Mark Levin

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Not pictured: Levin's raging erection for Ronald Reagan

Mark Levin is a homosexual neoconservative American radio host and the former life partner of Ronald Reagan. During the 1980's Levin worked for President Ronald Reagan perfoming such tasks as fellatio, 69, and the occasional Cleveland Steamer. After his lover went batshit crazy and starting pooping himself, Levin began an unlistenable talk radio show as well as a sexual relationship with fellow conservative douchebag Sean Hannity. Levin is also famous for his great love of dogs, although not in the traditional way. He and actress Fran Drescher are currently locked in a heated battle for the title of "Most Annoying Voice in the History of Mankind."

Shitty Books

Levin has written three books to date. One is about Supreme Court members not being fascist enough. The second is more lulz worthy, as it is a book devoted to drooling over his two dead dogs.

Sprite was so beautiful. He had big brown eyes and the softest fur I'd ever touched. But neither of these features compared to his beautiful rosey red penis. Sometimes after I'd returned from the studio after a long day of sucking off Sean and Rush, I'd find myself stroking it for hours.

The third book is about the destruction of America's asshole with the habanero sauce that is satanic liberalism. Levin pimps his books every five minutes on his "radio show," and also gets screened callers to call in to praise the holy book. Levin responds by purring like the Conservative pervert in a room full of young male interns. Every once in awhile a caller gets through who makes a good point against him, but don't worry Levin knows how to deal with this. He simply turns down their volume and shouts like a 12 year old fag until they hang up. Then he calls them a liberal bitch and everybody wins, amirite?

All of Levin's books are famous for having very few pages and very large print, so as to assure that his painfully retarded fans can understand the context. It is rumored that he will soon be authoring a children's book, but his publisher has expressed concern that his adult fans won't realize that it wasn't written for them.

Gay Relationship

In August of 2004, Levin met conservative talk radio host Sean Hannity. Sharing a fondness for ignorance and hatred of niggers, Levin and Hannity quickly fell into raging gay anal sex. On occasion Levin appears on Hannity's television and radio show, flirting hard before driving hours to fellate him. Levin enjoys speaking softly to his listeners about this when he shyly coos "Sean's always trying to get me on his show..." Contrary to popular belief, Hannity's nickname for Levin ("The Great One") comes not from his admiration for his broadcasting skills, but from his admiration for Levin's rimjob skills.

The Homosexual Bunker

Levin's radio show and podcast reference a bunker from an undisclosed location. This is due to President Obama's blackness, fear of minorities, and AIDS. Levin got the idea after witnessing Dick Cheney's superhuman paranoia during the Bush administration. The bunker is in fact a fortress of faggotry. Eyewitness male prostitutes report of bizarre sexual acts including Eagles, slices of apple pie and sodomization with the American flag.

IT'S EIGHT O CLOCK UNDER GOD YOU COCKSUCKING LIBERAL!

Nicknames

Levin uses a number of unclever nicknames to describe anyone he wants to troll. These include: MSLSD, New York Slimes, Keith Overbite, statists, and marxist to name a few. Thanks to this practice, it is painfully easy to spot a Levin listener on the internet, as they can only mimic the "satire" of their Jewish Führer. If the name in question can resemble anything negative, Levin uses it repeatedly to the delight of his rich white listeners. Imagine a child in middle school making shitty puns out of names and institutions and you get the point. But of course conservatives are the real "adults" in the political world. Wink wink.

Video example

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Mark Levin
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