Jessica Lynn Evert
Jessica Lynn Evert. Also known as "MessyJessie", "JessicaPDX", "J-Dawg", and "frty777".
In August 2012, she became the EDF2 lolcow of the
week month. Jessica is known for her ability to go from internet tough guy to whimpering attention whore in two seconds flat, her inability to STFU, and her nudes available to anyone with Google.
- 1 In The Beginning
- 2 Jessica The Crazy Bitch's Felony Charges
- 3 ThePotShot
- 4 Dox Are Dropped
- 5 Gallery Of Nudes
- 6 LOL SUICIDE NOTE
- 7 Called In Her Boyfriend
- 8 Memorable Jessie Quotes
- 9 At The Moment
- 10 Did you know?
- 11 Dox
- 12 See also
In The Beginning
The shitstorm of lulz was sparked by a single intro post some time last Thursday. The post excited the users of EDF2 due to its amount of USI and complete faggotry. Although it has long been a staple of EDF to haze new members in an attempt to weed out those with thin skin, the sheer attention whoring stupidity of Jessie's post made everyone genuinely wish she would GTFO.
The vomit of text below is word for word Messy's intro:
—Just Jessie being Jessie
From this post came a response force of a million warm welcomes telling her to shut up, get out, fuck off, show tits, kill herself and make sure no one ever finds the body. Just like 99% of everyone who comes to EDF, she ignored this crapflood and kept posting. Only in this case, they were not kidding.
Shit Gets Real
After this display of faggotry on the intro thread, a jew
troll not troll decided that this new user should be looked into a bit more, discovering an interesting revelation. That being that our new friend "messy" was actually a prostitute and a violent felon.
Jessica The Crazy Bitch's Felony Charges
On the date of July 14, 2011, after being promptly dumped by her boyfriend, whom she met as one of her clients as a prostitute for her indecent lifestyle, our blundering anti-hero went on to burn his stash of legal medical weed to the ground as revenge. According to the official police report, after setting the fire she ran away and got a call back from the victim of her crimes. He told her that he wanted to talk about recent events , but in actuality he had called the party van. Upon Jessie's arrival she was promptly V&.
From this account of the events you could be forgiven for thinking Jessica is fucking stupid, and you would be right! Because that's not all! Contrary to the police report, Jessica told a slightly different story on the forum's shoutbox. Revealing that, after her attempt at arson, her boyfriend decided to choke the bitch. Little did he know that this only made her panties wet, and he was soon rewarded for his attempt to kill her with sex. Meaning he still got one last blowjob out of his ex girlfriend before sending her off to jail.
ThePotShot is a satire site that deals with mocking recently arrested individuals in general, and hookers in particular. Imagine their delight when they realized that one of their favorite article subjects is also a member of their site.
Recognizing Jessica from her recent arrest, they promptly published an article about her, detailing the accounts of her various exploits on the site.
It was soon reveled that Jessica is a whore, and a bad one at that. From the accounts of her and her clients it became apparent that she has type two herpes, which she does not see as something she is obliged to reveal to her customers. In her 4000+ comments on the forum and massive butthurt tantrum on the sites comment section several ex clients exposed that fucking her is like fucking a dead fish. They also found her account on a dating website for people with STD's. Jessica in turn THREATENED TO MURDER SEVERAL OF THE COMMENTERS and acted like the crazy whore that she is, while at the same time still trying to convince people to come pay her money for sex, as if someone would still want her after finding out about her VD's.
The Second Article
But the lulz did not end there. Jessica was so crazy that her actions soon earned her a second article after she CALLED THE WEBSITES OWNER AND LEFT A DEATH THREAT ON HIS ANSWERING MACHINE. According to his own accounts, since her article was published Jessica has been flooding his Emails inbox with crazy shit, sob stories, death threats and naked pictures of herself and her past clients.
This second bout with her also revealed such charming information about her as: Her failed attempt at modeling, claiming to be homeless, telling people that while living on the streets she was forced to shit her pants because she could not find a restroom and an endless supply for forum posts ranging from her detailed plans on how she intends to commit murder to her offering to marry anyone who is nice to her.
After her second insane rampage she was banned from both ThePotShot forum and the other prostitute forum she used to sell her body and eventually found her way to EDF hoping that there her utter faggotry would be welcomed.
Dox Are Dropped
After her articles, nudes and other information was published on the forum Jessie blew a shit fit and deleted her avatar as if that will somehow conceal her identity. But the forum users did not relent, and jumped on this goldmine of lulz, exploiting it to no end Causing "messy" to rage uncontrollably. At some point during the shitstorm she pissed off a leet hacker who dropped her . Not that finding her dox is particularly hard, because in her stupidity, she is quick to volunteer HER OWN personal information to anyone who asks, in some misguided, CWC-esc attempt to make things better by making them worse. In response, Jessica raged and DEMANDED pictures of her dead grandfather be removed from the forum. And lulz were had by all.
Despite having every other kind of nude online, no pictures of Jessica's vagoo could be found (found some later anyway), and the EDiots were not satisfied. But Messyjessie was kind enough to send the same person who exposed her on the forum her nudes after he offered to delete her dox. Little did she know that the Jewy overlord of the forum had already done this to another user. Withing moments of sending him her herpes infested vagina, he posted the pictures on the forum. It took her an entire day to realize she could just delete them, but by that time they were already saved.
Learning absolutely nothing for past experiences, she continued to flirt with anyone who made the slightest attempt to pretend to like her. Finally she agreed to strip naked on tinychat and was videotaped doing so. During the conversation she also showed everyone on the chat her bottle of anti crazy pills.
Here are her naked videos:
Gallery Of Nudes
During her stay, an array of pictures were found. Most of which, but not all, feature Jessica stark naked. Here is a collection of them:
And in video form:
Furthermore, Jessie has admitted that there used to be a lot more naked picture of her across the web that she does not know where they are located or if they are even still up.
Happy hunting seems like someone found them and added them to the article.
LOL SUICIDE NOTE
— Jessie, threatening to kill herself over words on the internet
It turns out that like most users on the Internet when Jessie quit forever it was a clever lie and likely a ploy for sympathy. The next day she had already recovered from her desire to off herself and attempted to play the suicide letter off as a prank, which did not stop her to repeatedly write more insane rants, proving that she probably meant it but was too much of a pussy to just do it already.
Called In Her Boyfriend
At some point she invited her 32 year old jew boyfriend (Joe D. Anderson) to join her in her fight. Soon it was discovered that birds of a feather flock together and her boyfriend is as retarded and pathetic as her. Within minutes he posted his own nudes and admitted to the following:
- He suffers from premature ejaculation.
- He dates Jessica despite knowing she has herpes.
- He dates Jessica despite knowing she is a prostitute.
- He dates Jessica despite knowing she has been using the forum to find men to cheat on him with.
- He let Jessie tie him down and piss on him and thereby infect him with herpes as well.
- He he doesn't care about any of this because he can't get laid by any girl who is not crazy/a whore/ugly/has a VD/cheats and he is desperate for pussy.
Memorable Jessie Quotes
Everything Jessica says is so amazingly retarded you can't help but laugh. Her debating technique is comprised of lying, denying the obvious truth, telling sob stories, spewing insane rants, acting crazy, daring people to come meet her so she can kill them and then pretending nothing happened and coming back for more abuse.
The sheer volume of this section becomes unbelievable when you realize that all of this is was said by her in less than two weeks in a single forum during the course of little more than 300 posts. 90% of everything she posts is laughably stupid and is quoted here.
— Good luck denying being mad after this.
— Jessie does not think she needs to warn people that she might infect them with herpes.
— Okay, we will.
— She is also an admitted racist.
At The Moment
Jessie now spends her time endlessly spamming the irc and shoutbox with desperate attempts to fit in with yet another forum that doesn't like her, talking to herself, flirting with the same person who made the thread about her, telling the users her life story, getting called retarded and acting like she doesn't care despite occasionally exploding into fits of rage where she tells everyone on the forum she hates them and dares them to come to her house so she can kill them. Her exploits quickly gained her an entry in QOTN, a fagtag and three EDF "medals", and she is quickly working her way to the EDF2 shitpost hall of fame.
There is no foreseeable end to her reign of terror, despite user's asking her to leave. so get use to it
Finally got banned for E-stalking Zaiger and possibly text bombed. Later she was reported to her parole officer for admitting to drinking and prostituting in violation of the terms of her parole, as well as a previous report for tax evasion and we all eagerly reading Oregon local news to see if she had been arrested again yet as a result.
After her ban she cut her hair in a last act of Britney Spears style crazy, and she now stakes out the EDF2 tinychat channel in desperate hope someone will log on (it's empty 99% of the time) and will be willing to talk to her crazy ass.
Did you know?
- That Jessie is better than you.
- That Jessie does not do drugs.
- That Jessie was in special ed.
- Except for her anti-psychotics.
- That Jessie will kill you if she finds you.
- That Jessie will fuck anyone with lots of monies.
- That sex with Jessie is bad for your health.
- That just because you are getting laid doesn't make you a winner.
- That your glorious past doesn't make up for the fact that you are a fuck up.
- That if you cant beat them join them ,but if you can't do that you should probably Get the fuck out.
- That Jessie gets off on being hit, called names, tied down, pissed on and chocked.
It appears that Jessica has been deleting her dox from every place they were uploaded. Therefore we have no choice but to upload them here.
Name: Jessica Lynn Evert
Hight: 5' 10
Eye Color: Blue
Conviction: Arson II, booked 7/12/2011
Court Case No: 110732920
DA Case No: 2222207
Phone Number: 503 619 6333
Emails: [email protected] (primary)
Residence: Scappoose, Oregon.
Jessica Lynn Evert does not have a home address, and is assumed to be sucking cock for room and board. Was living with her boyfriend until she was recently dumped.
You can send her mail at:
PO Box 1354
Scappoose, OR 97056
Or you may send mail to her father at:
33420 SW Sycamore St
Scappoose, OR 97056
Phone Number: (503) 543-0242
33051 NW Sandberg Rd
Scappoose, OR 97056
Address: 52079 SE 3rd Pl
Or you may send mail to her other relatives at:
Mary Evert (maiden name Hlavinka)
52079 SE 3rd Pl
Scappoose, OR 97056
You can also contact Mary at work while she helps out with the deli:
Scappoose Senior Center
33342 Meadow Dr
Scappoose, OR 97056
Doug K Evert
215 S 13th st
Saint Helens, OR 97051
Alternate address 1:
184 River St
Saint Helens, OR 97051
Alternative address 2:
1335 2ns St
Columbia City, OR 97018
Occupation: Local 290 Plumbers and Steamlifters
20210 SW Teton Ave, Tualatin, OR 97062
Patricia "Patsy" Evert
51673 Columbia River Hwy
Scappoose, OR 97056
Occupation: John L Scott Real Estate
Joseph D Anderson
14715 E Burnside St, Apt 308
Portland, OR 97233-2887
Email: [email protected]
- This sparked the whore's downward spiral. - She has a banned account on the forum too. Where she spewed more crazy shit.
- Her OTHER article on that site. - Where she tells the admin she will kill him.
- One of her insane walls of text gets featured as "Quote Of The Now".
- Her profile on a dating site for people with STD's.
- Her profile on a modeling site.
- Probably her profile on an "escort" site.
- Her profile on another whore site.
- Her Facebook.
- An article about her arrest.
Her dox.- Had them deleted.
- the thread that started it all.
- the official shit storm.
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