Metal Gear Online

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Metal Gear Online (also known as MGO or Laggy shit only mexicans and niggers play) is the multi-player side to the Metal Gear franchise. The "game" was developed by Konami last Thursday, and unfortunately there have been a total of three MGOs, but the only one anybody cares about is the newest one for Playstation 3, obtained only by purchasing the movie, Metal Gear Solid 4.

Typical CQC moves on MGO

The Games

How people say "hi" on MGO

There have been three Metal Gear Online made (four if you count the gay Portable Ops+ expansion for the PSP), all really nothing but a shitty add-on to make people keep playing Metal Gear Solid games even after beating it. The ones for the PSP were dubbed MPO and MPO+, seeing as not even PSPfags wanted to be associated with the cancerous MGO community

MGO1

Obviously the first version of the game released, MGO1 contained several glitches, lagged often, unbalanced and outright terrible game that came with Metal Gear Solid 3: Subsistence. Despite it's many flaws, people still played the fuck out of it. The modes were pretty simple, usually some variant of kill other people or hold this frog while killing other people. There was also a mode where one player could be Snake and 7 other faggots would be guards. It was supposed to be played like the single player game where Snake is invisible to guards and are incredibly weak in comparison. Except when you realized that each guard could use sonar and it was essentially a clusterfuck of bullets trying to be the one to kill Snake. You could also play as several other characters when in all actuality the only one that mattered was:

  • Young Ocelot: Russian faggot with Unwarranted self importance. His pride hat made it able for him to survive a headshot, which made him broken as fuck, therefore popular with new players. GG.
  • Raikov: Another russian faggot, and I mean that literally. Likes to grab player's nutsack to knock them out, if he doesn't pass out of pleasure that is.
  • Sokolov: An old guy who pisses himself, based off one of the guys in Lemonparty

Metal Gear Solid: Portable Ops/Portable Ops Plus

This is one of the portable MGS games made by Konami. Their inner Jew wanted to cater to the portable crowd, and did so with this piece of shit game. The online multiplayer game is riddled by hacks and 13 year old kids, not to mention elitist "pros" and scene girls who's Second Life accounts got banned. Very similar to MGO1 (unfortunately), this one lacked any notable improvements and introduced a bunch of new problems. Some blame hackers for destroying the fun out of this game. You know what, fuck it, it is their fault. Link to one of the hacking communities. Mostly spam and lulz are to be had now.

Vietnamese people and niggers are the only things inhabiting the servers these days. The funny thing is that they all brag about how much they can bench press, talk about how hot their girlfriends are, and talk shit about how they're joining the Army when none of them have lives. In fact, the only thing that you need to know about these people to determine that they have no lives is that they still play this shitty game.

The servers are full of shitty clan drama from butthurt elitist fucks who talk shit about each other day in and day out, but, unlike the noble black person social structure they're too pussy to actually 1v1 IRL. Their flames range from "LOL GET OUT OF MY GAME SLOTH" to "I'M GONNA FREEZE YOU", which are in turn lulzworthy since their fat ass fingers are too big for the PSP's tiny buttons. Naturally, these fags are easy to troll. Make a fake character with a clan tag from a gay clan (M.C., MoFo), join another clan's match, and talk shit until you are kik'd. Rinse and repeat for maximum lulz.

Weapons and Equipment

M16A1 Fully automatic american weaponry. Like most of it's category, it works like a Puerto Rican on a Monday morning The American FOX units rarely use these because they are often smart enough not to use one as they know what happens to the American soldiers in Vietnam as a result of using one.

AK47 Overused Russian piece of shit. The gooks at Konami decided to make the only Russian assault rifle the best in the game, seeing as they are still filled with hate from World War II.

XM177E2 The best assault rifle and worth using, silenced so you can take out motherfuckers without triggering a zerg rush of enemies around.

MK22 Date rape gun with a silencer. Tranquilise the enemy, take them to the back of the truck or teabag them a bit beforehand if desired and we'll take it from there.

Single Action Army (SAA) Gun for fucking showoffs. Though the bullets can bounce off walls and exterminate those campers for great justice and lulz. The pathetic fire rate and reload time gets you killed off by someone still alive with the AK47.

M1911A1 7 round pistol. Female officers only use this weapon in the game but rather than go into actual combat with such a weapon they should stay in the kitchen to cook for the hungry men instead.

MAC-10 Cannot use the fucking iron-sights and by the time you empty a whole magazine just to get rid a few cunts the silencer becomes useless.

M37 Pitiful magazine size for a shotgun.

M870 Actually good for close range extermination of multiple enemies. Angers people online. Use it moar!

Uzi The gun of Jew and the gun for Jew. Actually worth using for that spraying action.

Scorpion Equipped with a laser pointer so that a mere sub-machine gun becomes an instant sniper weapon. Useless otherwise because the .32ACP ammo won't kill as much people.

SVD Your generic semi-automatic sniper rifle. Fun to chase enemies carrying an SVD when they're running away like chickens only to get knifed when you get too close.

Mosin Nagant Impractical bolt-action sniper rifle with 5 tranquilising rounds per magazine. Gives away your position because of its fucking loud noise and you will find you are better off with the MK22.

M63 Although the accuracy becomes horrible when held down on full auto, one thing to have in mind is to KILL THEM ALL. Watch the enemies get pushed backwards with each round being pumped into their body.

RPG-7 Lulzworthy in singleplayer because of its effectiveness against zerg rushes of reinforcements. Absolutely fucking useless in multiplayer because you are only allowed 2 rounds and doesn't even do decent damage, use for annoyance only. Rounds somehow fly straight ahead throughout its flight path like a real Modern Warfare RPG-7.

Knife Cannot just run and dispatch your opponent. The one hit kill requires you to hold the FIRE button before stabbing them while next to the opponent leaving you vulnerable already.

Magazine Leave one around for the male soldier for entertainment. While a male soldier enjoys himself too much with one and a female officer comes to his direction observe their reaction. Obviously does not work against Artists because they're faggots and women because they need to keep their minds focused on recipes to feed the hungry men.

Claymore They aren't invisible like in Metal Gear Solid but at least don't give off fucking laser beams like in COD4. Make sure every soldier in your team has one to place everywhere to annoy others in multi-player. Time and time again, both the AI in single-player and some people in multi-player just fall for them. Proven itself as a fun trap in many FPS games.

LN G This is probably the most entertaining weapon devised my Konami and if used wisely, you can successfully pwn anyone. With the Liquid Nitrogen Grenade, you can freeze the enemy's weapon and in their brief moment of confusion, own the shit out of them. It's useful with pros who can only use assault rifles ironically enough.

Stun G Loved by teh noob, this grenade creates an intensely powerful light & sound, temporarily blinding and deafening anyone in the vicinity. Normally the retarded noob ends up stunning himself.

Chaff G In single player mode, it prevents pussy guards from calling for backup. Online, it prevents pussy pros from using Fulton.

Grenade Not even worth being talked about. Extremely shit range, minimal damage... need I say more?

Pron mags are very effective.

MGO2

MGO2 comes with Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots, and is really the only version of Metal Gear Online worth mentioning, because it's the only one that people actually play. Because this game was just a desperate attempt to raise sales for the PS3, you automatically know you have a glitchy, worthless, clusterfuck of an add-on in your hands. Then again you might want to play Modern Warfare 2 for the same experience.

The games tries to mimic tactical warfare, and just like in real wars, you are awarded for getting head shots and can easily distract your opponents with porn magazines. As expected from any online shooter, you can choose from several different types of guns, but they all pretty much suck anyway. Collecting "DP" by doing good can allow you to purchase better weapons.

The newest in the MGO line up, its filled with a bunch of pointless shit like spending hours leveling up a useless skill just to find out that you will never use it, or saving up reward points to buy clothes to make your hideously ugly character even uglier. Or you can spend your well earned IRL money on Jew expansions, useless codec extras, and yes, even extra character slots.

Like MGO1, there are special characters, but they are only playable after buying the expansions.

  • Metal Gear Mk.II: Robot controlled by Snake's nerdy weeaboo friend, Otacon. Pretty much useless and gets killed too easy. Uses stealth camo to turn invisible. Pretty much invented to brake your analog stick, inevitably forcing you to buy moar controllers.
  • Johnny (AKIBA): A trap otaku. Three headshots in a row will cause him to shit himself. He also get the best gun in the game, and I'm not talking about his shit stink trail.
  • Mei Ling: A shitty piece of chink ass that no one ever wants to get stuck playing as. Attempts to kill opponents with a ship. If you ever play as her, you are guaranteed a spot in last place.
  • Liquid Ocelot: Fingerbangs opponents to lock their SOP system. Is a sore loser who can restart matches for a second chance. Looks like he came back from a gay club.
  • Raiden: White-blooded Scout. A broken cheap-ass cracker. If you get to play as Raiden, be sure to use all of you cheap abilities to piss everyone off. If you see Raiden coming at you with his sword, just lay down... SRSLY.
  • Vamp: The Undead Blade. A vampire-esque freak who can resurrect in the location he is killed. If you kill Vamp, camp around a bit until he gets up, kill him again, repeat. Like Raikov he is a literal faggot who wants nothing more than to get some of raiden's sweet sweet cyborg ass.

The game would be decent if it wasn't filled with glitchers, lagswitchers, elitist fucks, and of course if the game mechanics were on par. This game will die the same way MGO1 did and MGO3 will be just as bad knowing those dumbfucks at Konami.

Weapons and (Metal) Gear

SMGs

Vz.83 Skorpion-- Piece of shit SMG used by people too pussy to use an AK-102 in the beginning of the game

P90-- 50 BULLETS. MORE THAN ENOUGH TO KILL ANYTHING THAT MOVES. Used by white trash players who just got off Call of Duty 4

MP5SD2-- The retarded offspring of an SMG and an Assault Rifle. Has literally no recoil, further implying that konami knows how to make a game.

Assault Rifles

AK 102--Clunky, broken gun. Don't even try using this shit without AR skills.

M4 Custom--If you don't use the M4, you may as well leave MGO forever.

MK. 17--A shitty composite between the M4 and AK. Does a buttload of damage and has unrealistic spread.

XM8--A n00b gun with a built in dot sight to help your piss-poor aim. It's basically an M4 with dot sight worth 1500 DP more then a M4, it makes no fucking sense to get it. If your aim is that shitty just get an M4 with dot sight.

G3A3-- Best assault rifle in the game, takes a great deal of damage. It also has a farther range than the M4.

Sniper Rifles

SVD--Your basic, run-of-the mill sniper rifle. n00bs will clamber up to sniping spots by the truckload to show off their skeelz. In the end, all they do is spam shots like crazy and let the SVD's high damage output use the rest.

Mosin-Nagant--The rapedate version of the SVD. Puts your enemies to sleep.

M14 EBR--"That M14 isn't an assault rifle, hoss." An automatic sniper rifle.

VSS--Another automatic sniper rifle, equipped with rapedate bullets AND regular bullets. In case you ever consider killing your rape victims.

DSR-1--The most powerful sniper rifle. One body shot will kill most players. Even getting shot in the foot is fatal. Konami put in a lot of effort to make MGO as realistic as possible.

Shotguns

M870 Custom--OMG SHOTTY RAAAAAAGE

SAIGA12--AUTOMATIC SHOTTY RAAAAAAGEEE

Other Primary

RPG-7--A rocket launcher. While lulzy, it's terrible as far as weapons go. Overpriced.

Riot Shield--You can still get shot through the eyeholes. Fail.

Handguns

GSR The best handgun you can use. Everything else is shit.

MK. 2 Pistol Date rape.

SA 1911 Operator Shitty handgun with poor rate of fire.

Glock 18c HS machine, using it will make people hate you.

MK. 23 Even better than the GSR--fired fast enough, its damage output is on par with the lower caliber submachine guns.

Deagle Use it to show off your massive DPenis. The recoil will break your wrists.

THOR .45-70 Liquid's gun. Bolt action, so you know some faggot on YouTube has made a montage using it

Etc.

Grenade-- Nigger pros spam this in the beginning of the game to earn cheap kills, doing so will make you look cool

White Phosphorous Grenade KILL IT WITH FIRE

Stun Grenade Spammed by noobs that 100% of the time, stun themselves.

Chaff Grenade Spammed by TSNEfags even thou it doesn't help, good to make your teammates STFU with their shitty codecs.

Smoke Grenade makes enemies drop KEROTANS and GAKOs. Also makes your voice deep or high.

Claymore Place one by the enemy spawn, it pisses them the fuck off.

S.G. Mine A radius trip bomb that knocks out your enemies. Once knocked out, they faggot usually aborts the game.

C4 Plastique. Put one on your enemies back, let them go, BOOM! 72 virgins.

S.G. Satchel A sleeping C4 thingy. It's obvious the fucks at Konami half assed the equipment.

Playboy Contains no fappable pictures, so whoever falls for this is most likely a virgin.

Stun Knife Very resourceful. You can rape your enemy, and kill them too!

Problems

There are a number of annoying problems in this game, as well, including:

Kids

Sadly, like every M-rated game online game, it is ruined by children who bitch and cry almost every game, calling you a fag and telling you to stop cheating. Game hosts can't simply kick them, because the geniuses at Konami either wanted to troll their consumers or just didn't give a shit about what they were doing, took away all the host's powers. So if the host wants to boot someone, they have to put it up for a vote, then all the dumb fucks in the game will say "no" and the little black person that was meant to be booted will still be in the game and throwing a fit about how everyone is stealing his kills.

Glitches

This game is filled with numerous glitches that are constantly being exploited by players in attempt to seem like the best gamer ever. You'd think Konami would have released some patches by now, but instead they just send out newsletters ever once in a while asking people to follow the rules and play nice.

IT'S A TRAP!!!

Over 9000 of the Metal Gear Online community are female characters played by basement dwelling men. All this game involves is going into a cardboard box and BOOM HEADSHOT on someone with an M4. If you do not use an M4, you are automatically a noob and should go back to playing Hello Kitty Island Adventure.

Elitist Players

Trolling MGO is child's play. Go ahead, find yourself a high level player, and proceed to call them a anal dwelling cock-maggot-ass-pirate. Chances are you'll be challenged to a 1v1 because you're jealous of his GEE PEE, but be sure to remind them that whether they win or lose at an online game, they are still an anal dwelling cock-maggot-ass-pirate, such as stated above. Elitists are no more different than your average americunt, only these keyboard warriors use the communication outlet of online gaming as a way to compensate for weighing 90 lbs per man titty. Another way to successfully troll MGO Tea-bag the shit out of everyone (Teammate or not, even if you didn't kill them). These faggots will take this shit SERIOUSLY.

Other successful trolling techniques include:

1) Go into free battle (pref a match with friendly fire), put on 1 CQC and 3 Blades and TK for the lulz (for maximum lulz do this in survival or even a free battle TSNE match, because those fags are SRS).

2) Go to a Zombie game, and don't switch when you die. Kill teammates for the lulz.

3) Plant C4s, Claymores, S.G mines, and etc in your spawn for the lulz, more lulz may be provided if there are micfags on your team.

4) Solo entry in tourny and mag your teammates OR get faggots to trust you enough to let you on their team then mag them.

4) Say CoD is better.

5) Use the P90, any shotty and G18C.

The Community

The community is overrun with gang members with PS3's and internet connections that make a punchcard modem look fast. If they aren't Mexican or just a Spic or nigger, they tend to be laggy europeans. The GameFAQs board for the game was one of the largest hives of scum and villainy, but is now dead because some fanboy decided to spend money to host a site for the cancer and AIDS that is the MGO community. The most talked about person is a greasy italian faggot named Jon (or DS, Pizza boy and other italian stereotypes those unfunny faggots come up with). Runs his clan Mind Games which is said to be the best clan to grace the game, but in fact, it's full of niggers and canadians with unwarranted self importance and too much time on their hands. He often gets butthurt over glitchers (even thou he is one, half ass vigilante fail) on MGO and records them, and sends the video evidence to Konami to get them banned.

Even though the method is useless as MGO is still crawling up the ass with glitchers. Any female player on MGO is basically a cam whore, and will use the fact that they're females to play with other players. In order to blend in, one must say things like: "Git Gud", "GOML" or call people N3's without knowing the meaning. One would also have to edit their upload settings to give themselves a "gameplay advantage". One must not forget to wear all red to show that they wasted their time collecting large amounts of virtual points. Wearing a "tournament prize" on their character is essential to be "known". After that, one must get their "GP" to AA+ and join a clan suitable enough to handle their ego.

Survival and Tournaments

In an effort to appeal to hardcore gamers and virgins, Kojima created Survival to give the community something to fap to. Survival is every elitist player on MGO's wet dream; as it gives them an excuse to show off their amazing skills without being kicked. However, very few players actually have any real skill. Most glitch or lagswitch, which is actually quite lulzy if you look at the recorded videos of them. The rest boost to ridiculous levels to get into good teams, only to abort five minutes later when they get pwnt. Tournaments are like survival, only they offer fugly purple shit as rewards. Participation in either survival or tournament automatically makes you a woman.

Another butthurt elitist prick who thinks Lag = Glitch. Truth be told no one glitches in Training and he's mad because of the balls on his face. Disabled comments due to butthurt.


This just proves that this game is a piece of shit and most of the people accused of Lagswitching or Glitching aren't in reality. Blame Konami.





Notable Faggots:

Dejoule: >implying people give a fuck who this faggot is.

2Hot2Handle: A glitching cam whore that demands attention on MGO. She only gets attention because she posts naked pictures of herself. Gets very sore easily, always rants about "1v1"'s. She happens to be a total butterface implying her body was any good.

BIGGESTBOSS: A elitist mexican emo kid that thinks it's awesome to brag about nothing. He regularly steals local Wi-Fi to play MGO.

CrimsonRex: See faggot

DismaliciouSx: Dropped out of college to play more MGO. Leads his clan; Mind Games, which is full of brown nosing faggots. Despite wanting to save MGO and ban all MGO's glitchers, he glitches on the Japanese servers. In which he claims he wanted Konami to be more aware. LOL, Faggot got banned.

Derek-The-Red: Possibly the only MGO player that has sense to stay out of the community's bullshit drama.

Arcadia: The only glitcher on MGO who has actual intelligence and common sense. Spends time cleaning up the shit that is MGO2.

SLADE: MGO's first successful troll, spanning back to the days of Subsistence. Where ever this valiant young man parades, he leaves a spectral trail of e-thug butthurt and internet tough guy suicide watches in his wake. It's safe to presume that his exploits influenced the machinimations of Kobra! Slade is probably in his Yacht, sailing the waters of Bora-Bora, smoking Cubans and sipping on fine Cognac.

Sentiel: Made MGO more mainstream but Konami didn't give a fuck, like it's so-called "dev support". He eventually got pissed off and went to his second house.

KillerClownGurl: Some faggot glitcher who kisses the ass of the "popular" players of MGO. Absolutely retarded, don't bother agruing with this dude, he just replies with a statement that doesn't make sense.

HIkurac: Pretends to be a level 0 to lurk around Johny lobby and trick people. Sadastic faggot who fuckin aimbots with SVD and the overpowered Ak, tends to camp in the back of map hording mags to trap the "mgo is SRS BZNS" players for the lulz. Still a faggot.

Skadij: A micwhore whose ear-rapingly high voice is often mistaken for a prepubescent boy. Uses her mic to get male players to fap and defend her from non-believers. A memefag who thinks saying "OMG MUDKIPZ!1!!!111!" will make her intimidating. Lurkmoar. LAWL UPDATE: Suddenly, Skadij seems to be made less of fail. This doesn't mean she is not fail, because MGO is full of AIDS. But her total pwnge of MGO's only furry community is worth mention, as is her Mudkipz clan emblem. IF I SEE THAT FUCKING TROLL ONE MORE TIME!

(space)BOB.: Another tbagging twat who spends too much time in Zombie and City games (That one space in your name is real original)

StrongestGamer: The so-called self proclaimed Villain Of The MGO Reddit, egotistical cunt but with a heart of gold, he has a HUGE rivalry with Perfect Stealth (see below) due to Perfect Stealth disrespecting his "mentor" Sentiel. Possibly the angriest player in MGO due to possible roid use but his roasts are 4chan worthy, especially against Perfect Stealth.

Perfect Stealth: The ultimate cancer of MGO, a wannabe ESL player who is sponsored by Konami but never won a tournament, let alone won a round, a product of PR gone well by KonAIDS. Has a HUGE rivalry with StrongestGamer and hates his guts. (see above)

Jupiter: The dick riding "An Hero" of Mind Games. Sucked the dick of DismaliciousX to get in the clan. Basically pretended to be a girl half of his "career" on MGO, until he updated his JewTube profile with his real name "Lawrence". He currently cybers with underage females on MGO. OH NOES! Jupiter deleted his/her/its character!

Kobra!: The ultimate troll of MGO, as he gets everyone butthurt very easily. People take all of his quotes and comments very seriously, leading them to have obsessed "tl;dr" rants about him. They often lie by saying they don't care about him. But the moment he says anything, they go batshit insane.

MiseryMissy: 34 year old attention whore that uses MGO as a social network. Basically a pedo, hunting younger players and is rumored to have had sex with a 16 year old MGO player. Claims to not care about opinions based on her but really does. Beware, Misery currently has GOTIS.... Recently got butthurt and attempted to DELETE FUCKING EVERYTHING.

Rague: Wannabe troll with "OMG IM SO DEEP" opinions. Spouts memes and expects praise for it.

Xemnes: Anagram of "Mensex." Has become a huge troll thanks to the faggotry of Skadij. Nice try ED, though you did get the fact that I love cheesecake correct. I shall now leave you to bawww/rage. Good day, gentlemen. -Xemnes

Professor Khai: The NICEST guy in the MGO community, arguably too nice.

Ultima Weapon: Elitist idiot claiming to have the fictitious rank of CHA. This person claims to know all, attempt to correct him and you get responses such as CHA CHA....CHA.

Redwings: Greasy sub-jew bastard who cheated in a tournament to get a headset so (s)he could watch and now listen to child porn silently.

FROG #51: Vamp Hore.

MasterSplinter? - Trolls without even attempting it. Displays his hatred for jews openly.

RebeccaChambers: "For some reason, everyone hates him. In fact, he's a pretty cool guy." -RebeccaChambers

metalsmake: MGO's resident 7-year old. Srsly. Listen to his voice. He sounds like a castrated fourteen year old fgt. Pretends to be GANGSTA to earn STREET CRED, but is only put in his place by MGO's older members.

NAOMIELITE: MGO's least favorite woman EVER. Everywhere Naomi goes, she is met by hate and bitterness. Noone likes her. Troll for great justice. WILL USE ALL CAPS.

Psykomantis: Some retarded elitist faggot, who shows his skillz in zombie and zombie only but bitches in a non-stat game.

Tony Rizzo: Typical wannabe micfag, who actually kisses the ass of anyone who doesn't point out that it sounds like his balls haven't dropped. If you ever see him tbag him for the lulz or better yet join his team and TK him to hear him bitch like the nutless buttbuddy he is.

p1mp: Some fucking loser that has 4 alt characters.

Brad Vickers? - Who the fuck names themselves after some pussy from Resident Evil? Nemesis wants some sweet sweet Vickers throat right about nao.

Katatafish - A woman who raeps men for the lulz.

bloodsteel: Typical glitching fuck who's only a LV 10.

zeusthunder10: Another typical 14 year old faggot glitcher.

Lone.Legend: Canadian aborting ass nigga.

JabbawockeeX - Only person on this shit game that's remotely funny.

Cx4Storm - Faggot who sang to another dude on a game, it cannot possibly get fruitier than that.

Lynchy - A glitcher that literally enjoys penises

WhiteWolf(With all fag symbols) - This thing cries too much.

Windalgo - Only person who's decent on at this game, which requires you to lag balls and whoever lags the most wins.

L.A.X - Enjoys vagina of the internet persuasion.

Proditor - May be forgotten but was one of the best trolls of 09/10, caused much butthurt but only teamkilled in Freebattle.

SexySexySniper - Dumb whore



To put MGO short, its full of a bunch of jews, spics, nigras, and nazis that whine and bitch daily.

Bitching

It seems like this is done by 90% of the retarded MGO community and the other 10% ignore the bullshit. Rather than finding a solution to a shotgunfag, shieldfag, sniperfag, or magfag they baww. It's a given no one gives a fuck about this game anymore, but of course the ones without lives take it too far. It is guaranteed that you can be a fair player and will be accused of every cheat or unfair advantage in the book such as being a "FKIN FGT N3 MAOING FK GFG SCRUB". Why? People get too butthurt, take the game way too seriously and are absolutely shit in this dying game.

A prime example of a hypocritical bitching cunt is DismaliciouSx.

Cash

Like mentioned above, players seem to be constantly needing to spend real cash on useless extras. Who cares if the PSN is free when they make you dish out more money than the game actually costs on extra garbage? Characters slots, expansions, even codec messages- who the fuck wants to pay money to have your character be able to say stupid shit like "Oh, my stomach..." Of course, you don't HAVE to purchase the extra stuff, but it's damn hard to join any games without at least having all the expansions- since you know everyone else is going to buy them anyway.

Noteworthy Items

  • Cardboard Box

No Metal gear game is complete without it. Seemingly useless, but can sometimes block bullets. Upon feeling the urge to masturbate on the battlefield, you can crawl under it and hide.

  • Porn Mag

Softcore porn will distract other players,even women giving you time to kill them, or you can set a porn and leave it there letting one of your team mates look at it so the other team will kill them. do this every game for epic lulz

  • Drum Can

Rolling into people using the drum can pisses them off to no end- so be sure to attempt it every game. Too much spinning will result in your character getting dizzy and vomiting puking up your team's jizz.

Jabbing one enemy with it will allow you to see his teammate's locations.

  • Smoke Grenade

If you see a sniper on your team, just throw these in the direction he's aiming endless times, better if you buy the colored smoke grenades so you can have 5 instead of 3, this will most likely end up with the sniper trying to kick you, but as mentioned before it wont work.

This Japanese Nigger will teach you the ways of MGO.

La Li Lu Le Lo

See Also

External Links

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