Monster Ranch Online
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Monster Ranch Online is a conspiracy to glue all the morons of the Internet to something other than being stupid, run by an utter drama whore who goes by the name of Sharks12. Fine, it isn't really game so much as it is staring emptily at a screen clicking on a bunch of pixels while your soul is being eaten, and Sharks12 isn't really an admin but a Dick Head, but who cares?
The Average Monster Ranch User
Spotting a Monster Ranch Player is incredibly n00b!
- Glassy, vacant eyes
- Dry skin and overall poor hygiene
- Incredible intelligence levels
- Membership to Compulsive Poster's Anonymous (CPA)
- Constant droning on and on about ] and/or Jailbait. If they claim to be older, they usually are seven.
- Very sad Pedobear shaking his head and crying nearby.
Elite Monster Ranch players have permanent dickhead personalities. Almost all of them have raging hardons for Sharks12 and gladly suck his e-penis whenever he whips it out in front of them (which is frequently). They are even Smarter than the normal Monster Ranch users and love to flaunt it at every single opportunity. Time not spent sucking E-Penis is spent roleplaying out Monster Roleplay Characters notable for having zero physical descriptions and almost always the same personalities.
The moderators are useless Aspies noted for their special maturity levels and being total cunts. The loudest of them are notable Otherkin and are even more protective of the Monster Ranch bullshit than normal as they don't know the difference between real monsters and shitty pixel art "monsters". Time not spent jerking it to Monster "art" is spent bashing newbies into the ground for asking WTF is up with the total lack of information on how to play this game. God forbid someone let slip one of Monster Ranch's Awesome Secrets!
Rules of Monster Ranch
Monster Ranch operates under a strict code of silence. Anyone who so much as says a peep about the many secrets of the Ranch will be eaten by Sharks. Once any word is uttered about the many incredible secrets of Monster Ranch, the banhammer Comes down leading to Loli Pancakes and lots of Bawwwwing.
The Admins are also apparently pussys and possibly emo.... If you have an issue with the site admin, take it to PMs. If you post it in the forums, everyone will jump into the thread, causing lag and stress and bad feelings, eventually resulting in the site admin feeling so worthless because everyone is insulting them that they just pack up and leave.
Head mod Acoyph
Her main claim to fame is being even more paranoid and anal than every other user combined! She flits around the forum to spew her opinion everywhere and actually think it means something, when really what most of the kids is roll their eyes and skip her posts. Newbies think she's a mod. Sharks' asslickers think she's a god. The rest of us think she needs to Shut the fuck up.
When not being a drama whore, Acoyph is busily churning out nauseatingly-bad dragon "sprites". She likes to whine when it looks like her sprites are not the favorites in a thread because she's so special.
What Monster Ranch does not want you to know
These are the highly guarded secrets of Monster Ranch. Posting these on the Ranch or any affiliated site will get you banned, flamed until black and cripsy by sub-teenage morons, and then eaten by Sharks. In the interest of free speech and saving time for anyone who might ever contemplate joining Monster Ranch, these dark secrets must be brought to light! Without these dearly-kept secrets there would be far fewer morons glued to the screen and madly clicking and Pedobear would be much happier.
Think of the Pedobear - spread the secrets.
User Submitted Sprites
On the 29th of March, Acoyph unveiled her wonderful idea: User submitted sprites. Following this, all other new works of Monster Ranch are user submitted. Much BAWWWWING arose from the Art Nazis as they realised that Acoyph had edited her post and stole their rights. Hail Acoyph, the wonderful. Others simply Bawwwed about their lack of brains to produce sprites. http://forum.monsterranch.com/viewtopic.php?f=14&t=1451
September 10th, Sharks reveals his latest brain storm, a slogan contest. Many members decided to join the usual Elite MRO players in awaiting to see if Sharks12 would release new shitty pixel art to winners. Much to their dismay, it was not released into the shop for people to buy it. Bawwing occured once more as people could not purchase the latest Bawwing happened when their pixels got failed. Once Sharks fixed this though, the players hailed his work and sucked his e-penis hard.
One week after his latest Picasso, Sharks had the brains to do it once more. Much Bawwing occurred when 3 winners were to be reawarded, only 2 were received their prizes. Of course Sharks took the opportune moment to be a bureaucrat by whipping out his E-penis.
|Monster Ranch Online is part of a series on MMORPGs.||[Ding!]|