Mark B. Cohen

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Made of nothing but win.

Mark B. Cohen is a Philadelphia politician and IRL lawyer recently turned E-lawyer. He loves the forum and believes it will replace all newspapers and take over the world. Recently, Cohen manually compiled a list of Phillyblog's top posters, revealing that he knows nothing about the internets.[1] Even moar lulz ensued when Cohen's penis began commenting on the entry.[2]

I hope your ugly cyberbullying gives you the satisfaction that you are looking for and adds meaning to your life.


—Marky Mark, trolling trolls (trolling newfags)


I feel threatened by philly blog and Rep. Mark B. Cohen’s penis.


—MBC Penis

such is the power and girth of Mark Cohen’s penis that it actually scares itself.



you mean the one he fucks taxpayers with?



I hear it’s ribbed with per-diems for taxpayers’ pleasure.



hello i am a potato


—Horace Steenblatter

and I’m a sentient ATM.


—Sentient ATM

And I’m a giant-size Dunkin’ Donuts munchkin!


—Giant Munchkin

and I’m Mark B. Cohen’s giant, per-diem studded penis!


—MBC Penis

And I am the gigantic sheath in which Mark B. Cohen’s penis lay!


—MBC Penis Sheath

And I am the bunghole of the taxpayers who have been fucked by Mark B. Cohen’s gigantic, per-diem studded penis!


Taxpayer asshole

Thank you for helping me document the extent of the libel that I have been subject to on this site.


—Marky Mark, displaying his understanding of libel


This blog reveals that while every single one of his colleagues returned the Cost of Living Adjustment, he had no qualms pocketing the extra $2600 (for a total salary of $94,949, not including his health plan).

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This article is a crappy stub. You can help by completely re-writing it. Be sure to make it longer, girthier, and more pleasurable.
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