From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Your sympathies, can we have them?
As if no one knew that rampant atrocities plague the underdeveloped hellhole that is the zulu nation, some Norwegian artist named Morten Traavik has developed a fucking freakshow/beauty contest for Angolan women who have had their goddamn limbs blown off by landmines. Exploitation much? Yes, much, considering Traavik is doing it all in an attempt to get people to buy prosthetics from a company that he has stake in.
Direct From Morten’s Mouth
"The Miss Landmine project is a way to lure female landmine survivors into putting out for people with an amputee fetish and then collecting money from said sick fucks. If it is successful, I may someday be able to move the fuck out of this shitbox of a country that I live in and do something productive with my life besides preying on the crippled and calling it art or a socially conscious beauty pagent.
Depending on the level of interest from local black person, each cripple may be whored out as many as twenty times a day. Each Miss Landmine is a representative in her own province, with the responsibilities of sucking dong, fisting ass, drinking nutbutter and providing her box for any and all rape fantasies. These women will assist other amputees in the same situation and monitor ways of empowerment, such as getting what you're worth and spreading AIDS as much as possible.
We are hopeful that the Miss Landmine pilot may function as a catalyst, both to Angola and internationally, for the project to grow and develop, with or without the assistance of the original Miss Landmine team."
The Miss Landmine Manifesto
- Female humiliation and objectification.
- Disabled female humiliation and objectification.
- Worldwide lulz.
- Heightened inferiority and/or guilt complexes.
- Question the abilities of landmines and ponder why the fuck they don't finish the job the first go around.
- Celebrate tragedy and brutality.
- Replace the term 'survivor' with the term 'Goddamn Tax Wasting Victim'
Who Will You Vote For?
Of the 10 contestants, 3 are employed.
Miss Moxico cited "Boss" as her dream job and Miss Uige cited "Street Vendor" as her dream job, while Miss HUÍLA said she would do anything, which is probably the best CV you can have if you want a job there.
Miss Benguela said her favorite color is Sand???
Miss Malanje has only a head and torso. And lastly, of the 10 contestants 8 have
children niglets and 1 is pregnant yet only 1 is married, and 10 of the 10 goddesses displaying stumps huff ass hash.
Current Frontrunners for the crown:
- Avid huffer of ass hash
- Appears to be 64 yet is only 17
- Aspirations: None
- Hobbies: Getting raped
- Favorite color: Sand?
- Has double the oxygen intake in a single breath than a normal human
- Occupation: Rapist
- Hobbies: Raping
- Favorite food: Hyena haunch after a good rape
- Wants to win it for her mother (whom she's never met)