Mind control

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Jump to navigation Jump to search
An anti-mind-control crusader.
Know Obey your enemy kind, benevolent leader. All hail.

Mind control, contrary to popular belief, is serious fucking business. Do you often hear voices but fail to locate their source? Do you find yourself in locations and situations with no memory of how you got there? Do you find yourself the target of cruel mockery for your attempts to read/write English as if it were non-case-sensitive and/or a programming language? Do you fuck dogs? Some will call you crazy, but the truth is that you are a victim of mind control! The government, since it is evil and unsatisfied with its influence over the media, has been harassing you with electromagnetic fields since before you were born, and this can be proven by the fact that it gets little publicity. Some will tell you that magnetism has no effect on the human body, but they are puny carbon-based liars who do not even understand that linear time is lie. The man on the right knows the truth, but evil academics keep him down by forcing him to smoke crack and build a tent out of his motorcycle and literature every night.

However, some argue that "people with dirty minds deserve to be brainwashed".

Ways to avoid mind control

  • Take lots of drugs
  • Tinhat
  • Never leave your house
  • Never live in a house in the first place; they're filled with EM FIELDS!!one
  • Reject traditional spelling and grammar systems
  • Seek shelter with other anti-mind control activists (aka The Homeless)
  • Kill Sarah Kerrigan, any and all Dark Archons, and just stay the fuck away from the Korprulu Sector in the first place.
  • Send a bunch of tanks at the nearest Psychic Beacon or airstrike the nearest Psychic Dominator
  • Fuck dogs. Dogs can't be mindcontrolled, and neither can you while you're attached to them
  • Nothing. You weren't using your mind anyway.

VERY SERIOUS MIND CONTROL INFORMATION

The internets understands the power of mind control and it's clammy grasp on society and there are eleventy zillion websites dedicated to the cause YOU CAN BE SAVED!

Portal truth.png

Mind control is part of a series on

Truth

Visit the Truth Portal for complete coverage.