Mark Essex

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Jump to navigation Jump to search
I'ma keel you for dressin me up like this, Honky!

Mark Essex was a N'awlins Black Panther and dumb nigger IRL troll before you were born who went for a high score pwning "just honkies" and then proceeded (because he was ruh-TARD-ed) to murder a black police officer. His plan was simple. He took his .44 Magnum Ruger Deerslayer to the police station and waited in the parking lot for pigs to come out. After scoring two kills (one black), he got away on foot, not because he was too poor to own a car, but because niggers have extra ligaments in their legs which make them faster than cars.

Deader'n shit. Hmm...this'un here's gon' be good eatin'!

Using his finger-like monkey toes he then swung up from a nearby tree onto the roof of the Downtown Howard Johnson, gaining perfect sniper position and for over ten hours picked off rescue workers, cops and other bystanders while shouting down Niggerish such as "Free Africa! Come on up, pigs!" and "Come on out, you honky motherfuckers! You afraid to fight like a black man?"


   
 
Over the noise of the shooting, Essex’s high-pitched screech could be heard, “Die, you fucking pigs!"
 

 
 



'Step away from the dead nigger...while we wait for the forks.'

The Pigs Fire Back

The honky pigs thought they were smart and sent up a ghetto bird full of machine gunners to pwn his ass 'Nam style but he was faster than the bullets and took cover under a concrete cubicle for the night. In the morning thinking everyone had gone home Essex walked out and got super-pwned by police snipers and Marine machine gunners who all simultaneously unloaded into his black ass achieving a record score of over two hundred killshots on a single target while fapping furiously to the image of a fresh bloody nigger corpse.

The police then ate the body, adding hot sauce and spitting the bullets out like watermelon seeds and washing it all down with 40 OZ. cans of ©Magnum malt liquor.

Background

Niggerish Good writing

Scared of the draft and a total pussy, Essex joined the Navy, earning the valorous position of Dental Assistant. But Essex was a nigger and he was black, and at the Naval base the white officers were "treating (him) like a nigger!" and calling him "black boy." This was too much truth. And because the truth is the source of all the world's butthurt (and because there were no chitlins), Essex's ass began to bleed hate for the White Man and his goddamn reasonable attitudes and functional institutions. Discovering he was too much of a pussy even for the Navy, the young Essex thought he might fit in with the Black Panthers Pussies, who also bled from their asses and blamed the White Man. There he was taught how to write militant retarded Niggetry on his walls, like "Shoot the devil like you shoot a dog pig pig" and "kill black pig devil" and "Hate white people dick dirt."


Science?

honky pig food

After the rooftop riflefun, Black-est Panther Stokely Carmichael confused everyone by using big words and counting past 10.


   
 
We should study and learn from the actions of Brother Jimmy Essex. We should understand that Brother Essex carried our struggle to its next quantitative level, the level of science.
 

 
 

Black Power

Of course none of the brothers understood what the fuck dude was talking about or what science was (unless he was referring to Essex's Dentistry background??) and the Panthers continued to be better known as the Black Pussies because as everybody knows if you call yourselves the "Panthers" you're obviously a bunch of Fags. And anyway, none of the other brothers seemed to follow Brother Essex in becoming lulzy honky pig killers because they and the honky pigs were of a like mind on one thing: it's more fun to kill niggers.

"Right On!"

   
 
Knowing that the sniper’s targets were whites, and understanding his hatred all-too-well, some black onlookers greeted the sniper’s rifle shots with enthusiastic cries of “Right on!”
 

 
 

With the help of this soul chorus down on the street shouting things like "There go one over thar! Keel him too!", Essex was able to pierce the guts and blow the faces off of many deserving honkies and honky pigs. The police on the ground then accidentally turned their guns on the nigger cheerleaders, but failed to score.

Graded Score

Graded Score
Kill Count:
Accuracy:
Style:
Butthurt:
Bonus:
9/20
16/20
18/20
17/20
15/20
13 Injured
 
Shot and Ran, like a causal Nigger
 
GTA in 1970s
Total Score: 75/100 (C)
Thank you, Micah's grandfather
See full ranking


See Also

Mark Essex
is part of a series on
Terrorists
10%

Big Players

Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi Adam Lanza Anders Behring Breivik Antifa Australians Barack Obama Black Lives Matter Cho Seung-Hui Death to Traitors, Freedom for Britain DisruptJ20 Dnepropetrovsk maniacs George Soros George W. Bush Grog Jack Gilbert Graham John Walker Lindh Matthew Murray Michael Moore Mohamed Abdulaziz Rashid Saeed-Alim Muslims Osama Bin Laden Robert Hawkins Sharjah Ruler Sam Hyde The Finnisher The Unabrower Timothy McVeigh Unabomber

Terrorist Groups, Beliefs and Causes

Arab Axis of Evil Binghampton Iran Ireland Islam Israel Pakistan Palestine Sudan

Terrorist Actions

ATHF Terrorist Attack Ariana Grande Massacre Beheading videos Binghampton Tet Offensive BLMKidnapping Boston Marathon Bombing Breitscheidplatz Columbine Dallas Sniper Attacks Delaware State University Shooting Gaza War Khalid Masood's Westminster motor massacre London Bridge Attack 2017 Mass Shooting Narcovideos Nice Truck Attack 16 Nitroglycerin Occupy Wall Street Oklahoma City Bombing Paris Mass Shooting Pulse Nightclub Massacre Police Brutality Ramadan Van Man VTech Waco WTC

HighScoreLeft.png
Mark Essex is part of a series on High score pokemon.png
Are You Ready?[Game OverInsert Coin]Go!
HighScoreRight.png
Single Player Elite Hall of Fame

Adam LanzaAnders Behring BreivikAndrew KehoeAriana Grande MassacreBaruch GoldsteinBrenton TarrantCampo Elías DelgadoCharles Whitman's TumorCho Seung-HuiDevin Patrick KelleyFort HoodJack Gilbert GrahamJames HubertyJeffrey DahmerLuby's massacreMartin BryantMutsuo ToiNice Truck Attack 2016Omar MateenPatrick CrusiusReina Nightclub MassacreSagamihara StabbingsShinji AobaStephen PaddockTed BundyVladislav RoslyakovWoo Bum-kon

Single Player Amateur Division

Aaron AlexisAlexandre BissonnetteAli David SonbolyAnton Lundin PetterssonAurora Theatre ShootingBreda Highschool MassacreBreitscheidplatzBruce Jeffrey PardoCapital Gazette ShootingCharles BishopChris Harper-MercerConnor BettsDallas Sniper AttacksDavid GrayDavid KatzDavid LongDeath to Traitors, Freedom for BritainDerrick BirdDeWayne CraddockDimitrios PagourtzisDmitry VinogradovDylann Storm RoofElliot RodgerÉric BorelGabe ParkerGeorge SodiniGian Luigi FerriJames Alex FieldsJared Lee LoughnerJason DaltonJason RodriguezJaylen FrybergJeff WeiseJesse OsborneJiverly VoongJoe StackJohn Russel HouserJosef FritzlKhalid MasoodKimveer GillKip KinkelMamoru TakumaMarc LepineMark BartonMark EssexMatthew de GroodMichael CarnealMichael Kenneth McLendonMichael RyanMikese MorseMr. SaariNghtmrchld26Nikolas CruzPekka-Eric AuvinenPennsylvania School StabbingRamadan Van ManRandy StairRobert BalesRobert BowersRobert HawkinsRobert SteinhäuserSantino William LeganSayfullo SaipovSaint Petersburg Metro bombingSeth AtorThomas Watt HamiltonTim KretschmerTJ LaneTrystan Andrew TerrellUnabomberWade Michael PageZhao ZeweiZug Massacre

Multiplayer Co-Op Mode

1-14 Jakarta AttacksBoston Marathon BombingCharlie HebdoColumbineHiroshima and NagasakiJews did WTCPearl HarborSan Bernardino shootingSandniggers in ParisSri Lanka Easter BombingsTimothy McVeigh

Civilization and Great Prophets

Adolf HitlerAugusto PinochetCharles MansonHeaven's GateHolocaustJonestownJoseph StalinKim Il-sungMao ZedongOsama bin LadenPol PotSaddam HusseinWacoWorld War II

Banned From Scoring

Asa CoonBilly MitchellBrian Isaack ClydeJohn EarnestLogan ClarkNasim AghdamSam HydeSol PaisTodd RogersWilliam Atchison

 
[WatermelonsFried Chicken]
Mark Essex is part of a series of topics related to Black People
Nigra walking.gif Places

AfricaAfro-chanAtlantaDead Nigger StorageDetroitE.S. Nigger Brown StandEgyptGambia ♠ The GhettoHabbo HotelKenyaLiberiaMediatakeoutMozambiqueNawlinsPrisonRepublic of Sierra LeoneSomaliaSouth AfricaSudanTanzaniaWashington, DCZimbabwe

Personas

AboriginalBlackineseBoko HaramChavCripsGothNativeNiggerNegressNigraOFWGKTATransniggerWiggerYounger Woolwich Boyz

People

Aaron AlexisAbner LouimaAdria RichardsAfro NinjaAfroduckAinsley HarriottAlison FloydAl SharptonAmanda KijeraAmericanDad86Antoine DodsonBags of MoneyBANGSBarry BondsBernie MacBill ClintonBill CosbyBlack DiligentBarack Hussein ObamaBLACKB0NDBLACKbusterCriticBLACK_MANBlue-SixBomani ArmahBrandon PhillipsBrenda WilliamsC-NOTECandyJunkieCarltonCasey BrezikCharlie Check'mCharles RamseyChris DornerCondoleezza RiceCosmo SetepenraCRoadwarriorCulexorDarius McCollumDangermanDave ChappelleDcigsDramasetterDr. Laura SchlessniggerEugene TerreblancheFresh PrinceFuture the rapperGary ColemanGeneral Butt NakedG-ZayH2OHappy NegroHerman CainIsmaaiyl BrinsleyIsaac HayesJadaJames BarkleyJames WatsonJeremiah TrueJesse JacksonJkidJoseph KonyKanye WestKerney ThomasKobe BryantLatarian MiltonLil BLoud NigraM0M0koMadThad0890MajelaZeZeDiamondMalcolm XMark EssexMartin Luther King, Jr.Matrooko11Marvin Morvan and Alex TeniolaMary Alice AltorferMaurice ClemmonsMicah DawsonMichael JacksonMichael VickMike TysonMintahMiss LandmineMr PregnantMr. TMuteba KidiabaMychal BellNawlinWikiNicki MinajNigger PigNtokozo QwabeOFWGKTAOG LocOJ SimpsonOld Spice GuyOprah WinfreyP DiddyPurple AkiQueen KongRachel DolezalReverend XRobert Butler Jr.Rocky LockridgeRon MexicoRoyce da 5'9"RucasRudy EugeneSenator Barack Hussein ObamaSheneequaSonicfoxSoulja BoyStarlaglamSteve Hodder-WattSteve StephensSweet BrownRick RossTacgnolTarisai VusheTay ZondayTedius ZanarukandoThe Booty WarriorThe CrackheadThe TrashmanTiger WoodsTookie WilliamsTony48219Tony EvereadyTrayvon MartinTyra BanksUnMaskingTheTruthValisHDVester Lee "Bryce Williams" Flanagan IIViperWaluigis-girlWill SmithWrong Location Nigger

Parlance

Are You Serious?BECAUSE MY CAPS LOCK KEY IS LOUDBix NoodBOOYA!Dat AssDINDUNUFFINEbonicsENGLISH MOTHERFUCKER DO YOU SPEAK ITFirst World ProblemsFlea Market MontgomeryFuck The PoliceGeorge Bush doesn't care about black peopleHack is Wack!Happy NegroI Go Chop Your DollarImma Let You Finish IM PRESSIN CHARGESNiggers tongue my anusNot racistRead a BookScrub Me Mama With A Boogie BeatSittin On Tha ToiletSmell yo dickThanks ObamaThe BoondocksThese CuffsWE WUZ KINGZ AN SHEITWHOOYou'll Cowards Don't Even Smoke Crack

Pastimes

365Black.com419 Nigerian Email ScamsBasketballBlackbirdBooty ShakingChikinsChimpoutConspiracy theoriesCrackDallas Sniper AttacksDogo Nahawa MassacreDolemiteFUBUJenkemKFC Double DownKool-AidLinux for NiggersNigga Know TechnologyPool's ClosedRacismRapRapeRiotsSlave TetrisSoulja Boy Tellem ChatSwagThe Black SentinelThe Great Black Dick Hoax (see also Niggerdick and Niggercock)TwitterUbuntuVoodooVuvuzelaWatermelonzWorldstar Hiphop

Past

BLACK FACE contempoLynchingNO NIGGERSSlavery (see also Nigger Manual)

Present

AIDSAll The Niggers Are DeadBlack Lives MatterBlack People Love Us!Chocolate RainComputer Science IIICulexorGay Nigger Association of AmericaJena SixP.A. PalaceSheeeitThere are no niggers on the InternetUnemployment ♠ and Welfare

Enemies

A. Wyatt MannAznCopsDylann Storm RoofEbola virusEmploymentEpic Beard ManIlluminatiKu Klux KlanJames WatsonJohnny RebelJustine SaccoKramerRacismSpicsPopobawaWWhite peopleWhite supremacyWhitewashing

Mark Essex is part of a series on Psychopaths
[It rubs the lotion on the skin or else it gets the hose againInflict suffering]
3g1h-phone3.jpg Spree/One-time Killers:

Aaron AlexisAbdul Razak Ali ArtanAdam LanzaAlex HribalAli David SonbolyAnders Behring BreivikBaruch GoldsteinBruce Jeffrey PardoCasey AnthonyCho Seung-HuiChris Harper-Mercer Daniel PetricDmitry VinogradovDylann Storm RoofElliot RodgerAmanda KnoxGeorge SodiniGerry McCannJared Lee LoughnerJason RodriguezJeff WeiseJiverly VoongJoe StackJosef FritzlKimveer GillKip KinkelLindsay Kantha SouvannarathLogan ClarkMalik Nadal HasanMarc LepineMark EssexMartin BryantMatthew MurrayMatthew de GroodMatti SaariMaurice ClemmonsMichael CarnealMichael RyanMichael WoodmanseeMutsuo ToiPekka-Eric AuvinenRaoul MoatRobert BalesRobert HawkinsRobert SteinhäuserSebastian BosseSteve StephensTJ LaneTim KretschmerTyler PetersonTheodore "The Unabomber" KaczynskiVester Lee "Bryce Williams" Flanagan IIWade Michael PageZac Penton

Career/Serial Killers:

Charles MansonChris BenoitHitlerMao ZedongJack the RipperJames HolmesRichard "The Iceman" KuklinskiTed BundyJeffrey Dahmer

Terrorists:

Al-QaedaDzhokar TsarnaevOmar MateenSanta ClausTamerlan TsarnaevOsama Bin LadenEric Harris and Dylan Klebold Sam Hyde

See also:

Antisocial personality disorderCannibal HolocaustParanoid personality disorderSick fuckMurderJewsPolice Brutality