From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Jump to navigation Jump to search
Matlab looks like shit but it is NOT a {{crapstub}}. It is a work in progress!
If you require assistance beefing up this article, then hit up the experts on our IRC.

Matlab can also be used to draw jews.

Matlab is a shitty scripting language for those who wants something unstable, slow, expansive, leaking memory and with no flexibility because they can’t be bothered to learn a real scripting language.


  • Breaking with conventions, all arrays start at index 1.
  • Double precision floating point is the default type for everything.
  • Two-dimensional arrays can be accessed by a single index, but it iterates over rows before column, for some reason.
  • There's no function to show result, you do it by omitting a semi-colon after a line, so forgetting it might result in Matlab taking 2 minutes showing every pixel value of your high resolution image.
>> x=[1 2 3; 4 5 6; 7 8 9]
x =

    1     2     3
    4     5     6
    7     8     9
>> x(4)
ans =

>> why
She obeyed the hamster.
>> isinteger(x)
ans =


>> isfloat(x)
ans =

For the love of a bald and terrified mathematician.
>> x(0)
 ??? Subscript indices must either be real positive integers or logicals.

Matlab in engineering classes

Engineering students are also unfunny.

In many engineering classes, Matlab is taught as an introduction to scientific programming without much success to the hopeless undergrads. As the students are hip, a wave of shitty meme has been created, documenting their collective failure.

The most successful students will end up writing programs that will later have to be completely rewritten in another language by real programmers.

Matlab is pretty easy language. Very similar to C++.


—Someone not very good at pretending to know things.


A GUIDE GUI in action.

The only worthy aspect of Matlab is the ability to make ugly Visual Basic looking GUI with very few efforts that continue to work after dozens of errors, a very useful feature for lazy fucks that can’t be bothered to fix their code.


Octave is the even slower open-source clone. Don’t bother.

External Links

  • Matlab - Go here and laugh at their prices, or read about it, idk.

Softwarez series.jpg

Matlab is part of a series on


Visit the Softwarez Portal for complete coverage.


Matlab is part of a series on Programming.

[2 L337 4 MEEnter the Matrix]