Minichan BBS

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Minichan
Minichan logo semitransparent.png
Type BBS
Founded 22nd June, 2010
Location Amerikkka lol Sweden (PRQ)
Key people r04r, Sim Jong Il
Motto Drama enthusiasts.
Industry Self-improvement
Products Drama, butthurt, shitposts.
Website Minichan

Minichan is one of the many shitty and thoroughly forgettable AnonTalk clones that consistently circle the drain of the thinking man's internets, hurriedly thrown together from the pitiful dregs of Tinychan. Its inhabitants claim to be refugees of Tinychan, however fleeing the heartbreak of mod abuse for a brave new hugbox does not make you a refugee; it makes you a retard.

The board is administered by a britfag who refers to himself as sim, a name which you will notice is short and snappy, and would be easy to remember were it not for the fact that the boy behind it is so bland. He and the halfwits over at Minichan would love to be a totally cool and popular BBS, except they fall horrifically short due to the incredibly stupid userbase and the fact that only around five people actually post there. When you see an anonymous poster on Minichan, it's one of the site owners/mods/users/fags posting anonymously to make the site look active.

Userbase

A typical day at Minichan.
An example of the quality discussion at Minichan.

Unlike most *chan sites and AnonTalk clones, having a tripcode while posting on Minichan is de facto necessary. Anonymous users are chided for not being easily identifiable, since nearly every thread consists of criticizing somebody's online persona.


Cracking a user's tripcode is considered a cardinal sin worse than murdering your own child. This crime is typically punished with a ban and an IP block, despite the fact that nearly everybody — even moot himself — has had his or her tripcode cracked at some point in time. The board offers "secure tripcodes", but the developers (sim and whomever sim can steal code from) put in the most retarded "secure tripcode" algorithm known to man that makes every single one look exactly the same. Instead of using 64-bit, base 64-encoded strings, sim went full retard and forced everybody to use unidentifiable, 32-bit, lowercase hexadecimal strings.

Atomic.gif Warning!
This section consists of people infected with USI. Read at your own risk.

[-+]Users

Depressionman
A 40-year-old basement dweller in Louisiana. He invents unfunny memes that only he uses. Believes people are stalking him because his dox are always dropped. Lives with his mother because nobody wants to be his roommate. An extremely likely candidate for dying alone. After too many threads he's made like, "The Official™ Becky's Bodily Functiae Thread. Feel free here to discuss Becky's greasy meatfarts, Becky's sweaty, smelly feet, Becky's garlic burps, etc." ... Minichan now stealth bans him. All his threads he makes and replies he makes only show up on his account and IPs used by the account, but to everyone else they are invisible. Viewing a URL to the thread says "thread deleted."


Mod drama

Modfagging it up

On the majority of *chan forums, and on most Internet forums in general, moderators are expected to give a "light touch" to nudge users into being compliant with all rules and prevent any instances of raging. Minichan takes a completely different approach to forum moderation; rather than using a "light touch", they prefer a sledge hammer and blowtorch.

It is perfectly acceptable for a moderator to edit a user's post and stalk a user using his IP address, despite what it says in the site's rules. This merely feeds the mod drama, but sim is always ready to evaluate everybody's attitude and restore order.

Bribing away mod drama

Still living under the delusion that forums earn money, sim decided to hatch a brilliant plan to reduce mod drama, increase namefag recognition, gain respect from moderators and earn money at the same time: asking users to pay him $5 per year to put a gold star next to their name. Yes, you read that right: sim tore a page out of the flower-child-Kindergarten-teacher playbook and used it to Jew his users out of money.

How to troll Minichan

It's extremely easy to troll MC and its users. Simply do one of the following:

  • Start a topic that contains phrases such as "pronounced as one word," "girlfart," and use Depressionman #poopfart as the name. The thread will turn into a 200-reply dramafest.
  • Start a topic with the name sK (use any tripcode) and flood fatfuck.jpg. This is sure to get a rise out of Depressionman.
  • Create a new topic and mention how inferior Minichan is to Tinychan and that ltamake is a superior coder and site admin to r04r or sim.
  • Create a topic asking if you can remove the footer link from MC's software, TinyBBS.
  • Post as a popular namefag using a cracked tripcode. This creates lulz because most MC users are autistic teenagers infected with USI and can't stand being imitated on the Internet.
  • Post AnonBBS or Tinychan spam. This will cause sim to report said sites and bitch about it in IRC

Site policies

The Web host that Minichan uses is in Canada. The decency, obscenity, and "hate speech" laws are so strict that saying the word black (as in, "black hole" or "black paint") may be construed as a racist, and thereby illegal, statement. Urine play and scat porn are strictly forbidden. The admins (sim in particular) are so paranoid about losing their site that they are willing on censoring anybody who uses the words "piss" and "shit".

The only reason that the site is hosted in Canada, according to moderators, is due to the very low price. Meanwhile, the site admin hosts a barely-used BBS whose purpose no longer exists. Go figure.

Not anymore! Their current shitty host ReWired Host had their servers repossessed by repo man.

Recently, the site moved to an American server, but the admins are still enforcing the Canadian rules.

LOL Now it is on PRQ.

Not been on PRQ in years. Back in America (probably). Urine play and scat porn still result in rage.

[-+]Shit that gets you b&

Note: Kenny vs. Spenny is a Canadian show, and it's shown in Canada.

No mobile android devices allowed!

Even know it has been many months since Kimmo Alm was a real threat, they will block your android phone and claim it is because it is a proxy server. It will still claim you are behind a proxy even when you are on your own home network. Rest assured macfags, the iPhone can get on just fine. This is probably a blessing in disguise as a way to help you stay away from the utter faggotry.

"Sim"

   
 
Get fucked.
 

 
 

—Sim's standard response to an opinion he doesn't agree to, or a fact he refuses to believe.

   
 
I'm a noob.
 

 
 

—Sim showing his true colours.

The main administer, sim, lives in the United Kingdom Netherlands now, and claims his real name is "Simon Frost". Generally, being British would entail being very intelligent, cool-headed and having a brutally honest sense of humour. Unfortunately for Simon, his intelligence seems to come more from British oil companies than British universities. He also has anger management issues that make Chris-chan seem like a compassionate and sociable guy. His entire repertoire of humor consists of such great responses as "Oh, okay" and "GET FUCKED".

Technological ineptitude

In sim's world, "hexadecimal" means "base 32".

Sim forced his way onto the TinyBBS development team by offering private messaging to the original ATBBS code base. His contributions, among others, are:

  • A "secure tripcode" algorithm that encodes your tripcode in MD5. Your tripcode can actually "leak" onto the board if you type it in incorrectly, or put it after non-ASCII characters. Apparently, sim couldn't take a well-established 2ch/4ch algorithm and implement it without fucking it up.
  • A reCAPTCHA component. Unlike every other Web site in existence, if you need to solve a CAPTCHA, the site deletes your cookies (essentially wiping out your account), blanks the screen and throws away whatever you were about to submit. Google's directions on using the reCAPTCHA API aren't written in a childish form of British English, so we can't blame sim for not understanding it.
  • A new and novel way of generating anonymous usernames, where every post made locks the entire post table.
  • A private messaging system that mods can use to harass people without having to make a sticky post.
  • A proxy blocking component. He uses a public blacklist of proxies, and he's even added AT&T/Verizon/other cell phone networks to the list so they can't generate UIDs.

Sim frequently makes threads bragging about his Galaxy S cell phone and its superior screen. If you mention the iPhone 4 (whose screen has a significantly higher resolution), sim will ban you and call you a troll. He once went so far as to ban all AT&T customers. (He later narrowed the ban down to a few IP addresses; cell phone users can't get a new IP address, right?)


   
 
Is it feature request season already?

I'd like to point out no new features will be added for the time being.
 


 
 

— Sim, showing how much he cares about his board and users

Financial ineptitude

Sim claims that the British economy is better than the U.S. economy, despite the fact that Britain's gross domestic product is somewhere between the individual states of California and Texas. He bases this "fact" on the value of the British pound being 50% higher than that of the dollar. If you mention to sim that the value of the British pound used to be over 480% above that of the dollar, he'll ban you and call you a troll.

Sim, however, still levies his "gold star" prices in dollars.

Social ineptitude

   
 
The majority of the article is pretty much a personal attack on me by someone butthurt over something I don't know. It makes it funnier though.
 

 
 

—Sim, trying to cover up his own butthurt.


   
 
This article should be renamed to sim. All it does it display extreme butt hurt of whoever is putting those sections up. Amusing, I wonder who it is.
 

 
 

—Still trying, and failing, to cover up his own butthurt.

A diagnosis of Asperger's can easily be given after reading sim's anger laced rants.

Sim will not communicate through any media that he does not completely control with absolute fucking power. If you ask him to chat on IRC, he will join the network but create his own channel — and kickban anybody who does not kiss his limey arse. He refuses to chat on Tinychat because he can only control rooms he creates and nobody will join them.

His only saving grace is his creation of yet another AnonTalk clone on Kimmo's "bulletproof" Web host, PRQ. DISREGARD THAT SIM SUCKS COCKS. AnonTalk is back up. AnonTalk is fucking dead since April 2011. RIP.

Sim vs. a pedo

 
 

02:41 sim http://www.anonbbs.com/
02:41 sim lol
02:41 sim seems he is no longer with "us"
02:41 sim and i mean on the same server as mc
02:41 Fuchs >mfw it gets redirected to wikileaks in the near future
02:41 sim lol
02:42 sim i may or may not have reported all the skimpy girls to limestone hq
02:42 sim http://69.162.77.19
 


 

Sim admits to attacking Tinychan and is edged on by r04r to attack yet another innocent BBS. Yet another display of faggotry and butthurt from GLORIOUS LEADER.

 
 

<r04r> Lol
<r04r> TC is down
<sim> lol
<sim> i modified the anontalk attack bot scripts
<sim> to work on TC
<r04r> Lol
<sim> it also works on all tinybbs forums
<sim> considering trying it on ghoul
<r04r> Haha do it.
 


 

Sim thinks everyone is his personal army

 
 


<sim> so nice to have people help me when im being attacked by to4str, ltamake, and a bunch of angry anons
<sim> cheers
<sim> why isnt any fucking TC mod pointing out ltamake is lying asshole
<sim> you guys know better
<sim> fucking disappointing
<sim> im off for tonight
sim has quit (Quit: goodnight)
 


 


"r04r"

r04r (possible names: Lis, Jillian), a self admitted autistic lesbian, is a supposed coder for TinyBBS. She codes a lot of TinyBBS, and does a pretty shitty job of it. For starters, she's clearly never heard of functions or grouping your code out so it actually makes sense. She also doesn't realize that ATBBS was never meant to be a serious BBS software, and tries to turn it into phpBB at every chance she gets.

r04r vs. ltamake

When ltamake reopened Tinychan, the admins of MC started conspiring on how to take them down. r04r accused ltamake of using her super-secret, AIDS-curing, world-peace-generating database class and was prompt to ask for a link to her website on Tinychan. ltamake, as stupid as he is, agreed. However, once Simmo started trolling him, he removed it. This resulted in a bitter relationship between Tinychan and Minichan, with users spamming and raiding each other back and forth like /b/tards. r04r and ltamake have since then made up, with Simmo being the only one who still gives two shits about the supposed "boardwar".

Gallery of fail

See also

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