating thumbnail: File missing
Marco Rubio when he isn't hypocritically being anti-faggot.

Little Marco Rubio is a United States Senator from Florida. He was a Republican candidate for the presidency of the United States of America in 2016, and is quite popular among certain sectors of Republicans, even though a Latin "brown". This is because he is seen as the Republican version of Obama, in various ways, one being that he also had virtually no experience before running for office; along with the fact that like Obama, he isn't someone who has intelligence to create actual policy and is instead a nice PR image for his party while they fuck over the same cholos that would be enticed by his candidacy in the same way niggers did Obama.

Little Marco was born in Miami, stronghold of the illegal Cuban refugees. His father was a merengue dancer, and his mother was a waitress at Mojito's Bar. Seeing that Barack Obama became president, Little Marco also became interested in this vacancy after all, if a child of Muslims managed to win, maybe a son of Cuban can too. Rubio dropped out of the presidential primaries after receiving anal rape from Chris Christie and Donald Trump, and subsequently went back the U.S. Senate (despite saying he was not going to seek reelection) and his foam parties.

#RobotRubio short-circuits entire campaign due to Christie at GOP debate

Error creating thumbnail: File missing
Subliminal advertising indicting Rubio's true allegiances.

Before the GOP debate on February 8, 2016, Marquito was beginning to look like the only solid contender left against Donald Trump, and the traditional big donors were beginning to flood money into him after being stung heavily with the fact that they wasted $150 million on Low Energy Jeb Bush. He was also getting endorsements from the traditional neo-cons and bible-belt fuckers who they knew they could rely on for that tried and tested 'Strong Conservative Principles'. Of course like most politicians, Little Marco likes to repeat 30-second focus group-tested polished sound bites that he memorized from his advisers and scriptwriters, and does not hold any views of his own that might be seen as controversial with needed voter bases.

The one who noticed this in between his regular visits to Dunkin' Donuts and Krispy Kreme was Chris Christie, the fat cunt had not been having such a good time in the primaries, and was butthurt that a billionaire and then someone who had not even served a full term as Senator was beating him in the polls and the votes. Christie knew that if he went after Rubio the same way that he does McDonald's and people who like to use a plant for recreational use, he'd be able to show America what a twat Little Marco truly was. He just needed to prod him about being the Republican Obama and then just wait for the robot to suffer from a malfunction in the speech department.

"Let's dispel the notion that Marco Rubio knows what he's doing."

The aftermath of his glitch-out was the recognition that Little Marco was not going to the guy who would win against the man who took down an entire political dynasty who had ruled the GOP for four decades, eventually losing in his own state to Trump; dropping out as an absolute fucking failure shortly thereafter. This meant that the only person who had any chance at stopping Trump from becoming the GOP's presidential nominee was the Zodiac Killer.

Of course we should note that it didn't help Christie Kreme much either, and he exited the race two days after the debate on February 10th. He would be the first former candidate to endorse The Donald on the 26th, and embrace the fact they got their arse handed by someone who built golf courses and sold mail-order steaks for a living.

The end

Error creating thumbnail: File missing
Checkmate, Little Marco.

Rubio's final fate in his presidential bid would be to drop out after getting completely demolished by Donald Trump in his home state of Florida on March 15, 2016.

See also

External links

Marco Rubio is part of a series on
Gay Republicans
[NO! CLOSE IT, CLOSE IT!OPEN THE CLOSET!]
Marco Rubio
is part of a series on Politics.
Ideologies: [You are wrong!We are right!]

Alt-rightAnarchyCapitalismCentrismCommunismConservatismDemocratHippieLiberalismLibertarianismMiltopismNaziNihilismNeo-conPacifismReconquistaRepublicanSocialismTory

Issues: [Fuck it, Too lazy.Get it fixed!]

AbortionArab SpringBahrainBarron TrumpBirthCISPADeath penaltyDrugsEnvironmentalismGaysGeorge Bush doesn't care about black peopleGirlfriendsGround Zero MosqueMass ShootingGun controlGunsHealthcare (2) (3)• HomelessHousing CrisisHuntingIceslaveIranMarriageMiltopiaNAUPimpin'RacismShoesTaxesTerrorismUnemploymentWarWelfare

Politicians: [Rigging Elections is funVote for me]

AhmadinejadAkinB.AllenG. AllenAngleAshburnBachmannBhuttoBin LadenBlagojevichBlairBoehnerG.BrownS.BrownBunningDubya BushGeorge H. W. BushBurrByrdCainCameronChavezCheCheneyChomskyChretienChurchillClintonClinton IICleggCohenColemanCorbynCowgerCraigCthulhuCunninghamCurtisD'AlemaDeanDelayDuterteDwyerEdwardsFaganFiorinaFoleyGerald FordRob FordGellerGillardGingrichGiulianiGonzalesGoreGrahamGravelGreeneGriffinHagueHansonHardingHarperHitlerHowardHuckabeeHusseinJacksonJamesJidetteJohnsonJohnson, BorisKennedyLaRoucheLBJLottKerryKindKissingerKucinichLewinskyLiebermanLimbaughLoughnerMajorMarceaux.comMarxMcBerryMcCainMcHenryMcKinneyMercerMichael BloombergMooreMorocco MoleMussoliniNaderNixonObamaO'DonnellO'RourkeOsbornePainePaladinoPalinPaulPelosiPencePerryPinochetPrittPutinQuahQuayleRasanskyReaganRendellRiceRobertsonRomneyRoveRuddRumsfeldRyanSaakashviliSandersSantorumSchumerSchwarzeneggerSharptonCyril SmithJacqui SmithSpitzerStevensStranahanSupremeTaitzThatcherThompsonThorleyTPMMuckraker MoleTrudeauTrumpVenturaVitterWarsiWashingtonWaxmanWeinerWestWilliamsWilsonWolfowitzXXenophon

Parties: [No beer? Fuck that.Hell yeah, a party!]

America's Third PartyBlack BlocDramacratic PartyHard PartyLemon PartyLiberal Party of AustraliaNorth American DONG PartyOBAMACORNSocialist Workers PartyPirate PartyZapatistas

Tactics: [Rage Quit.How do I get elect?]

2013 US Government ShutdownBlaming ChinaCaptain Nigga DefendaCloward Piven StrategyCuckservativesDemockeryG20 Toronto LollercaustLiberal Butthurt SyndromeLiberal guiltMacaca#NotMySuperbowlChampsOccupy DemocratsOperation LemonpartyRaped StatisticsThe ResistanceUpworthyWunderground

See also: 2012 Elections2016 Presidential ElectionsInternet PoliticsPizzaGatePolitical communities

Portal faggotry.png

Marco Rubio is part of a series on

Homosexual Deviants

Visit the Faggotry Portal for complete coverage.

Error creating thumbnail: File missing
Marco Rubio
is part of a series on Donald Trump.


You're gonna love this article, believe me.
Donald trump eyes glowing.jpg
Featured article September 25 & 26, 2016
Preceded by
Learn the difference
Marco Rubio Succeeded by
Tiziana Cantone