Misterpoet

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ATTENTION!
This luser is a lolcow, and should be trolled to death in the usual fashion.
You can help by posting their nude pix or spamming their talk page.
How many lives does this man lead?

Misterpoet is a regular poster at Sparknotes' Your Poetry message boards. His poetry, usually lacking any creativity, logic, or any semblance to modern English, used to be mocked mercilessly, and his comments sparked some of the best drama of all time. His Sparknotes profile says his IQ is 72, two points away from being legally retarded

Examples of Poetry

  Death, she is of beauty  
  to my eyes,  
  She calls my name  
  with peace tonight,  
  And I follow her  
  into the light  
  Where everything is clam  
  and peaceful and quiet.  
  Nothing more is around  
  but me and death  
  holding hands.  
  We walk together  
  down the hall  
  into eternity--  
  a room painted sky  
  with roses and a waterfall.  
  Then she drifts off  
  and I'm alone in my twilight,  
  though not afraid  
  of this lonliness...  
  Every-so-often, she returns  
  and we speak of harmony  
  and I smile, full of joy and glee.  
  I can't believe it took so long  
  for her to come and take me. 
  The lulz here

The Best of His Drama

Comments to Critique

When someone disagrees with Misterpoet's creative vision and challenges the merit of his "work", Misterpoet gets very upset. Taken from the same thread as the above poem:

"YOU ARE PISSING ME OFF SAYING I FORCED THE GODDAMN RHYME... I DIDN'T.
AND SECOND OFF: I LIKE EMILY DICKINSON! WHO GIVES A FUCK IF YOU THINK SHE SUCKS...
I HATE FUCKING PEOPLE SAYING I FORCE SHIT... I DON'T!
I have many idol's... Emily, Carl, Cummings, Longfellow, Whitman... and more here

"Poet of the Year"

Once Misterpoet contributed to a scam poetry contest, where everyone contributing a poem gets his or her poem in an anthology with a message saying they are "Poet of the Year!!" Excited, he told everyone at Your Poetry he was "POET OF THE YEAR (BIG ANNOUNCEMENT!!)" His dreams were crushed by the sentimental audience. (The whole thread)

Homosexuality

Misterpoet claims to be gay here, yet also claimed he had a son and girlfriend, and was engaged to his boyfriend the "shocker" here. No one knows how he can lead so many lives at once, unless he is in fact bullshitting.

ED Drama

Misterpoet has recently blanked his and various other ED Userpages and has threatened ED and TransmitFailure with legal action. However, instead, Misterpoet missed his e-court date and instead blanked the page. All e-charges were dropped, and thus, the page stays.

For the love of Garwy

As Misterpoet's court date approached and the extent of the charges became known, Garwy (who Misterpoet had always adored, no matter how much Garwy sneered at him) suddenly decided Misterpoet's 'poems' were now wonderful, and they had email correspondence, no doubt in an attempt to expand their pedo ring on Sparknotes.