McDonald's is a children's restaurant where poor people go to eat cheap, processed, greasy food for less, and is the official symbol of American gluttony. McDonald's has established many cells (called franchises) in countries all over the world, where they continue to kill innocent Chinese kids with American poison, at which time the bloated yellow carcasses are stripped of their delicious meat and sold back in America as Happy Meals.
It should also be noted that UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES should you take a girl to McDonald's for a first date, you Jew.
Super Size Me
Long ago, Morgan Spurlock made a shit movie called "Super Size Me" about him being a fatass and eating nothing but super sized McDonald's food for a month. Immediately after seeing that, if eaten without moderation, McDonald's food is more unhealthy than it usually is, they immediately removed super sizing from the menu. Much butthurt was had by fat people worldwide, while simultaneously lulz were had by master troll Spurlock.
They love niggers
McDonald's grew to become a fast food Goliath and was the #1 'restaurant' in the world. However, throughout the 2000s, profit started to slow down, until actually declining throughout the 2010s; the result is that hundreds of McDonald's have closed down. Corporate has seen a fall in sales for 13+ quarters in a row.    
Notable "Incidents" that took place at a McDonald's restaurant
- San Ysidro Massacre: On July 18th, 1984, a 41-year-old batshit insane father-of-two named James Huberty rekt the shit out of all the illegal immigrants gorging on processed sloppy McDonald's crap in San Ysidro near the Mexican border, killing 21 ppl and wounding 19 moar, reaching the all-time High Score for that year and thus qualifying for the ownership of the Golden iPod until 1991, when some pissed-off virgin threw a truck into a restaurant and went Touhou on everybody who was drinking coffee at a Luby's resturant in Texas.
- Taiwan bombings: Between April 28/29th, 1992, a crazy plumber played Bomberman on seven McDonald's restaurants in Taiwan, resulting in the death of a police officer and four other fags injured in the explosions. Every McDonald's restaurant in Taiwan was shut down for two days, and the fat fucks of Taiwan chucked a hissy-fit over it.
- Sydney River murders: On May 7th, 1992, Three dudes broke into a McD's in Canada after closing hours with the only intention of robbing the establishment. Three n00bs were pwn'd and a fourth one was shot in the neck, but survived. She is now a Cripple 4 lyfe. The perpetrators were expecting to find over $200,000 in the restaurant's safe, but instead they only raked in $2,017. All three players were apprehended and are currently getting fucked by a pack of niggers in the slammer.
- Beating of Chrissy Lee Polis: On April 18th 2011, two shenigger baboons roaming around in Macca's in Maryland hunting for fried chikinz sighted an unidentified moving object named "Chrissy" disguised as a lady trying to enter the women's restroom only to be spat on the face and slammed into the ground repeatedly. Upon hearing the commotion, McDonald's employees began recording and chanting "WORLD STAR WORLD STAR!!!!11one!" Justice was served when "Chrissy" had a violent seizure and began to bleed from the mouth. One of the attackers was a 14-year-old niglet who has likely been killed/killed someone else by now, while the other was 19-years-old and is currently being held captive in the ape exhibit of the Maryland zoo. At the end of 2011, Howard County passed the protections for transgender people into county law.
- Munich Massacre: On July 22nd, 2016, an 18-year-old mudslime scored 9 kills and a further 27 injuries in a mass shooting half as æpic as Tim Kretschmer's chimpout in 2009. The massacre began within the vicinity of a McDonald's restaurant, and the shooter became An Hero the moment the polizei showed up. rip.
- Fry Guy
- Louise Ogborn
- Mac Tonight
- Moon Man
- Morgan Spurlock
- The McNugget Burgler
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